Going to Extremes
by American Soldier
Summary: After the Lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.
1. Chapter 1

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

A/N: my second attempt at a wrestling crossover…guess with who? Plus, it's been years, so, I don't really remember the feuds going on at the time, so, I'm adlibbing a little bit here.

ҖECWҖ

Xander walked on in the blinding heat of California as quickly as he could. It was two days ago, two long days, that his life had been up heaved in a brand new way. Angel had tried to bring about the apocalypse, and had sent some vamps to attack him and his friends to capture Giles during the middle of a complex spell to give the bastard his soul back…then, his best friend, who just woke up from a coma, decided to do the spell again.

So, he'd done the sensible thing…he'd lied to his best friend, Buffy, and told her nothing about the spell. It made sense to him, still did. If he were to have his soul, she would hesitate, and the world could be lost. He figured that Buffy would kill him off before she even had to know…for the time being.

Instead, Willow had completed the spell before Angel could even stab Acathla with the sword…a day and a half later, and Giles calls him up, tells him to leave before Buffy comes, and he does just that.

His first plan was real simple…run and hide. He didn't trust any of his family to keep him safe, so he just had to rely on himself…fun.

As he entered the parking lot to the bus station, he groaned aloud as he saw Cordelia standing there, waiting for him.

"…Giles called me," she told him before he could say anything, "He said you were running…from Buffy."

"…I didn't lie because I was jealous," he said.

"You did," she remarked calmly, "But, that wasn't the sole reason…if I honestly believed that you did what you did solely out of jealousy, Buffy would be here right now…but, she's not."

She walked up to him and shoved something into his hand, then shoved her tongue down his throat. He responded in kind after a moment of shock, but she pulled away before it could become too intimate.

"Call me every week," she said, "But, don't tell me where you are."

With that being said, she walked away from him, strolling back to her car. He sighed, took a breath to calm himself down, and looked into his hand. There were twenty hundred dollar bills in his hand, along with a piece of paper with Cordy's cell number on it, and a bus ticket to Philadelphia.

"…Thanks, Queen C."

ҖECWҖ

South Philadelphia…two months later…

The man had been heading to his car when it had happened. Some freak with a weird forehead and fangs had attacked him, and no matter what he did to fend him off, nothing would work. For a while, there, it seemed that his time was up, and, as the thing forced him back onto the car and exposed his neck, he begged whatever was up there to watch over his family and his girl.

Before anything could happen, though, the person atop him burst into a pillar of dust.

He looked up at his savior…a kid with shoulder length hair, dressed in a pair of ripped jeans, a military looking black jacket, and a shirt with Ash from_Army of Darkness_ with the words 'This is my Boomstick!' In his hand was a wooden stake.

"What the fuck," he shouted, "What the fuck just happened?"

"You're welcome, Bucket Head," the kid scoffed.

"What was that," he demanded, standing up as he did so.

"A vampire, you idiot," the kid said, "What'd it look like?"

"Vampires aren't real," he responded, though he wasn't as sure as he sounded now.

"You keep telling yourself that," the kid said, "Meanwhile, here in the real world, I'm in need of a bed to sleep in. You know of the nearest hotel?"

He sighed, figuring that the least he could do was give him a ride to a hotel.

"You can come with me," he said, "I'll drive you to the nearest hotel."

The kid paused at that, sizing him up, then, nodded and extended his hand.

"Name's Xander."

"Tommy," the two shook hands, "What're you doing in Philly, kid?"

"Looking for work," he said, "Probably work as a gravedigger or undertaker."

"You interested in death," Tommy asked as he climbed into his vehicle.

"Interested in keeping those fuckers in the ground where they belong," he muttered.

"…That really was a vampire, wasn't it," Tommy asked, somewhat scared now.

"Yep."

"…You gonna tell me anything about it?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Wanna sleep."

"…Want a job?"

That got the kid's attention.

"What kind of a job," Xander asked.

"Can you take a punch or a chair to the head," Tommy asked with a grin.

He showed him his arm, which was in a cast…the cast looked worn out, and dented, as though he'd hit something with it.

"Vampire do that," the kid nodded, "That must've hurt."

"Hitting it back with the cast hurt even more, but it felt great, too," Tommy had to laugh, even as the kid took the cast off, revealing a fully healed arm, "Good weapon, hard to put back together."

"So, I assume we're talking wrestling here," Xander said, "It ain't for WWF or WCW, is it? I don't wanna be on national TV."

"Nah, we're a small promotion," Tommy said, "We'll get there one day, though…I know we will."

"Why would you offer me a job," Xander asked, "You don't even know me?"

"Anyone who fights vampires for a living must be tough," Tommy said, "Besides, that way, I can find out more about vampires."

"…Ok," Xander said, "I'll take it, if I can possibly get a free place to stay for a while."

"No problem," Tommy said, "You can stay in the arena."

"…Alright, then," he said, "What do you wanna know?"

"Later," Tommy said, pulling up to a large building, "Let me check with my boss. There's a show next week, and we need someone to do a match with one of our guys."

"Cool," Xander said, climbing out as Tommy did, "So, what exactly is this wrestling thing we're talking about here?"

"Well, we were part of the NWA," Tommy said, locking up as he did so, "But, we pulled out and formed our own independent promotion. We used to be called Eastern Championship Wrestling, but now we're Extreme Championship Wrestling."

"Awesome," Xander said.


	2. Chapter 2

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

ҖECWҖ

Tommy walked into the silent locker room, slightly scared as he was used to it being filled with guys milling about. He knew Paul would be here tonight, so he was hoping that he could hook Paul up with this information before something bad happened…and, to hopefully get the ok from him about Xander.

He walked up to Paul's office and knocked on it.

"Yeah?"

"Hey," Tommy called, walking inside as he did so.

"Tommy," Paul stood up and greeted him, "What're you doing here? I thought I would be the only one here."

"Ordinarily, you would be, but, we need to talk."

Paul was about to say something, but the door opened again as Xander stepped in.

"Who's this," Paul asked, staring at Xander, "New guy?"

"Could be," Tommy said, pulling out a chair, "Take a seat, Xander."

"Hi," he said, extending his hand, "Name's Xander."

"Paul Heyman," the two shook hands, "So, what can I do for you, Xander?"

"I am in need of a job," Xander said with a grin, "And Tommy-boy here said that he could get me one here."

Paul stared at Tommy for a moment.

"There's more to it than that," Tommy responded, "…I was attacked earlier tonight."

"You alright," Paul looked concerned now.

"Yeah, well, sorta…" Tommy took a breath, "I was damn near killed by a vampire, Paul."

"…Vampires," Paul asked, shocked, "They aren't real, Tommy. You know that."

"Bullshit," Tommy replied sternly, "You didn't nearly have your neck bitten off."

Paul stared at him for another moment, assessing whether or not he should believe Tommy, but, something in his voice told him to listen.

"Ok," Paul said, "How'd you get outta there?"

Tommy looked pointedly at Xander.

"The kid saved me," Tommy said, "He stuck a pointy stick in his back, and the vamp exploded into dust."

Paul looked at Xander, indicating for him to go.

"I did," Xander said simply.

"…So, vampires are real," Paul said, somewhat freaked out, "Tommy, are you sure you saw what you saw?"

"One hundred percent," Tommy responded.

"…How do you know about vampires," Paul asked.

"They killed my brother," Xander said, "I hunt them, as well as demons."

"…Demons," the two said as one.

"Another time," Xander said, "I'll explain, I promise, but, let's discuss a job?"

"…Can you wrestle," Paul asked.

"Nope," Xander said, "I know a lot of combat styles, but I'm no wrestler."

"Ok," Paul said, "Tommy, why do you want this kid to have a job?"

"So that I can learn more about what's out there," Tommy admitted, "Vampires and demons, man…I never knew."

"If you want me to introduce the world to all your wrestlers, then I'm leaving right now," Xander said, "You're asking for trouble doing that."

"Why," Paul asked, "Shouldn't people be warned?"

"People couldn't handle it," Xander said, "If you get involved and survive, then you have a right to more knowledge. If you're happy in ignorance, then I won't tell you. People don't need to know everything…especially stuff like that."

Paul and Tommy shared a look, both realizing that this kid knew more than he was letting on.

"…Head outside, will ya," Paul asked.

"Sure," Xander said, heading out.

"I dunno about this, Tommy," Paul said as soon as he'd left, "The kid's got no experience, no training, Hell, the only thing he knows how to do is kill demons!"

"Which makes him more just as experienced, if not more experience than New Jack," Tommy replied, "C'mon, the kid saved my life…give him a shot, and he won't disappoint."

"…Alright, Tommy," Paul sighed, "You're lucky Rob needs someone to face next week. You got a week to train him. Let him know how we do things in ECW, and make sure he knows not to go messing with either Sabu or Taz."

"Sounds like a plan," Tommy said with a grin, "I'm looking forward to the havoc a demon hunter's going to cause for us."

"Not me, I've been sued three times this week," Paul said with a laugh.


	3. Chapter 3

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

ҖECWҖ

"So, the rules are that everything and anything goes," Xander asked as he and Tommy walked outside the arena.

He had received a general crash course in wrestling earlier that day, mostly from Tommy with some technical advice from Taz. For the most part, Xander was going to wing it. That was how he'd survived Sunny-Hell and being on the run for two months, so it was what he knew the best.

"Pretty much," Tommy said as he came to a stop at the road, "You gotta watch out for the audience, too. The fans'll chew you up and spit you out if they don't like you."

"Like I care what they think," Xander said, pulling out a cigarette and taking a puff, "Who do I watch out for? I know I face this 'Rob Van Dam' in two nights, but there's gotta be some psychos in that locker room."

"Ugh, there's the Dudleys," Tommy said with a snarl, "Me and them are fighting right now, their brother Spike is alright. Don't fuck with Sandman, though, he'll cane you the second you do."

"Sandman," Xander said with a grin, "I like that name. What's he do?" 

"He's a carpenter," Tommy said, "Him and me are fighting the Dudleys, too, along with Spike. Also, watch out for the Triple Threat: Shane Douglas, Bam Bam Bigelow, and Chris Candido. Shane's the world champion, so he might wanna invite you in or take you out, depending on how you do. Oh, and Justin Credible, he's someone to watch out for, too. Him and his entourage of freaks."

"Justin Credible," Xander asked, "You sure as Hell have some interesting names here."

"Wait till you meet Fonzie," Tommy said with a grin, "That whistle of his will make you wanna kill him."

Xander said nothing, just enjoyed his cigarette as the two waited.

"By the way, Paul asked me a very important question," Tommy said, turning to him, "I'm covering for you here, so I need the truth…how old are you?"

"Seventeen," Xander said, "What's the problem?"

"A few years ago, this kid calling himself Mass Transit told us he was nineteen to get in a match," Tommy told him, "Thanks to that bastard, we lost our first pay-per-view."

"So, what, I don't have insurance, ID, and you won't have to worry about me getting injured," Xander said.

"Why," Tommy asked.

"Because, I'll take care of myself before trusting a doctor," Xander said, an incensed look up his face.

"…Alright," Tommy said warily, watching as a large van pulled up, "Alright, here we go."

Xander nodded indifferently, following Tommy up to the van, where a large man with a beer in hand came out, dressed in a pair of black pants and a black _AC/DC_ T-shirt.

"Hey, Tommy," the man greeted him before facing Xander, "Who's the virgin?"

Xander pointedly ignored the jab, inhaling a large puff from his cigarette.

"Sandman, Xander, Xander, Sandman," Tommy said.

"Mind if I borrow a light," Sandman asked as he pulled out his cigarettes.

Xander took an extra puff and extended his cigarette, which Sandman used to light his own.

"Awesome," Sandman said, taking a puff, "Alright, let's get started. Paul E wants these tables inside ASAP. Plus, I wanna drink."

"When do you not drink," Tommy asked.

"When I'm sleeping," Sandman said, "Well, sometimes while I'm sleeping."

"Wow, you and my Dad'd get along real well," Xander said, picking up a table as he went along, "Now all we need's my mom, passed out in a pile of puke, and you got my whole family life."

"Great, another Raven," Sandman said with a snarl, "Guess your parents abused you, too, huh?"

"Yeah, they did, but I got over it," Xander said, "Who the Hell's Raven?"

"Old friend of mine," Tommy said, obviously wanted to avoid the issue.

"You're not gonna be all depressive and start 'sharing your pain,' are you," Sandman asked, "Cause, if you are, I'm just gonna bash your fuckin' brains in right now."

"Hey, c'mon, the kid didn't-" Tommy tried to defuse the situation.

"Bring it on, forehead," Xander said, standing his table up as he did so.

Tommy sighed and stood back, waiting to see what would happen. Sandman walked up to Xander, his hand wrapped around his trusty Singapore cane, looking as intimidating as only the Sandman could. Xander met his challenge easily, staring into the eyes of the Sandman with enough coldness to intimidate anyone.

After a moment or two, Tommy was genuinely concerned that they might've gone catatonic before Sandman started to cackle, obviously pleased with what had just transpired.

"You got balls, kid," Sandman said, "Let's get these tables in, then the three of us can share a beer."

Sandman walked off, cane tucked under his arm and a table in each hand, leaving Tommy staring at Xander, wondering what his reaction would be.

"…That guy reminds me of Dick Van Dyke," Xander said, "Only without the Van or the Dyke."

Tommy stared after him as Xander walked off, table in hand. After a moment, Tommy smiled and said, "He's gonna fit in real well around here…so long as he doesn't ever meet New Jack."


	4. Chapter 4

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

ҖECWҖ

Xander sat in the back, pulling on his leather gloves as he did so, waiting for his cue. He hadn't met Rob yet, but from what he'd heard in the back, 'RVD' was quite the competitor. He was the Television Champion, and the Tag Team Champion, along with a vicious son of a bitch named Sabu. He'd had the pleasure of meeting Sabu, and had quickly decided that Sabu was someone he'd want to avoid if he could.

On the vampire side, he'd had a good amount of success in the graveyards. It wasn't Hellmouth worthy, but there were enough to keep him busy till he was ready to move on.

"Hey, bro," Xander looked up to see a guy dressed in a singlet with his hair pulled back in a ponytail, "What's up, man? You Xander?"

"Yeah," Xander said, standing up, "Who're you?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you'd recognize me," the guy said, smiling, "My name is Rob," he took his thumbs and pointed them at himself, "Van…Dam! The Whole Fuckin' Show."

Xander stared at him, a distinctly unimpressed look upon his face. Rob was put off by it for a moment, but smiled and continued.

"I just wanted to come and wish you good luck," Rob said, "And, hey, don't worry about it. When you lose against Mr. Monday Night," he did the pointy thing again, "It won't make you look bad…you'll just look like everybody else."

Xander decided then and there that he didn't like Rob. The guy was laid back, but arrogant and cocky. He reminded him of Larry, that dumb jock that would beat the crap outta him. And of Buffy ,with that casual dismissal of his skills. That comparison just served to further piss him off.

Instead of hitting him or anything, Xander just smiled and said, "This is going to be entertaining."

As he moved on, he noticed a camera positioned behind Rob in a way so that he could be seen. He hadn't even noticed them beforehand.

"What the fuck's his problem," he heard Rob complain as he walked away.

ҖECWҖ

Xander listened as _Walk_ by _Pantera_ came on, signaling RVD's entrance. He smiled grimly as the crowd chanted along with _Re-Spect! Walk!_, knowing that he would be taken very differently than Rob. Still, it certainly promised to be fun.

He had told Paul E a bit about his past, just enough to let him know not to ask anymore, and based on that and his budget, he'd picked the song _Judgment Day_ by _Van Halen_ as his theme music. Personally, he would've liked either _TNT_ or _Shoot to Thrill_ by _AC/DC_ instead, but he understood that the budget had to be adhered to.

As his music played, he waited for a few seconds, checking to see that his equipment was together. He was dressed in his jeans and his _Army of Darkness_ T-shirt that, unfortunately, had lost both sleeves and had a large claw mark at his chest, which he'd only been lucky enough to miss. Aside from that, he was dressed in his boots and black jacket.

As he exited the curtain, he immediately understood why Tommy had warned him. The fans were ravenous, sending out catcalls and jeering at him. He didn't care, fortunately, so he just walked on past them with an air of indifference. He entered the ring, watching Rob carefully, and leaned into the ropes.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the announcer said, "Introducing first, from Battle Creek, Michigan; weighing in tonight at two-hundred thirty pounds, he is the ECW World Television Champion, and the ECW Tag Team Champion," Rob's manager, Bill Alfonso, took off both his belts, "Accompanied to the ring tonight by the Manager of Champions, the man who calls it right down the middle, Bill Alfonso. Ladies and Gentlemen, he is Mr. Monday Night, ROB VAN DAM!"

Rob did his thumbs pose and did a spin kick, landing with that damn smirk secure on his face.

"And, from la Boca del Inferno, California," Xander smiled at that, "Weighing in tonight at two-hundred thirty-eight pounds, this is XANDER HARRIS!"

As Xander took off his jacket, a spattering of applause echoed out as the bell rang. It was easily overpowered as a chant broke out.

**FUCK HIM UP, VAN DAM, FUCK HIM UP!!**

Rob took a moment to do his thumb pose to the crowd, and Xander just stood there, knowing that he was doing it to get under his skin. After a few moments of this, Rob realized that he wasn't getting underneath his skin, so he came over and extended his hand. Xander, already realizing what would happen, decided to play along. As expected, Rob took his hand away at the last second.

**WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW! WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW!**

Xander decided that he'd had enough and, when Rob turned around, he launched a swift kick to Rob's knee, follow by a bladed hand to his throat. Rob fell swiftly to the ground, a few precious seconds of oxygen was cut off from his brain. As a result, he was unconscious before he had hit the ground. Xander squatted down and covered Rob, and the ref, as confused as he was, made the count. The crowd watched in stunned silence as the ref, also stunned, lifted Xander's hand in victory.

Rob gained consciousness a few seconds later, lifting himself up slowly as the blood began to rush to his brain. He shook his head to clear the cobwebs, then stared up at Xander.

"What happened," Rob asked, totally confused.

Slowly, the crowd began to become more vocal. He really couldn't understand them, but they sounded like they were in the negative. Before it could get louder, however, Xander reached out for a microphone. Alfonso came up to him, blowing his whistle like a madman, annoying the Hell outta him. Xander stared at him for a moment, but Fonzie wouldn't stop, so, Xander decked him. He noticed that parts of the crowd were clapping now, so he obviously wasn't the only one annoyed by the whistle.

"Well, hello, Mr. Fancy-Pants," he shouted into the mic, squatting down in front of the still recovering Rob Van Dam, "I notice that you came out here acting like an ass, doing that weird thumb thing and calling yourself Mr. Monday Night…first off, you don't have any respect for anyone, and I mean anyone. In a battle, even if your opponent's an overweight eighty year old paraplegic, you assume that they're a master of martial arts or, at the very fuckin' least, that they're armed. It's rookie mistakes like that that get idiots killed."

Everyone there could feel something shift. No one was sure what it was, but they knew that this 'Xander Harris' was more experienced than his age gave away.

"What the Hell," Rob asked, slowly coming to his feet, "Why are you telling me this?"

"Mostly because I've been disrespected before, and I can't tolerate that shit," Xander said, "Now, I'll be honest, I haven't earned respect, at least not everyone's. And, I know that these people paid good money for their match, so, later tonight, after you've recovered, you and I are gonna go…and, when we do, I'd advise you to listen to your theme song. It's 'respect,' and if you don't show respect, you won't 'walk' away."

Xander tossed down the mic, unceremoniously hitting Fonzie with it. As soon as he was backstage, Paul E and Tommy were on top of him.

"What the Hell was that," Tommy shouted, "You were supposed to go out there and wrestle Rob, not knock him out in five seconds! Damn it, I went to bat for you!!"

"I'll handle this, Tommy," Paul got in front of him, "How did you do that?! That was incredible!!"

"What," both Xander and Tommy shouted.

"You knocked out, KNOCKED OUT, ROB VAN DAM IN FIVE SECONDS," Paul said, "That's the shortest match we've ever had! It was fuckin' amazing!!"

"…Is he having a seizure," Xander asked Tommy.

"Maybe," Paul answered, "But, still, this is perfect! Xander offered the fans a match, and it's different now! What happened in there was, like, a teaser for a match! They're out there, and they're wondering what's going to happen now, what's going to happen to Rob now that he's had his ego taken down a peg or eight, how're the fans reacting to you, do they like you, how do they feel about Rob-"

"WE GET IT," Xander shouted, "So, ok, I'm not in trouble and our rematch or real match or whatever is still on?"

"Hell, yeah," Paul said, "I'll throw on a thirty minute time limit on another match and let it fly!"

Paul moved away, talking to himself as he made plans. Xander stayed still, watching Tommy with an apprehensive and, simultaneously, defiant glint in his eyes. Tommy glared at him, raising his finger to obviously start in on him, before he just shouted and walked away, punching a wall as he left.

Xander sighed, turning around and heading back down the hall. He failed to notice the eyes that were following him.


	5. Chapter 5

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

ҖECWҖ

"Earlier tonight, the scheduled bout between Mr. Monday Night, Rob Van Dam, and the newcomer, Xander Harris, came to an abrupt end," Joey Styles was saying as ECW aired, "We'll show you the replay now."

Footage from their earlier encounter came up, showing Xander knocking out Rob with one bladed hand.

"That is, without a doubt, the most amazing thing I've ever seen," Joey said, "And, in a post-match interview, Xander offered a rematch and told Rob to bring his A game…it should prove real interesting what happens now."

_Walk_ started out as Rob Van Dam walked out, a definitively different tune in his step. Instead of the usual, laidback RVD, he was focused and determined, something that put off the crowd, though they still cheered for him._Judgment Day_ came on next, and Xander Harris came out through that curtain, interestingly enough to a decent amount of applause.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this contest is set for one-fall with a twenty minute time limit. Introducing first, from Battle Creek, Michigan, he is the current ECW World Television Champion and World Tag Team Champion, he is Mr. Monday Night, he is…ROB VAN DAM!"

The crowd cheered for him, though Rob didn't do his thumbs pose.

"Apparently, Xander's actions have inspired Rob to tone down as he focuses on the match," Joey said.

"And, from la Boca del Inferno, California, he is XANDER HARRIS!"

The crowd applauded for him, as well.

"Xander's actions have also caused the crowd, or at least some of them, to get behind him," Joey said, "The fans in Philly don't usually get behind anyone this fast, but, Xander's display bought some points. It's obvious, though, that he still has some work to do."

Xander extended his hand, and, after a moment's hesitation, Rob shook the hand. The two backed away as the bell rang, both eyeing the other as they searched for weak points. Slowly, the two came closer, locking up finally as they got to the middle.

**FUCK HIM UP, VAN DAM, FUCK HIM UP!!**

**FUCK HIM UP, XAN-DER, FUCK HIM UP!!**

"Well, the crowd seems divided between the two combatants," Joey said, "We'll see how this works out."

Rob Irish whipped Xander into the ropes, and Rob went for a dropkick. Xander twisted mid-step, coming to Rob's side as he landed, and went for a stiff kick to the chest, which Rob barely avoided, rolling backwards onto his feet. Xander went for a clothesline, but Rob rolled out the way, and as Xander's back was turned, Rob went for another dropkick, which hit Xander square in the back. Xander, however, rolled through with it and did a springboard clothesline, bringing both Rob and himself down to the mat. Both got up at the same time, and Rob went for a head scissors, but Xander ducked and went for an elbow drop, which Rob barely avoided. The two came to a standstill, causing a burst of applause from the audience.

"Holy crap," Joey said, "That was excellent, I had no idea that Xander was capable of that. He must've been training real hard before coming here."

Xander was just going through the motions, letting his instincts take over. It was like he was the passenger, just feeling the pain as his body reacted. It was a weird, but enjoyable sensation.

Slowly, the two locked up again, with Xander getting an armdrag in and sending Rob to the floor. He sent a stiff kick into his shoulder, dropping Rob down to the mat. Xander turned him over and went for a legdrop, but Rob managed to get out the way. Xander stayed down as Rob ran at him, and as he got up, Rob flew at him and clotheslined him to the ground. Rob then went back to the ropes and went for his Rolling Thunder, but Xander got his knees up, causing Rob to fall chest-first onto them. As he rolled away, Xander got to his feet and moved towards the outside of the ring.

**XAN-DER HAR-RIS!! XAN-DER HAR-RIS!!**

Xander ignored the chants as he reached underneath the ring, looking for weapons. He searched around till he found a weapon he was familiar with, a two-by-four. He climbed back into the ring, barely ducking Rob's springboard crossbody. As soon as he was up, Xander swung the piece of wood as hard as he could, but missed as Rob ducked. Instead of slowing down, Xander continued on with the motion, slamming the wood into his back. Xander flipped him onto his back and put the board onto his chest, then used the second rope to lift off into the air and brought himself back down with his hands on the third rope. His intent was to slam his feet into the board onto Rob's chest…

…instead, Rob lifted up the board and crotched Xander, causing him to fall down to the ground, clutching himself in pain. Rob came to his feet.

**WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW!! WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW!!**

Rob Van Dam smiled and did his thumbs pose.

"That was just evil, but good strategy by Rob Van Dam," Joey Styles said, "With that move, Xander is not going to be standing on his feet for a little bit."

Rob was back in his grove, knowing that he now had the upper hand. He went underneath the ring and pulled out a few tables, setting them up as Xander slowly came to his feet. Rob climbed onto the two tables, set up right beside the ring, and waited for Xander to come to his feet. As soon as he did so, Rob used the top rope to flip himself over Xander, then, he did a spin kick to the back of Xander's head, sending him back down to the mat. Rob then went for his split-legged moonsault, only for Xander to lift his leg up to kick him in the chest. Xander rolled away quickly and came to his feet, grabbing the two-by-four to steady himself as he felt the back of his head. He was bleeding, but it was little more than a flesh wound.

Xander stared down at Rob, waiting for him to come to his feet. As soon as Rob was up, Xander motioned for him to settle down.

"That's what I wanted from you, Rob," Xander said, "You're giving as good as you're getting, and that's the fucking truth, if not more. You can be RVD now, man. We did the whole serious thing, now let's have some fun."

Rob stared at him for a moment before smiling and extending his arms with his thumbs up.

"**ROB VAN DAM!!"**

Xander smiled, then gutted him with the two-by-four, sending him down to one knee.

"…HAIL TO THE KING, BABY," Xander shouted at the top of his lungs, then leaned down and said, "Hey, I feel pretty good about this…does that make me a sociopath?"

Rob launched out with his feet, but Xander caught him with his arms and the two-by-four and flipped him back onto his face. Xander tossed the two-by-four away and lifted Rob up. He set him up for a vertical suplex, and threw him over the ropes and through the first table.

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!**

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Xander took a moment to recover his strength, waiting for the ringing to die down.

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

Xander got up on the top rope and measured Rob carefully, waiting till the moment when he'd pulled himself up on the last table. As soon as we was up, Xander launched himself out, feet first in a missile dropkick…

…but, Rob had been playing possum, as he jumped onto the table and countered his dropkick with a spin kick of his own, sending Xander down onto the hard concrete.

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!**

**RVD!! RVD!! RVD!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Rob smiled and did his thumbs pose as he stood up, then walked over to the crowd and motioned for a chair. A fan in the front tossed his chair at him, and Rob walked over to Xander and, as soon as he got up, he threw the chair at him. Xander caught, but took a boot to the face through the chair as RVD did the Van-Daminator.

**WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW!! WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW!!**

"Ladies and Gentlemen," the announcer called out, "There are five minutes remaining in this contest!"

"Well, RVD and Xander have been doing nothing but beating the crap outta each other," Joey Styles said, "Neither of them have even tried to get the pin!"

Rob quickly picked Xander up and threw him into the ring, then covered him.

**ONE…TWO…THR-**

Xander just barely got his shoulder up. Rob came to his feet quickly, and did his thumbs pose.

**ROB…VAN…DAM!!**

He leapt up to the top rope, carefully measuring Xander, and went for the Five-Star Frog Splash. Xander, with a burst of adrenaline that no one saw coming, leapt up to his feet and chopped Rob in the ribs with a bladed hand just as he was coming down. Rob landed painfully on the mat, clutching his ribs and moaning in pain as Xander collapsed back down, holding onto his hand as he tried to shake it loose.

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

"That was incredible," Joey Styles shouted out, "He got up at the last second and took Rob Van Dam out, in mid-air, with a bladed hand to the ribs! And, the crowd loves it!"

Xander wheezed out as he came to his feet, lifting his arms up over his head to get the blood flowing again. As he opened his eyes, he saw the crowd lifting their own arms up in an X symbol, with the hands bladed and connected at the forearm.

_They think it's a pose_, Xander thought to himself, but, he went with it.

"GROOVY," Xander shouted, enjoying himself.

**GROOV-A!! **(that's with an 'A' sound, like in the A Team)

"This kid loves _Army of Darkness_ way too much," Joey commented, "Though, he does look a little like Ash."

Rob came to his feet and went for a spin kick, but Xander ducked and kicked him in the stomach, wrapping his arm around Rob's head as he did so. Xander turned himself around, wanting to get a good look at the crowd, but held onto Rob's head as he did so, causing the back of his head to come up against Xander's shoulder.

When the crowd had reached its peak, Xander pushed himself up, using Rob's body to force himself backwards, and brought himself over Rob, forcing his face down into the mat as he came down.

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Xander quickly covered him.

**ONE…TWO…THR-**

But, Rob managed to kick out just in the nick of time. Xander laid down on the mat, exhausted, and trying to figure out what to do. The majority of his moves were just him going through the motions, using his environment to make progress. Stuff like what he had just done were his own doing, and while he had, at first, found Rob to be annoying, he understood why he did it…it was fun!

Slowly, Xander brought himself to his knees, then ducked down as he evaded the spin kick the Rob had launched at him. Xander rolled away and came to his feet, launching out a kick of his own, which Rob barely evaded, as it was aimed for his rib. Rob went for a clothesline, but Xander ducked it, then went for another chop, which Rob ducked under, running for the ropes. Xander ran for his side's ropes, and the two ran at each other, full speed. Rob tried to use his momentum to do another spin kick, but Xander ducked up and ran into the ropes, heading back to Rob. Rob had just hit the ropes and was bending down to get more velocity, but Xander caught him and caught Rob in a DDT, bringing him down to the mat.

Xander went for the cover, but the bell rang before the ref could start counting.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, after reaching the twenty-minute time limit, the match has been declared a draw! There is no winner!"

Slowly, Xander and Rob came to their feet, to a standing ovation and thunderous applause.

"That was one Hell of a match," Joey Styles said, "Xander may be an _Army of Darkness_ fanatic, but he sure as Hell can wrestle."

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Xander watched on as Rob got two microphones and held one out for him.

"I gotta say, man," Rob started, "That was one Hell of a match. I," he paused for a moment to clutch his side, "I have taken people to the extreme, and have been taken to the extreme before…but, for a guy who's just started out, you took me past the extreme. You, X," Rob abbreviated, "Are the shit, without a doubt!"

"That's X-Man, RVD," Xander said with a grin, "And, I'll be honest with you, this is my first wrestling match. Most of what I did was nothing more than me doing shit I've seen on TV, with some other stuff thrown in there. But, I've been fighting since I was fifteen. Admittedly, that's not that long ago, but considering what I was fighting, it's a miracle I'm alive today."

"Well, what were you fighting that you had to learn those chops?" Rob asked, wincing as he held his side, "I think I'm gonna puke later on."

"You might," Xander said, "And, I was fighting gang members on PCP. My hometown's overrun with them. And you, Rob Van Dam, brought your A game to this fight, and you and me fought for twenty minutes without either of us winning. You gave me the respect that I wanted, and I feel I've earned the rest."

"Without doubt," Rob said, extending his hand as he did so, "Hell of a match."

"Hell of a match," Xander agreed, high-fiving him.

The audience started to cheer again, and Xander and Rob took a moment to soak it all in.

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

"We're gonna hafta have another match soon, man," RVD said, "Ain't no way I'm gonna go on without knowing who'd win!"

"Hell, there's a pay-per-view in three weeks," Xander said, "Heatwave, I think. You and me, no time limits, how's that sound?"

Rob pretended to think about it before saying, "You're on. I'm gonna kick your ass, you know that, right? And, it's cause I'm…

**"****ROB…VAN…DAM!"**

Rob dropped his mic and did his thumbs pose. Xander smiled at him.

"Fine, fine, but, just remember that, in three weeks, you are going to…

**"HAIL TO THE KING!"**

"I've only been here one day, and I've got a signature chant," Xander said with a smile, "We're gonna have a Hell of a match!"

As he dropped the mic, Rob and Xander shook hands.

**WE WANT IT NOW!! WE WANT IT NOW!! WE WANT IT NOW!!**


	6. Chapter 6

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

ҖECWҖ

"You did what," Cordelia shouted into the phone.

"I joined a wrestling promotion in Philly, and won my first match," Xander said into the phone.

"…It's on TV," Cordy said, "What if Buffy catches it?"

"We're not national yet, she'd have to buy the pay-per-views to see me," Xander said, "Besides, it's good money, I just have to work in the arena on our off days and I live in the arena, so no problem with transit."

"So, what, you're gonna be a professional wrestler from now on?" 

"Nah, just till I'm able to move on. I'll have a bus ticket and enough money to buy food for a month or so after this pay-per-view," Xander said, looking up as someone approached him, "Gotta go, Cordy. Looks like my ride to Boston's here. We're doing a show there, then coming back to the arena."

"Well, good luck, Xander," Cordelia said, "Don't get killed…by anything, got me?"

"I got you," Xander said with a smile, "I'll see ya."

He hung up the pay phone just as the person came up to him. To his surprise, it wasn't Tommy or Sandman, but a tall black man dressed in black clothes with a lot of scars on his forehead.

"Hey, man," Xander greeted him, only to get shoved into the wall for his troubles.

"I saw your fight with Rob," the man growled, "Some of that shit was Special Forces tactics…where in the Hell would someone your age learn that?"

"…That's classified," Xander bullshitted, before grabbing the guy's head and bringing it down to his knee.

He backed up a little, only to receive a can of beer to his face, followed by a kick to the balls. He cried out in pain, but refused to go down as the big guy tossed him back into the wall.

"Classified, huh," the man said, "You sure you wanna keep that attitude?"

"NEW JACK," the two looked up as Tommy came upon them, quite obviously pissed off, "What the Hell are you doin'?"

"This boy ain't tellin' you everythin', Dreamer," New Jack said, pointing at Xander, "He's some kinda commando, man."

"What," Tommy said, completely disbelieving, "Damn, man, what the Hell are you on?"

"Lemme ask you this, boy," New Jack said, putting his knee up against Xander's groin, the threat very clear, "You ever heard of 303? The DRI?"

Both phrases struck a cord with Xander, but he couldn't quite tell why. Still, he decided to play it safe and, mustering up every bit of innocence he had, he shook his head.

"Bullshit," it didn't work, "You recognize both those words!"

"Jack, calm the Hell down," Tommy tried to reason with him.

"Tommy," Xander interrupted, "Look…can you give me and 'New Jack' a minute here?" 

"What," Tommy demanded.

"It's nothing personal, it's government related," Xander said quietly, hoping to convey the meaning of his words.

Tommy stared at him for a moment before saying, "It's about vampires, isn't it?"

Jack let him go, staring at Tommy as he did so.

"…Jack, who's your ride for the Boston show," Xander asked.

"Nobody," Jack said, still eyeing both him and Tommy.

"Why don't you ride with us," Xander asked.

"…Yeah, ok," Jack said.

ҖECWҖ

Jack and Xander sat in the back as Tommy drove them away from the Arena. He needed to pick up his girlfriend, so the three were talking as he drove.

"DRI stands for Demon Research Initiative," New Jack was telling them, "How I came about it, well…that's somethin' I ain't ever gonna tell anyone."

"I was possessed by a soldier from Vietnam," Xander said, "He was a member of that group. That match I had with Rob…for the most part, I just let the soldier do the work, followed his instincts."

"Well, that explains that," New Jack said, "That chop to the neck was so skillfully done I was honestly worried that you'd killed him."

"So, how'd you learn about vampires, Jack," Tommy asked.

"Back when I was a bounty hunter, I ran into a few," Jack said, "You?"

"Xander," Tommy said, "Saved my ass from a vamp the night I brought him in."

"And, how did you get involved in this shit," Jack asked.

"Turned my brother," Xander stated, "Staked him."

"Sucks," Jack said casually as Tommy pulled up to his house.

Tommy opened up the door, allowing his girl to sit down. Xander forced himself not to stare as she sat down, she was freakin' hot!

"Hey, Tommy," she greeted him before kissing him, then she turned around, "Hey, Jack…who's this?"

"Xander Harris," he extended his hand, which she took, "Nice to meet you…"

"Beulah McGillicutty," she responded, "You look a little young to be here."

"No younger than I was," Tommy stuck up for him.

"Well, you're insane," Beulah said with a grin, "So, Xander, what's your story?"

Xander stared at Tommy for a moment. Tommy sighed, but nodded, wanting his girl to have a chance.

"It's a damn good thing this is a long ride," Xander said, leaning back in his seat, "This is a long story, and you'll probably be wanting a large amount of liquor afterwards."

"Which we got in good supply," Jack said, pulling out a formerly hidden bottle of vodka.

"My own personal Jebus," Xander said, quoting Homer Simpson, "Hook me up, Jack!"

ҖECWҖ

A/N: For the record, I can't remember when Beulah got her neck broken, so, I'm just sayin' it hasn't happened yet.


	7. Chapter 7

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

ҖECWҖ

Xander sat down outside the convention center, leaning against the stone wall as he did so. Tonight hadn't gone by that bad; he'd had a short match against Tony Mamaluke, mostly because he'd turned the interference by Big Guido against him, pushing Mamaluke into the bastard's punch. Three seconds later, that was all she wrote.

Then, someone had come out to greet him.

FLASHBACK:

Xander breathed heavily, wiping the sweat away with his _Monty Python Black Knight_ T-shirt. The fans were deafening, as they were quite happy with the short, but energetic match.

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

He'd easily gained notoriety by acting like Ash, as the fans enjoyed his lively attitude and showy nature. While it went against his character to do so, RVD had pulled it out of him during their match. At first, he had been offended, but, now he saw that he was just having fun.

Before he could go backstage, however, as _Perfect Strangers_ by _Deep Purple_ played as a chorus of boos and cheers came out. He turned to the ramp, watching as four people came out to him. He recognized the first one as the ECW World Champion, Shane Douglas, with Francine by his side. That meant that the other two were Chris Candido and Bam Bam Bigelow.

_Dear God, Bam Bam lives up to his name_, Xander thought.

"Cut the fucking music," Douglas shouted into the mic, "Well, well, if it isn't the hottest thing to hit wrestling since the Franchise himself, Xander 'the X-man' Harris!"

Xander stared at him, silently motioning him to get on with it.

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

"Shut up," Douglas yelled, "The only king around here in ECW is me, the Franchise Shane Douglas!"

The fans booed and cheered for him for a moment, before Douglas just got tired of it and continued.

"I'm not out here to get into a fight, I'm out here to discuss business," Douglas said, "Listen up, Harris, you had a Hell of a match against RVD, and I mean that. It made the Franchise sit up and take notice, and that's something in itself."

The fans cheered for a moment before he got on with it.

"I'm out here to offer you a proposition," Xander just rotated his hands, telling him to hurry up, "If you beat Rob Van Dam at Heatwave, there's a spot open for you in the Triple Threat!"

Xander stared at him as the crowd burst. Douglas had a reputation for betrayal, as he'd betrayed the NWA to start up ECW, and he knew that this offer was more of an incentive to keep him outta the world title picture. Sighing, he turned around and grabbed the nearby steel chair, making all four of them tense up.

Instead, Xander unfolded the chair and sat down, staring up at Douglas. He leaned down and picked up another mic, ready to respond.

"You have my attention," Xander said, "Win me…make me your brother."

The crowd roared out, in either negative or positive, he couldn't tell. He just knew that Douglas was completely flummoxed by his actions.

"…Alright, I can see you're a reasonable man," Douglas said, trying to get his wits about him, "If you beat RVD, you'll be a contender for the TV title…if you accept our offer, we will do everything we can to make sure you bring home that title!"

Douglas looked down on him expectantly.

"…And," Xander said, his meaning clear.

Douglas was positively perplexed now, so he turned to his other Triple Threat members, wondering what else could be offered. Unfortunately, that was exactly what he'd been hoping for. In one swift move, he had flung the chair out from under him and into the back of Douglas's head. Using the ropes to speed up his momentum, he clotheslined Candido to the floor, then did the same thing with the other ropes, only he slid under Bam Bam to do so. When Bam Bam turned, Xander kicked him in the gonads and DDTed him to the floor.

**FUCK 'EM UP, X-MAN, FUCK 'EM UP!!**

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Xander smiled as the crowd cheered for him. He was probably just asking for a war here, but, he was downright insulted that the four thought they could bully him into their group. He picked up his chair and waited till Douglas was up, then, threw it at him. Douglas caught it, of course, just like Xander had wanted. Xander used all his strength and launched a powerful punch into the chair, which forced the chair back into Douglas's head, knocking him out cold.

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Xander shook his hand for a moment, getting the blood flow back, then turned to Francine, who was staring at him with something that was not quite fear, but close enough. Feeling a little promiscuous, Xander quickly grabbed her up and dipped her.

"Gimme some sugar, Baby," he said, then gave her a long, wet kiss.

Francine resisted him for a moment, but then started to respond in kind, grabbing his shirt as she did so. The fans, at this point, were out of their seats, cheering him on like madmen/women.

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

Xander flipped her back onto her feet, where she woozily tried to steady herself. Xander raised his hand up, still holding onto her.

"GROOVY," he shouted at the top of his lungs.

**GROOV-A!!**

Xander walked out of the ring after that, leaving Francine behind to try and wake up the Triple Threat, though she was too busy looking at Xander's backside to do so.

END FLASHBACK

Xander smiled as he walked off towards the cemetery, knowing that that was a classic moment in his life. It was beyond worth it, though, knowing that the Triple Threat would try to make him pay for it. He decided that he would kill his adrenaline high by staking some vampires, followed by a night of drinking with New Jack, Sandman, Spike, Tommy, and Beulah.

As he entered the graveyard, however, he came upon a shockingly familiar sight: a girl, running from three vampires as fast as she could. Xander raced off, pulling out two stakes as he did so. He quickly caught up to the last vampire and, thankfully, it was so invested in the chase that he managed to drag it down to the ground and stake it without much fuss. Unfortunately, the second vampire was more alert and, upon hearing the sound, turned around and raced at him.

He waited till the exact right time before driving a high knee into its chest and using his arms to flip it over. As soon as it hit the ground, Xander staked it, once more without much fuss. He quickly continued his pursuit, but came to a stop as he saw what was happening.

The girl had started to fight the vamp, to the point where the vamp was actually on the ground, trying to stay alive. This meant one of two things: the vamp got sloppy or…

Xander ran as fast as he could, arriving just in time to see the girl stake the vampire, which almost looked grateful for it. She looked up at him and entered a defensive stance, obviously wondering if he was a threat. Xander held his arms up in a non-threatening manner.

"It's ok," he said, "I'm on your side."

The girl stared at him, looking as though she was running on fumes. Slowly, Xander bent down and relinquished his stakes to the ground.

"See," he said calmly, "I'm unarmed, I can't hurt you."

The girl didn't let her guard down. She stared at him, wanting him to make the first move.

"My name is Xander," he said cautiously, slowly edging towards her, "I'm here to help you."

That seemed to get a response from her. She let down her guard, just enough to let him know that she was listening to him. For the first time, he got a real good look at her. She was covered in scars, with ripped clothes and a wild look in her eyes.

"Dear God," he said, "What happened to you?"

She stared at him, then, it seemed like she just collapsed into herself, dropping both her weapons. Slowly, he came to her, and she wrapped her arms around him, sobbing into his chest.

ҖECWҖ

"She's suffered a severe trauma," the doctor was telling him later on, "It looks like she was attacked by wild animals."

"Who is she," Xander asked.

"Her name is Faith," the doctor told him, figuring that this young man deserved that much, "She's requested that you join her when the nurses finish cleaning her up."

"Oh, thank you, doc," Xander said.

Before any more words could be exchanged, a large number of people stormed through the doors, with a stretcher in front being pushed through by two paramedics.

"What's going on here," the doctor inquired.

"She's suffered a broken neck and trauma to the head," the paramedic said.

"Prep the OR," the doctor said, taking the stretcher down the way.

Xander turned around and received a shock as Tommy Dreamer, being supported by the Sandman and Spike, came up.

"What the fuck happened," Xander asked.

"Beulah," Tommy sobbed, "They…the Dudleys…"

"They did that," Xander asked.

"Yeah," Sandman said, he was bleeding from the head, still holding a beer in his other hand.

"Come on," Xander said, taking Tommy off his hands, "Get yourself checked out."

"Thanks, kid," Sandman said, walking over to the register's desk.

"No offense, Spike," Xander said, "But, I'm really starting to hate your brothers."

"You and me, both, X," Spike said, "You and me both. Oh, and what you did to Francine…classic."


	8. Chapter 8

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

A/N: Cordy and Xander did break up in the first chapter when she let him go. I went back and found that that portion of their conversation was missing, so the computer messed up. Sorry, everybody.

ҖECWҖ

Xander read quietly as he waited for Faith to wake up. She had fallen asleep shortly after the nurses finished with her. By random occurrence, Beulah had been put in the bed beside her after her surgery. Tommy and Spike were both by her bed, with Tommy sleeping on her, her hand held firmly in his own. Spike was reading a magazine, trying to keep his eyes open in case his brothers came to finish the job.

"You okay, man," Xander asked Spike quietly.

"Yeah," Spike said, "Just pissed that my damn brothers would do something like this."

"I know what you mean," Xander said, remembering the day he'd been kicked outta Sunnydale.

"Tommy is going to beat the shit outta them," Spike said, "They've really gone too far this time."

"Two weeks, man," Xander said, "In two weeks, you, Tommy, and Sandman are gonna fuck 'em up real good."

"You bet your ass we will," Tommy startled them both as he sat up, "Ugh, what time is it?"

"A little after one," Xander said, "Keep quiet, Faith might wake up."

"Who is she," Tommy asked.

"Ran into her in the cemetery," Xander said, "She got fucked up by some gangsters that act like vampires."

"…Oh," Tommy said, understanding alight in his eyes.

"What," Spike asked.

"…It's up to you," Xander said to Tommy.

Tommy thought about it for a moment, then sighed and said, "Look after her?"

Xander nodded.

"Kay," Tommy stood up, "Come on, Spike, we need to have a talk."

"Man," Xander said as they walked away, "Everyone in ECW is going to know about vamps sooner or later."

"What's ECW," he looked down as Faith apparently came out of her morphine-induced sleep. She hadn't needed it, but, he figured she could use the break.

"Extreme Championship Wrestling," Xander said, "Small wrestling promotion based outta Philly."

"Are all of you vampire hunters," Faith asked, shifting in her bed, it'd been a while since she'd had a warm one.

"We might as well be, considering how many people are finding out about it," Xander said with a sigh, "Name's Xander, Xander Harris."

He extended his hand and Faith, after a moment's worth of hesitation, took it.

"Faith Lehane," she said, "So, how long've you been hunting vampires?"

"Since I met the Slayer," Xander said, smiling down on her.

"…You know about the Slayer," she asked carefully.

"Sure," he said, "Well, technically, it's 'a' Slayer, isn't it," he said, trying to be as non-threatening as possible.

"…Was it that obvious?" she asked, giving up the charade.

"Pretty much," Xander said, "Though, you being able to beat the crap outta that vampire didn't give me a clue at all."

She chuckled at him, then sat up in her bed.

"Whoa, where're you going?" he asked.

"Away," she said, coming to her feet before stumbling and falling into Xander, "I'm not safe here."

"What's after you," he asked, "Maybe I can help?"

"Not unless you can keep me safe from a master," she said.

Xander stared at her for a moment.

"Can you," she demanded.

"…Probably not," he said, before sighing, "Look, there are two things I can do…I can buy you a ticket to Sunnydale, where you stick it out with Buffy, or…you can try to get Paul E to let you join up."

"…You sound like you don't know about either one," she said.

"This isn't ECW's war," he said quietly, "Tommy, Paul, Beulah, Jack, Spike…none of them should've ever learned about this."

"…What's Buffy like," Faith asked, wanting to take his mind off it.

ҖECWҖ

"Wow," Spike said, "Vampires are real…my God."

"Yeah," Tommy said, sipping his coke, "Demons, too. It's a real trip."

"Hey, Tommy," the two looked over as Sandman walked over to them, beer in hand and cane tucked under his arm, "Spike, how is she?"

"She's sleeping," Tommy said, "Surgery went well, but she may never wrestle again."

"Damn, that sucks," Sandman said, taking a swig from his can, "How 'bout you guys? Spike, looks like you haven't slept since this started."

"I haven't," Spike said, wiping his eyes, "I've been on guard duty."

"Well, you can spend the rest of the day sleeping," Sandman said, "I'm here to take over for ya."

"Thanks," Spike said, "I don't think I can sleep tonight, anyway. Not after what Tommy just got through tellin' me."

"Damn," Sandman said, "What'd you tell him?"

Tommy and Spike shared a look before Tommy turned back to him.

"Do you believe in vampires?"

Sandman stared at the two for a moment before sighing and taking another big gulp from his beer.

"Alright," he said, "Who told you?" 

"Huh," Tommy and Spike both replied.

"You know?" Tommy asked.

"You think I could possibly go bar hopping without running into some vampires," Sandman said, laughing as he did so, "C'mon, you're both smarter than that."

"…So, you know about demons," Sandman nodded, "Xander saved me from one a week or so ago. I just introduced Spike to this."

"How many people know?" Sandman asked.

"You, me, Beulah, New Jack, Spike, Xander, and Paul," Tommy said, "And, probably that girl in the room with Beulah."

"Girl," Sandman walked inside, followed closely by Spike and Tommy.

"Oh, my God," Faith was laughing at him, "You're telling me he actually did the complete stalker thing?"

"I know, what a dumbass," Xander said, laughing with her, "One time, he showed up in the hospital when she was sick, with flowers!"

Faith started to laugh even more, coming to the point where she was struggling to breathe.

"Get a room," Sandman said, walking over to the two and sitting down, putting his legs up against Beulah's bed.

"We got one, Sandman," Xander responded, "Can I get one of those?"

Sandman reached into his pocket and pulled out a beer, then tossed it to Xander.

"Thanks," Xander said, taking a big gulp from it.

"Can I get some of that," Faith asked.

"Nah," Xander responded, "Might do something to you since you're medicated."

"It'd only make me feel a Hell of a lot better," Faith replied.

"…Point," Xander said, turning to Sandman as he did so.

"What do I look like, a fuckin' brewery," Sandman said, taking a drink.

"Yes," everyone, save Faith and Beulah, said.

"Assholes," Sandman muttered, "You can get one with your own damn money."

"You don't look like a brewery to me," Faith said in a sultry voice, "Matter of fact, you look good with a big…stick," she accentuated the word 'stick,' putting a sexy tone on it.

"Nice try, kid," Sandman said, smiling at her, "But, I've been in the bar scene for a long time, and that 'you're my big daddy smirk' does nothin' for me."

Faith mock glared at him for a moment, then scoffed and leaned back in her bed.

"Man, X," she said, "A girl gets attacked by wild dogs, and they won't even spare her a drink. Some friends."

"I thought she got attacked by vampires," Spike said, confused.

Faith stared at him for a moment before turning to Xander.

"I told you they knew," Xander said, "Though, I didn't know you knew, Sandman."

"I knew long ago, kid," Sandman said, "She a Slayer?"

"You know about Slayers," Faith was beside herself, "My Watcher said we were supposed to be secrets, superheroes and the like."

"I've known two Slayers in my time, three including you," Sandman said, "All the ones that I've met were drones, acted like slaves to their Watcher."

"That's the way Kendra, your predecessor was," Xander said, "Buffy's different, though. She's completely full of herself. All high and mighty."

"High and mighty," they looked up as Rob Van Dam entered the room, "You must be talkin' 'bout me."

"Nah, we're talking about someone else with an ego bigger than Bill Clinton's libido," Xander remarked, shaking Rob's hand as he did so, "What's up, Mr. Monday Night?"

"Heard you were in the hospital, so I came to check up on you," Rob said, "I was afraid you might not make the match at Heatwave, but seein' as how you're alright…hello."

Rob walked over to Faith, smiling as he did so.

"And who are you," Rob asked, "You can't be X's girlfriend, can you?"

"No, I'm not," Faith said, not sure how to take Rob, "Name's Faith."

"My, now that's a beautiful name," Rob said, taking her hand and kissing it, "My name's Rob Van Dam."

"I noticed," Faith said, still not sure about how to take him, but warming up to him, "…What's that smell? It's making me dizzy."

Everyone except her started to crack up.


	9. Chapter 9

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

ҖECWҖ

"So, this is the arena," Faith said, staring at it from the Eagle's Nest, "It's nice…in a sweatbox kinda way."

"Never said it was a paradise," Xander said, "So…what happened?"

Faith stared at him for a moment, then sighed, deciding that she at least owed him that.

"I'd been fighting a master named Kakistos," Faith said, "He's this real old vamp, so old that his hands and feet are deformed. One night, he caught me and my Watcher…"

She began to tear up as she continued. Xander wrapped an arm around her, and she leaned into him, so overcome with emotion that she was willing to drop her barriers.

"I slashed his face up and ran like Hell," she said, "He sent three vamps after me…that's when you found me. Lynda…"

He shushed her, lending her whatever strength he could, "You did the right thing…you lived."

ҖECWҖ

"So, all of you know," Paul E was beside himself. What had started out as a secret between a select group of people had rapidly become common knowledge, or was, at least, starting to.

"Yeah, we know," New Jack said, "The bigger question is, what're we gonna do 'bout it?"

"We can't start some kinda war against them," Sandman said, "We fight each other for a living, we can't fight demons as a hobby."

"He's right," Tommy said, "We need to be talking about the situation with Faith, and whether or not we should tell anyone else."

"Alright, so, this Faith girl is some kinda superhero," Paul said, "And, she's on the run from a very powerful vampire…why are we going to keep her around?"

"She has nowhere to go, and she might die if we leave her on her own," Spike said.

"If she stays here, we might get invaded by vampires and die," Paul countered, "Or, worse, what if he sends vamps here on a performance night. Think of how many people might be killed."

"Oh, I think we can avoid that," everyone turned around at the voice.

Standing in the locker room doorway was a black man in an immaculate suit, with a sleazy smile on his face. Sandman and New Jack stiffened up as they realized what he was, and Jack wasted no time in breaking his chair and pulling up one of the pieces to use as a weapon.

"Calm down, good buddies," the vampire slinked around them, "I'm not here to fight…I'm here to bargain."

"Get Xander and Faith," Tommy whispered to Spike, who nodded and headed off.

"Bargain," Paul asked, a careful note in his voice, "Why would a vampire need to bargain?"

"You see, it has come to my master's attention that Faith is currently siding with Extreme Championship Wrestling," the vamp said, "Now, any attempt by my master to come and collect her could lead to the…revealing of our race to the world at large. I'm sure you could see what kind of a problem that'd be."

"Trick," Faith snarled as she entered the room, "What the Hell are you doing here? Where's that bastard, Kakistos?!"

"He sends his love and deepest sympathy in regards to Lynda," Trick said with a smile, "He also said that she died begging for your life."

Faith charged at him, only to be intercepted by both Tommy and Xander.

"What are you offering," Paul demanded.

"You have a pay-per-view in a few weeks," Trick said, "My master has worked out a deal with a law firm and the PPV company where Faith shall battle Kakistos in the arena after it has been emptied of all homo sapiens," he spat the last word out.

"Wait," Paul interrupted, "The PPV company? Why're they involved?"

"The agreement," Trick said, "Is that they will air that portion of the PPV to demon bars that request it. Also, vampires and demons will filter in after your humans have left and be the audience for that portion of your show."

"What's to stop them from attacking Faith," Paul demanded.

"Wolfram and Hart have drawn up papers for each being to agree to a non-violence clause, under penalty of mutilation and disemboweling for forty years," Trick said, "Standard clauses of nondisclosure are included, of course."

"…What would the rules be for the match," Xander asked, already disliking this idea.

"The stipulations would be that Faith would only win by killing Kakistos," Trick said, "And Kakistos would win by draining her. Other than that, no member of ECW or Kakistos's clan can interfere."

"Out of the question," Xander said, then he turned to Faith, "You don't have to take him on all by yourself. We can attack him on his own turf!"

"He has dozens of minions, we'd never make it," Faith said, "…I agree."

"Excellent," Trick said with a smile, "The tickets to the event have already had several buyers, such as Archduke Sabasis, Holland Manners, William the Bloody."

"How much are these tickets going for," Paul asked, his mind racing with thoughts.

"About two thousand a piece," Trick said nonchalantly, "For right now, there are about seven thousand bars and clubs across the nation that have begged for the PPV. There are talks of collaboration between several PPV companies overseas to distribute it worldwide. Wolfram and Hart, of course, want a percentage of the profits, about twenty percent."

Paul was speechless. While he was happy that ECW was getting this international platform, he didn't want to even consider sacrificing Faith.

"Paul," Xander called out, "You can't be seriously considering this?"

"X, I need to take him out," Faith said, "In any other fight, his bastards would knock me on my ass more often than he would. This way, it's one-on-one and it's safer."

"…If you get in too much trouble," Xander said, "I'm gonna chop his head off, consequences be damned."

Faith stared up at him, touched that he would go that far to keep her safe. Buffy was a fool to not let him help. He was self-sacrificing, more than capable in battle, and had a willingness to help that she had never seen before. Faith smiled up at Xander for a moment before turning to Paul and nodding.

"…We got a deal," Paul said, feeling as though he had made a pact with the devil…and it wasn't a stretch.


	10. Chapter 10

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

ҖECWҖ

Xander watched from the Eagle's Nest as New Jack trained with Faith. There was a show tonight, but it wasn't for another few hours. Paul E had organized a match between three feuds, in a sense. Xander, Tommy Dreamer, and Spike were teaming up to take on Bam Bam Bigelow, D-Von Dudley, and Chris Candido. Paul offered the match to RVD, but he was taking on Sabu in a bit of a grudge match. Apparently, the Triple Threat were after him, now, but, he didn't give a damn.

"Hey," he looked up as Tommy sat down beside him, "How're you holding up?" 

"With the match, good," Xander said, "But, we both know that's not what you're talking about."

"Faith is taking on Kakistos in a lethal match for vengeance and for the entertainment of beings that I only just learned existed," Tommy said, "I find this so surreal…"

"You need to be thinkin' about Beulah," Xander said, "I have no doubts in Faith."

"I've been wondering," Tommy said, "This 'Wolfram and Hart' law firm…they developed a contract that endorses torture if it is broken. It makes no sense."

"I know," Xander said, "The only conclusions I can draw aren't good ones."

"…This sucks," Tommy said, "I'm so scared…we're going to host monsters in a PPV…can you imagine what kind of doors this is going to open? It's like Pandora's Box."

"…There's a demonic gladiator group that operates outside of Jersey," Xander said, "I went to one of their shows once, just to do some surveillance…they do it to the death, but a few of them prefer knockout."

"You aren't saying," Tommy asked, "…They might want to join?" 

"Imagine it," Xander said, "Demons in ECW."

"…I think Paul's going to have fun with this," Tommy said with a smile.

ҖECWҖ

"Hey, Faith," Rob greeted her outside the arena, "Aren't you going to go and watch Xander's match?"

"I'll be inside soon," Faith said, "Are you going to watch their match?"

"Of course, so long as Sabu doesn't fuck me up too much," Rob said with a grin, "You and him seem pretty tight."

"We are," Faith said, "But, not that tight."

Faith was feeling that itch that made her wanna find some stud and take him to bed. The only problem was that she was scared…she was thinking of Lynda, and what that bastard had done to her. Rob was a good guy, in great shape, and she didn't even wanna wrap her mind around what a guy who could do a leg split was capable of in bed (well, not unless she had a free night). It was fairly obvious that he wanted her, but, she didn't do relationships.

Besides, there was Xander. While the two weren't in any way an item, she knew that he was willing to give up his life for her…and she'd just met him. Unlike Rob, he was aware of vamps and had chosen to fight them all his own. She was scared that…if she did anything to piss him off, like sleep with Rob, that he would ditch her…maybe that was why he'd offered to help her…because he was looking for a fuck and found a way to try and manipulate her into bed.

Still, she refused to just write him off as a sleaze. Lynda had always tried to get her to slow down with men, and had tried to convince her that there were good men out there. Sure, it was a long shot, but she was determined to give him the benefit of the doubt…she owed both Lynda and him that much.

"Yoo-hoo," Rob waved a hand in front of her, "You alright in there?"

"Yeah," Faith said, grinning at him, "I'm good."

"You look stressed," Rob said, reaching into his pocket and pulling something out, "Here. Help you relax."

Faith stared at the joint in his hand, then smiled at him.

"Sorry," she said to him, "Tried that once. Didn't enjoy it."

Truth was, her Slayer abilities pretty much made it towards where she had to smoke at least ten joints to feel anything.

"Oh, well," Rob shook it off, "You ever need anything, Faith, you just call me."

"No prob, Rob," she quipped.

ҖECWҖ

_Perfect Strangers_ by _Deep Purple_ played out as Chris Candido and Bam Bam Bigelow came out, with D-Von right behind them. Not too far behind was Shane Douglas, with his head cheerleader, Francine, right beside him.

Next, _Highway to Hell_ by _AC/DC_ played as Spike Dudley made his entrance, staying near the first guardrail as he waited on his partners.

**SPIKE! SPIKE! SPIKE!**

Judgment Day by Van Halen came on as Xander came out, dressed in his usual jeans and jacket, this time with a ripped up Flash Gordon T-shirt on. 

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

Francine flashed a quick smile and wink to Xander as _Man in the Box_ by _Alice in Chains_ came on, signaling Tommy Dreamer's entrance. Tommy glared up at D-Von as the music cut off.

**TOMMY DREAMER!! TOMMY DREAMER!!**

"Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing first, they are members of the Triple Threat along with the Franchise, Shane Douglas and Francine, from Asbury Park and Spring Lake, New Jersey, Chris Candido and the Beast from the East, Bam Bam Bigelow! And, from the South side of Dudleyville, D-von Dudley!"

The fans booed mercilessly, mostly because of the Dudleys' actions.

"Introducing next, from Dudleyville, he is the Giant Killer, Little Spike Dudley!"

The fans cheered wildly for him.

"From Yonkers, New York, he is the Innovator of Violence, Tommy Dreamer!"

The fans cheered even more for him.

"And, from la Boca del Inferno, California, he is the Hardcore King of Extreme, Xander Harris!"

How the Hell did I get that name, Xander wondered. 

The fans cheered for him at a level that was equal to, or a little less than, Tommy Dreamer. The bell ran, and the three huddled up.

"Spike, you take on Bam Bam," Tommy suggested, "Xander, Candido's all yours. I have D-von."

They turned back, and saw that Bam Bam was up first, so Spike came up, ready to go.

"Are you sure Spike can handle Bam Bam," Xander asked, scared for his friend.

"Yeah," Tommy said simply, filled with confidence.

He heard a slam and turned back to see Spike do a whisper in the wind to Bam Bam, who fell to the ground. He followed up with a foot stomp that made Xander cringe.

"Holy crap," Xander said.

**SPIKE!! SPIKE!! SPIKE!! SPIKE!!**

For the next few minutes, Spike traded blows with Bam Bam till he tagged in Candido, which led to Xander being tagged in. Candido went for a clothesline, but Xander avoided the arm and got a sleeper hold on, but only managed to drag him down to the mat. Xander got a legdrop on Candido, and quickly came to his feet. Candido came up a moment later, meeting a stiff bladed hand to his ribcage. Candido collapsed to his knee, quivering in pain; Xander followed up with a kick to the shoulder, flooring Candido. Xander pulled him up and snapmared him, then ran to the ropes on the other side and did a dropkick to the back of his head.

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

Xander Irish whipped Candido to the other side and clotheslined him to the floor. Xander walked back over to his side, dragging Candido with him, and had Tommy get on the top rope. Xander lifted Candido up and Tommy got him into a fireman's carry, then did the Spicolli Driver from the top rope. Bam Bam and D-von got into the ring and charged the two, but Xander took D-von down with a bladed hand to the chest as Spike crossbodied Bam Bam to the floor.

Xander took the opportunity to go outside the ring and start fishing around for weapons. He pulled out two tables and a garbage can, but got pissed off when he couldn't find anything to swing. Sighing, he tossed the garbage can up to Tommy, and began to set up the tables. Once he got them double-stacked, he turned to the crowd.

"GIMME A WEAPON," he shouted out.

The people in the first row all offered him their chairs, but one person in the third row caught his attention. It was a pool stick, which he grabbed up. He set it down and grabbed one of the offered chairs and set it up. He stood on it with one foot on the chair and the other on the guardrail.

"THIS," he shouted, "IS MY BOOMSTICK!!"

**BOOMSTICK!! BOOMSTICK!! BOOMSTICK!!**

Xander turned around and smacked D-von, who had been sneaking up behind him, breaking the stick in half. He took the shorter end and hit him in the stomach, then DDTed him to the floor.

As he got up, he heard a table break. He looked up into the ring and saw that Bam Bam had thrown Spike through the table, putting him outta the fight for the moment. Tommy came up behind him and hit him with a stop sign. Then, he saw Buh Buh Ray and Big Dick Dudley come running out. He hit Buh Buh with his stick, but it did nothing more than piss the big man off. Buh Buh grabbed him up and did a fireman's carry slam onto the floor, causing Xander quite a bit of pain.

**BUH BUH SUCKS DICK!! BUH BUH SUCKS DICK!!**

With Bam Bam, Candido, Big Dick, Buh Buh, and D-von working together, it wasn't long before they had Tommy, Xander, and Spike all laid out. Just as Buh Buh and D-von were about to 3D Xander, Faith ran out and punched D-von, laying him out.

**HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!**

The ECW crowd was beyond confused and surprised by that, but they were still happy about it. Buh Buh stared down at Faith before running at her, trying to get a clothesline. Faith ducked it then did a roundhouse to Buh Buh…who, surprisingly, was able to go toe-to-toe with her.

"Damn, big boy," she said, "What the Hell are you on?"

Slowly, the good guys started to make a comeback, as Tommy DDTed Candido and Spike did his Acid Drop on Bam Bam…that all changed once Douglas got in, using his crutches to knock the crap outta everyone but Faith. Xander was somehow left alone, bleeding from his forehead in the corner when, to his surprise, Francine squatted in front him.

"Hey, honey," she said to him with a smile, "You know, you could probably take on any one of these guys in a singles match…Hell, you might even be able to take Shane's title from him…you might be able to beat Taz."

"What's your point," Xander asked, using the time to collect himself.

"How would you like all of," she groped herself, "This. All you gotta do…is win the belt."

"You're a whore," Xander said.

"You didn't seem to think so last week," Francine puckered up her lips, blowing him a kiss.

Unable to resist, he said, "Honey…you got real ugly."

Francine frowned at him, then slapped him across the face. Before more could be done, however, Faith pulled her off him.

"Oh, boy," Joey Styles was saying, "We might have a situation."

Faith and Francine squared off for a moment, going back and forth with the talk, before Francine slapped her across the face. Faith snarled at her, then tackled her in rage.

"CAAATTTFIIIIGHTTT!!! CAAATTTFIIIIGHTTT," Styles was so loud that even Xander could hear him.

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Then, everything went quiet as the beginning of _Enter Sandman_ by _Metallica_ played out.

**SANDMAN!! SANDMAN!! SANDMAN!!**

Xander stood up as the Triple Threat and the Dudleys backed away from the ring, with Tommy, Spike, and Faith standing across from them. Xander came to his feet, with Faith helping him up. Sandman joined them in the ring, smoking his cigarette with his cane and beer in hand. Sandman took a swig from his beer and bashed his head with the can, then spat it out directly into Douglas's face.

As the song came to an end, Sandman lifted his cane up, Tommy did his crucifix pose, and Xander did his 'X' pose, with Faith and Spike in the front, daring them to try it again.


	11. Chapter 11

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

ҖECWҖ

"Tomorrow is Heatwave," Sandman said, "Are you ready for it?"

"No," Faith said, leaning into the couch, "I'm scared to death."

"You should be," Sandman said, "You gotta take on a big ass vampire…you must be going outta your mind."

"I am," Faith said, drinking her beer whole heartedly as she did so, "Still, I'm looking forward to kicking his undead ass."

"…That's not all that's on your mind," Sandman looked at her, "Is it?"

"…Nah," Faith admitted, "On the one hand, there's Rob, who's this laid back, cool guy…on the other hand, there's Xander, the guy that rescued me. I think both want me, or at least, I know Rob does. I got an itch that needs scratching, ya know." 

"Ah, shut up," Sandman said, "I was talking about Francine offering herself to Xander, not you, him, and Rob…that's too much fuckin' information."

Faith spat out her beer as she laughed.

"What," Sandman asked.

"…Too…much…_fuckin'_ information," Faith said, "Kinda right on the nose there!"

Sandman started to laugh as he got it.

"Oh, well," Sandman said, "Guess I need to get used to it sooner rather than later. I got three kids, my daughter's about eleven now. It scares the shit outta me to think that she'll be a teenager so soon."

"Wow," Faith said, "I didn't think of you as a family man."

"Oh, you have no idea," Sandman said, "Back in the old days, when Raven was here, he kidnapped my kid, Tyler, and brainwashed him into thinkin' that he was his father instead of me."

"That sucks," Faith said, genuinely sorry for him.

"Oh, that's nothing," Sandman said, "Raven actually crucified me, the bastard. That's the first time we've ever had anything happen Paul E refused to air. Hell, when that happened, Paul E actually made Raven come out and apologize for it. Granted, Raven did a half-ass job of it, but to even get Raven to do that was a miracle in itself."

"…You want my opinion," Sandman said, leaning further into the couch to meet her gaze, "You should pick the one that's best for you. Don't get me wrong, I am not a stickler when it comes to women, and I don't think you are, either."

"Well, I have had occasional three-way, but I mostly stick to the stick," Faith said.

"Ok, first off," Sandman said, "That's fuckin' hot. Secondly, you know damn well what I meant."

"Sorry," Faith said, taking another sip from her beer, "Besides, I need to slow down when it comes to men. It was something Lynda asked me to do."

"…You miss her," it wasn't a question.

"…Yeah," she said, "So…which one do I choose."

"I can't tell you that," Sandman said, standing up, "Just ask yourself this…which one can you actually stand having breakfast with?"

"…I haven't had breakfast with either of them," Faith said.

"Well, maybe you should," Sandman said, "Without the night before."

Sandman turned around and began to walk away, only to turn back around.

"Hey, Faith," he raised his beer in a toast, "To Lynda…"

"…To Lynda," Faith took a big drink from her beer.

ҖECWҖ

Xander walked up to the cash register with a case of beer in hand and a cigarette on top of it.

"Hey," the kid at the register greeted him, "I know you…yeah, you're Xander Harris from ECW!"

"Guilty as charged," Xander responded.

"Hey, Marv," the kid called to someone in the back, "Marv, come and look at this."

"What is it," an old balding man came from around the corner, "Someone complaining at this hour?"

"No, Marv, look," the kid pointed at him, "It's Xander Harris, ECW's Hardcore King of Extreme!"

"Put your damn finger down," Marv slapped him upside head, "It's rude to point. Forgive the dumbass, Sir."

"It's ok," Xander said, "Just lemme pay for my stuff, and I'll be on my way."

"K," Marv said, but then thought better of it, "Um, can I ask you something, Mr. Harris?"

"It's Xander," he replied, "And, yes."

"You know how you seem to act like Ash from _Evil Dead_," Marv asked, "I was wondering…the Dollar Store near the Arena gets lots of money from you guys, not as much as you used to when you had _Bring Your Own Weapons Night_, but…ah, to Hell with it. Would you mind saying 'Shop Smart, Shop S-Mart?' It'd do wonders for our business!"

Xander pondered that for a moment.

"Gimme free pool sticks and you got a deal."

"Done," Marv said, shaking Xander's hand, "I know a lot of fellow ECW patrons, and they love you. Who's that girl that came and helped you?"

"Faith," Xander replied, "Friend of mine from Boston."

"You don't say," Marv said, "Well, hope to see you again. Shop Smart, Shop S-Mart!"

"Got it," Xander said as he walked out of the S-Mart.

ҖECWҖ

Sunnydale…

"Alright, alright, calm down, calm down," Willy shouted out, "The bets are as follows: two hundred thousand for Kakistos, a hundred and fifty for Faith, and I got five hundred that they'll kill each other! Are there any more bets that need to take place?"

No one answered.

"In that case," Willy shouted, "Come back here tomorrow, dark and late, and we will get ready to watch ECW and, hopefully, watch Kakistos drain a Slayer!!"

The demons and vamps cheered in anticipation.

ҖECWҖ

"Allan," Mayor Richard Wilkins the First, Second, and Third called his lackey, "Have you ordered the pay-per-view?"

"Ugh, yes, Sir," Allan pulled out his notebook, "ECW Heatwave '98, special selection, as ordered, Sir."

"Very good," Wilkins said with a smile, "Hopefully they'll kill each other."

ҖECWҖ

Los Angeles…

"Alright, alright," Lorne shouted out, "Fine. I don't wanna, but if you all insist, I will order the pay-per-view!"

All his patrons shouted with joy. While it went against Lorne's instincts to order something so violent, he knew that it would be very profitable.

ҖECWҖ

"Lee," Holland Manners spoke to his underling as the plane prepared for liftoff, "You have organized the order for my copy of the pay-per-view, correct?"

"Yes, Sir," Lee responded, "And, Lilah has organized a party in the largest conference room during the event. It promises to be a riot."

"I imagine so," Holland said, "Then, I shall see you when I return from Philadelphia."

ҖECWҖ

North Carolina…

"Dear William," Drusilla muttered as she suckled on the child they had captured, "How much longer till we arrive?"

"Just a few more hours, Dru," Spike lied with a grin, "Lucky bastard, that Kakistos. Can't wait to see a good, old-fashioned brawl. Too bad we can't interfere."

"My kitten's gonna be there," Drusilla said with a grin.

"Sure he is, pet," Spike said with a laugh, "Nancy-boy's probably still shacked up in Sunny-Hell farms."

ҖECWҖ

London, England…

"Sir," Wesley beseeched his employer, "Why are we letting her go through with this? Why not send a team to capture her?"

"I'd rather send a team to dispatch her," Travers said, "But, this will be useful, as we can use the video to demonstrate why Slayers should not go out on their own…besides, I've got money riding on this."

"In Faith's favor, of course," Wesley said, flabbergasted by his superior's cavalier manner.

"Of course not, you idiot," Travers replied, "Kakistos has killed two Slayers in the past. When he drains her, I get two million dollars, so I will be rooting for him!"

Wesley then politely excused himself, suddenly feeling the urge to take a shower.

A/N: All facts were taken from wikipedia, so believe/don't believe, it's up to you.


	12. Heatwave 1

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

ҖECWҖ

Francine walked around the arena in Dayton, Ohio, examining the crowd in silence. The arena was sold out, and the patrons, as far as she could tell, were completely human. It had leaked out to most of the locker room that they were to clear the arena immediately after their matches, and to not sign autographs or go alone. After convincing New Jack to speak, she'd learned that the girl who had assaulted her, Faith, was taking on a vampire named Kakistos…and there were going to be tons of vampires and demons spilling in afterwards. She'd always wondered what would happen if Paul incorporated vamps into the business…but, she didn't even know that he'd known about the real world.

That night, that Xander had caught her and kissed her, was burned in her mind…she saw, and felt something when she looked at Xander. There was a light in his eyes, something about his soul that told her…he was capable of great things in this business. Besides, he'd knocked out Rob Van Damn in five seconds…that was something she could not ignore.

Unfortunately, Tommy Dreamer had him firmly in his camp…that would take something foolproof to get him out. She knew that he didn't care about gold, but to her, the gold meant the big paycheck. While she knew that she would never fly in the multi-million dollar companies of WWF or WCW, ECW, and more importantly, Shane Douglas were keeping her afloat, but…there was something about Xander that told her that he was in the business to stay…in some way or another.

So, that was why she was outside the arena, scanning around for someone that could help her…

ҖECWҖ

"...How're you holding up," Xander asked, sitting down beside Faith, watching as Sabu and RVD took on Hayabusa and Shinzaki in their tag team match. His match against RVD was on directly after Taz's match with Bam Bam, and he was really nervous…not about his own match, but Faith's.

"I'm scared," Faith said, staring at the television, "I mean…I'm getting ready to fight the fucker who killed Lynda…I want him to die, and die painfully, but…I don't know if I can do it."

"You can do it," Xander told her, "I have faith in you."

Faith stared up at him, "That was corny."

"It served to break some of the tension," Xander said with a smile, "But, seriously…you can handle this. I know you can."

"…Thanks, X," Faith said, "And, hey…I really enjoyed breakfast this morning."

"Me, too," Xander said, walking away.

Faith sighed, turning back to the television but, before she could get back into it, she heard a chuckle to her right. She looked up and glared at Sandman as he laughed at her, holding his beer.

"Oh, fuck you," Faith screamed at him, but he just winked at her and moved on.

ҖECWҖ

_Walk_ by _Pantera_ bellowed out for the second time as a broken RVD came out, his hands on his ribs. Fonzie was with him, holding his TV Title aloft as Rob was obviously too wounded to keep it around his waist.

"RVD is looking a lot less confident than he did earlier tonight," Joey Styles commented.

"Well, of course he does," Shane Douglas, who was being the guest commentator for the night, said, "He just had a hellacious match against Hayabusa and Shinzaki. I honestly think it's a mistake just to be out here."

"Especially since he has to go up against Xander," Francine, who was with them, said, "After all, Xander did knock him out in five seconds."

"Oh, Xander, Xander, Xander, can we not talk about him for a moment," Douglas shouted into the mic.

"Be fair, champ," Styles said, "Xander did take down all of your Triple Threat single-handedly, and he is known for his deadly chops and flair for the dramatic, a stark contrast from his no-nonsense attitude that he had in the beginning."

"I blame RVD for that," Douglas said.

_Judgment Day_ by _Van Halen_ played out, and the crowd went nuts as Xander came out, dressed in his usual jeans and jacket, with a _Pulp Fiction_ T-shirt that said 'Oh, I'm sorry…Did I break your concentration?'

"Ladies and Gentlemen," the announcer said, "The following contest is scheduled for one-fall with a fifteen minute time limit! Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by the Manager of Champions, Bill Alfonso, from Battle Creek, Michigan, he is the ECW World Tag Team Champion and World Television Champion, Mr. Monday Night, this is ROB…VAN…DAM!!"

Rob was barely able to do his thumbs pose, and he couldn't do the spin kick.

"Introducing next, from la Boca del Inferno, California, he is the Hardcore King of Extreme, the X-man…ladies and gentlemen, this is XANDER…HARRIS!!"

The bell rang, but Xander walked up to Rob and extended his hand before either could make a move. After a moment's worth of hesitation, Rob shook it.

"Are you sure you wanna do this, Rob," Xander asked, worried about his health, "You look like shit."

Instead of answering, Rob used his hand as leverage and landed an enziguri that sent Xander to the mat. Xander flipped himself onto his back, barely evading the spinning legdrop that RVD had gone for. Xander brought himself to his feet, and used the ropes to do a springboard clothesline, which caught Rob in his injured state. Xander tried to follow up with a legdrop, but Rob was able roll out the way. Xander then went for a kick to the ribs, which Rob caught and used to do a leg hook brainbuster.

Xander rolled onto his stomach, winded from the blow, and got up to his feet, only to meet a kick to the chest that sent him to the outside.

**WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW!! WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW!!**

Xander quickly lifted up the ring apron and began searching for weapons, knowing that Rob would take a moment to pander to the crowd. Finding a table, Xander pulled it out but, Rob kicked him in the shoulder before he could finish. Xander got fed up and just launched a devastating punch to Rob, sending him down to the ground.

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

Xander walked over to the crowd and motioned for a chair, which a fan willfully gave him, and bashed Rob in the head with it, sending him down to the floor. Xander then turned and picked up the table, and quickly set it up. As Xander turned around, he barely caught the chair that had been coming at him and, knowing what it was set up for, Xander quickly ducked down, barely avoiding Rob as he flew over him. Rob landed on his feet, and turned around, catching the chair that Xander had thrown. Xander, then, launched another devastating punch into the chair, denting it as he sent Rob to the floor.

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Xander reached underneath the ring again and pulled out a garbage can and a ladder. Xander tossed the ladder into the ring, then pulled Rob up and put him into the can. He tossed Rob onto the table, then entered the ring. As he looked back down to check on Rob, he saw Fonzie trying desperately to wake him up. Sighing, Xander walked out the ring and went to the crowd. He had walked through there earlier and planted a pool stick with an audience member. After retrieving it, he walked back over to the table and smacked Fonzie in the back of the head with it.

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

Xander climbed back into the ring and climbed to the top of the ladder. Everyone was on their feet, knowing what was about to happen. Xander stood at the top of the ladder for a moment and flashed the 'X' symbol, then dived off in a flip and performed a flawless shooting star legdrop to Rob, sending both of them through the table, with Rob still in the garbage can!

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!**

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

"OH, MY GOD," Joey Styles shouted out as the fans continued the chant, "Xander just landed one of the most dangerous spots I've EVER seen!!"

"This kid has got potential, talent, and the ability to perfectly perform any maneuver he wants to," Douglas said, "If he ever makes it to the world championship scene, I'm gonna have to work my ass off to beat him in the center of the ring!"

"Assuming you're still even the champion," Styles said.

Francine said nothing, she was too worried that her future meal ticket might be dead.

In the back, Faith, Sandman, Tommy, and Spike were gathered in front of the TV, waiting for either Rob or Xander to get up.

"Holy shit, man," Sandman said, "That was amazing. One of them has got to be dead!"

"Come on," Faith urged them on, "Get up!"

Xander blinked as he struggled to get up. His body felt like it'd been bruised in every single conceivable, and inconceivable place. He didn't even wanna think about what Rob was going through. On the plus side, he'd just done a very difficult maneuver that he had no idea how to do…while his instincts were doing good when it came to pulling stuff outta nowhere, he needed to actually get some training.

Sighing, Xander slowly pulled himself up into a sitting position, clutching his leg as he did so. He used the guardrail to lift himself up, then hobbled back to the ring, leaning on the apron. Fonzie was up, trying to rouse Rob outta his coma, but Rob was still in the can. Xander limped out of the ring, trudging towards Rob as Fonzie backed off, scared to death of him. Xander pulled Rob out of the trashcan and carried him over to the ring. After getting him in, Xander climbed in himself and went for the cover.

ONE…TWO…THR- 

"Holy crap," Styles shouted as Rob somehow managed to kick out, "Rob Van Dam just barely gets his shoulder up, how the Hell did he do that!?"

"He's going on pure heart right now," Douglas shouted, "Pure stubbornness is the only thing he has left, but it won't be enough. Van Dam needs to come up with a game plan, other than 'survive'!"

WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW! WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW!! 

Xander tossed a steel chair down to the mat and pulled Rob's dead weight up, setting him up for his finisher. He held Rob's head in a DDT position, then rotated around so that the back of his head was on his shoulder. Xander then pushed himself off, and he was supposed to keep a hold of Rob's head…

…But, Rob burst to life and got away from him, letting Xander land chest-first onto the chair. Xander flipped around, blinking away the pain as he tried to get up, but Rob hit him again with his spinning legdrop. He closed his eyes as he tried to get over the pain, and readied himself to kick out. Fortunately, Rob was playing to part, as he could easily hear him pandering to the crowd.

"ROB…VAN…DAM!!" 

He opened his eyes, trying to see where Rob was…then, he noticed the fact that the mat had just bounced…as soon as he realized what was going on, Xander got his knees up, just catching Rob as he went for his Five-Star Frog Splash. Rob rolled off him, clutching his side in pain. Xander, feeling another rush of adrenaline come on, got up and took a stance…as soon as Rob was on his knees, Xander let loose a devastating kick to the square of his back. Rob fell back to the ground, rolling around as he tried to get control of the pain. Xander sighed and turned back to the audience, flashing his 'X' symbol.

"SHOP SMART," he shouted.

SHOP S-MART!! 

_Wow_, he thought, _These fans're smart!_

"Dear God, will he ever give the _Army of Darkness_ crap a rest," Douglas complained, "We get it, he acts like that douche! Move on!!"

Xander went for the pin…

ONE…TWO…THR- 

Rob just barely kicked out in time.

THIS MATCH RULES!! THIS MATCH RULES!! THIS MATCH RULES!! 

"Ladies and Gentlemen," the ring announcer called out, "There are five minutes remaining in this bout."

Xander was starting to get pissed off. This had to end, soon, if he was gonna get enough time to rest before Faith's match. Sighing, he decided that there was only one way he could end the match. Xander climbed outside the ring and pulled out another table and put it inside the ring. Fonzie tried to stop him again, but Xander just punched him in the gut and tossed him on the table. Xander then lifted Rob up and put him in a fireman's carry. He brought himself up to the second rope, with Rob still on his shoulders, and he rolled off the top rope, sending Rob and himself through Fonzie and the table to the mat below.

"OH, MY GOD," Styles shouted.

HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! 

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Xander quickly rolled on top of Rob.

ONE…TWO…THREE!! 

The bell rang, and the audience went insane. Xander rolled off of Rob and lay on the mat, gasping for air. Eventually, he rose to his feet, trying to get his bearings as the crowd shouted out around him.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," the announcer said, "With three minutes and thirty-eight seconds remaining, your winner is the Hardcore King of Extreme, the X-Man…XANDER HARRIS!!"

HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! 

As _Judgment Day_ played, Xander flashed the audience the 'X' symbol, then squatted down to check and see how Rob was doing.

"You ok, buddy," Xander asked.

"Oh, God," Rob moaned, even as he and Fonzie lifted him to his feet, "What kind of fuckin' bus was that?"

"You know," Xander said, ignoring the ref who brought in the mic, "Even though Hayabusa and Shinzaki had royally fucked you up, you still managed to damn near beat me."

"Yeah," Rob said, somehow finding the strength to stand on his own, "And, you managed to kick my ass…again! Let's face facts here, X, you beat my ass in that ring, forget Hayabusa and the other guy! You, my friend, are the shit!"

The crowd cheered and Rob and Xander both held their arms up.

"Still," Rob said, "We aren't done yet. You and I are goin' to go around and around at least once more!"

"Nah, man," Xander said, even though the fans were cheering for it, "You and I have had two classic matches, and I think that's enough."

"No," Rob objected, "We've had two classic matches, but it's not what we want, we can't end it like this! At November to Remember, you and I are going at it one more time, and this time, it's for _my_ World Television Title!"

The fans started to cheer wildly for it.

WE WANT IT NOW!! WE WANT IT NOW!! WE WANT IT NOW!! 

"You see," Rob shouted out, "It's what the fans want…well, I say, let's give it to them!"

Xander took a moment to consider it…he didn't want to keep beating the crap outta Rob, though Rob was giving as good as he was getting…and, the fans were really enjoying it. Besides…Paul E would probably kick his ass if he said no.

"November to Remember," Xander said, "Rob Van Dam, the Whole Fuckin' Show, vs. the Hardcore King of Extreme, which I still have no idea how I got that nickname, Xander Harris for the ECW World Television Title…why the fuck not!?"

The fans exploded at that.

"Just remember this, Xander," Rob said, "When you and I get into that ring, you won't just be facing Mr. Monday Night, Rob Van Dam…you will be facing off against the…

"WHOLE…FUCKIN'…SHOW!!" 

Xander just smiled at him and said, "I only have one thing to say to that…SHOP SMART!

"SHOP S-MART!" 

ҖECWҖ

"Well, I'll be damned," Spike said with a grin, "The whelp did it."

"The nasty cheerleader," Spike turned to the smiling Dru, "She's going to be wanting my kitty soon."

"Sure, Pet," Spike said, "Whatever you say."


	13. Heatwave 2

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

ҖECWҖ

Paul E watched as the fans filed out, quickened by the spell W&H had put in place to insure that they would all leave. Most of his people were out, save Tommy, Spike, Sandman, Xander, Taz, Rob, Sabu, New Jack, and Fonzie. New Jack had managed to show up at the last minute to take out Jack Victory, and he insisted on sticking around to see if Faith won.

He was still having doubts about this, but, as he saw the first of many limos pull up, he knew that he had made his bed…he just hoped that it was only the Devil he knew that was already inside.

ҖECWҖ

Francine walked around the arena as the…people began to file in. A few of them were vampires, she could tell, and they looked like they wanted to eat her…something seemed to be holding them back, though, like she was off-limits to them.

She didn't know how to feel about this, but, she felt better knowing that there was something looking after her…even if it could be evil.

"Dear cheerleader," she turned around and came face-to-face with a vampiress dressed in a Victorian-style black dress, "You seek a leash for the kitty?"

"…Ugh," Francine had no idea what to say, "…sure."

"Come along, little cheerleader," the vampire took her by the shoulder, "You and I have much to talk about."

ҖECWҖ

"Oh, God," Faith said as she stared out into the arena, "They're so many…"

"You can do this, Faith," Xander said, walking up behind her with a buggy, "Here, a bunch of stuff we thought might help."

Faith looked into the buggy and saw an assortment of stakes, all different sizes, two swords, a stun gun, and a water bottle.

"Holy water," Xander said, tossing it to her, "Go for the eyes and the crotch."

Faith laughed at that.

"Good luck, Faith," Xander said, turning around to walk away.

"Hey, X," Faith called and, as he turned back around, she caught his lips with her own.

Before long, she pulled away from him, pushing the cart along with her. Xander stared after her in shock, touching his lips as he adjusted to the feeling.

He smiled and said, "Damn."

ҖECWҖ

"Ladies and Gentlemen," the announcer called out, his professionalism overriding his fear of the oddities around him, "The following contest is a fight to the death!"

The crowd of vamps, demons, and humans cheered out.

"Introducing first, from the Greek Islands, he is one of the oldest living vampires in history, this is…KAKISTOS!!"

Kakistos walked out of the crowd, not having been allowed backstage, with Mr. Trick by his side. As he entered the ring, the crowd began to cheer even more, obviously choosing him as the superior in this fight.

"And, introducing next, from the streets of Boston, Massachusetts, she is the Vampire Slayer, this is…FAITH!!" 

Faith walked out next, pushing her cart of weapons out in front of her. The crowd definitively booed her, obviously hoping that they would see the death of a Slayer tonight.

"As specified in the signed contracts," the announcer said, "Any being who interferes on behalf of either warrior will be subject to punishment ranging from inconceivable torture to prolonged death."

There was no ref, there was no need to have on. Faith stood on the outside, her cart near her, while Kakistos stared at her with hate from inside the ring. The bell rang.

Kakistos let out a mighty roar and charged at Faith, leaping over the ropes to try and get at her. Faith ducked down and quickly stood up as Kakistos landed on his feet. He turned around quickly, and Faith splashed the holy water into his face. As he was blinded, she grabbed the nearest stake and slammed it into his chest.

The crowd booed at first, believing that the match had ended too soon, only to start cheering again as Kakistos laughed, pulling the stake out of his chest.

"I guess you need a bigger stake, Slayer," Kakistos said, then threw his head back and laughed.

Faith chose to respond by splashing her remaining holy water onto his crotch, as Xander had suggested, and kicking him in the crotch, capitalizing on the damage that was already done. The crowd seemed to hiss in sympathy for him, but Faith didn't care. She threw a few devastating punches at him, then followed through with a kick to his temple. Kakistos fell off the ramp to the floor below, and she took a moment to grab a sword outta the cart and went off after him.

Her first strike landed against the guardrail as Kakistos moved out of the way, while her second managed to graze his abdomen. Kakistos backed up from her, wary of her blade. She followed him closely, watching out for any instance that he might let his guard down. Suddenly, she lashed out with an overhead swipe…

…only to have Kakistos catch it with his hand, drawing a thin line of blood from him. He quickly used his other hand to snap it in half, causing Faith to recoil in shock. Kakistos laughed as he began to stalk her, all while she moved backwards in fear.

"I can't begin to tell you how much fun it was to torture dear Lynda," Kakistos snarled at her, "She begged and cried and pleaded…I don't think I've ever broken a woman down quite that much."

Faith silently began to cry as she continued to back away, the memory of her dead Watcher reminding her of so much pain. Kakistos caught her with a backhand, sending her onto the ramp as she tried to get away. Kakistos casually walked closer to her, only stopping at the cart to grab the two-by-four that had been fashioned into a stake.

"I wonder how if feels to get stabbed with a sharpened piece of wood," Kakistos said, examining the stake with a smile, "Let's find out, Faith."

Kakistos went for the heart as he brought the stake down, and Faith barely managed to roll out of the way.

ҖECWҖ

"Come on, Faith," Xander said, cringing every time Kakistos tried to impale her, "Come on, you can do it!"

"Damn," New Jack said as Faith barely avoided another one, "This is wrong, man. We should be helping her!"

"Faith wanted to do this on her own," Paul said, though it was obvious that he was battling his own guilt.

"We gotta do something," Spike said, "If she dies…"

"She won't die," Xander said, "Trust me, I'll die saving her if I have to."

ҖECWҖ

"Come on, Big K," Willy shouted out as Kakistos made another attempt to stake her.

"Get up, Slayer, get up," the vampire beside him shouted.

"Why'd you bet on the Slayer," Willy asked.

"Because Kakistos is a shithead," the vampire responded.

"…Fair enough," Willy said as he turned back to the action.

ҖECWҖ

Richard Wilkins took another sip of his brandy as he watched Faith launch a desperate attempt to derail Kakistos, sending him into the audience. While it was usually above him to indulge in such barbarisms, in this instance, he had no other alternative. He had even decided to watch the entire pay-per-view and, while he deplored their gratuitous use of vulgar language, he admired the wrestlers who put their bodies on the line in the interest of combat. It reminded him of simpler times…

ҖECWҖ

Faith did a legsweep, forcing all of her supernatural power into it, and watched in satisfaction as Kakistos was sent railing into the audience. She paused a moment to examine the beings around him: mostly vampires, with some demons and the odd human mixed in. While she was aware of the contract that all of them had to have signed, she still felt nervous about leaping into a crowd of monsters. Still, she had this opportunity…

Resigning herself, she grabbed up the other sword and prepared for her assault. All those that had been around Kakistos backed away quickly fearing for their (un)lives. Faith let out a battle cry, not too dissimilar from Xena's, and leapt into the crowd.

She slashed down on Kakistos as she fell, lopping his arm off just below the shoulder. Kakistos howled in pain as blood spewed from the wound, and his arm turned to dust before hitting the ground. Faith, invigorated by his howls, proceeded to stab him six times in the stomach, bringing him down to his knees.

Unbeknownst to either of them, Xander had run out from behind the curtain. He was beyond worried about her well-being and, while he knew that killing Kakistos would be very good for her, he also knew that her torturing him wouldn't be.

"Faith," he shouted, causing her to glance at him, "Don't be like him. End it!"

Faith stared at him for a long moment, contemplating what he had said. She wanted him to suffer, to pay with his life for what he had done to Lynda…and, while she had no problems with making him suffer, Xander did have a point. Lynda wouldn't want her to become like him.

Her rage dying down, only a little, Faith turned to Kakistos.

"I hope you rot in Hell," she said before she cleanly cut his head off, sending his corpse to the floor in a dusty pile.

Faith stared at the pile for a long moment before turning around and lifting herself onto the ramp. She stared at Xander for what felt like an eternity before dropping her sword and collapsing in on herself. Xander quickly came to her side, embracing her as only a friend could.

ҖECWҖ

Across the world, humans, demons, and vampires alike watched in awe as Faith defeated one of the most powerful vampires to have ever existed.

"Alright, all those who bet on Faith, please come forward," Whistler shouted at the top of his lungs.

ҖECWҖ

Paul E leaned back in his chair as he thought about the night's events. RVD and Xander were gonna go at it for the TV Title, Taz was probably going to face Douglas for the ECW World Title at the next ppv, and Lord only knew what the situation with Faith was gonna bring. Hell, that night could've been the event that made or broke his company.

A knock on his door brought him out of his worrying.

"Come in," Paul beckoned.

A middle-aged man dressed in a sharp suit walked into his office, a slimy smile on his face that just told him he was a lawyer.

"Good evening, Mr. Heyman," the man greeted him, "My name is Holland Manners, and I am the CEO of the Los Angeles branch of Wolfram and Hart."

"The firm that worked out our pay-per-view deal," Paul said, liking this man even less, "What can I do for you?"

"I wanted to let you know that the distributing company has already received more than ten times the amount of orders for your pay-per-view than any other you have done," Manners informed him, "And, given the light of that success, I was wondering if you and I could discuss a…business proposition."

"…Come and sit down," he was selling his soul and he knew it, but he had every confidence that it could be worth it.

ҖECWҖ

"Do you understand, little cheerleader," Drusilla said, taking her wrist away from Francine's mouth, even as she protested, "The little kitty needs it…"

"Yes," Francine said with a smile, "He needs it."


	14. Chapter 12

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

ҖECWҖ

"Holy crap," Xander said as he watched the trucks pull in, "What the Hell is going on?"

"It's move in day," Tommy said, "Paul E made a deal with Wolfram and Hart. ECW now has demons and vampires in it."

"What," Xander asked, beside himself, "Why the Hell would Paul E ever agree to that?"

"Money and more leverage with the pay-per-view companies," Tommy said, "Thanks to them, it looks like ECW might go national pretty soon. I don't like the way it's happening, but I like the fact that we're almost there."

"We coulda done it without them, you know," Xander said, and he really did believe that.

"I know," Tommy said, "But, if we did, think of where we'd be. At the mercy of the network, with them pulling our strings like puppets. At least with Wolfram and Hart, it's in their best interest to work with us."

"For now," Xander said.

"…Come on," Tommy said, "Paul E and I are going to meet with the head demon, goes by the name of Teeth."

ҖECWҖ

Teeth, as it turned out, was some kind of shark demon, dressed in a suit with two thuggish demons at his side. Paul E was sitting across from him, with both Buh Buh Ray and Big Dick Dudley on his side. Xander and Tommy took a second to glare at them, and they returned the glare with gusto, but swiftly turned their attention back to the demons.

"So, how exactly do we intend on organizing this," Paul E asked Teeth, "Your group can't go around killing people all the time, or each other."

"Don't worry about that," Teeth responded, "None of my boys will kill anyone," Teeth stared at Xander and Faith for a moment, "Who doesn't try to kill them first."

"…So, do you still want to have the ECW logo? Wolfram and Hart weren't too clear on that," Paul E said.

"We've decided to alter it, but only a little," Teeth said, "We will be _D_CW, Demonic Championship Wrestling. We have the arena once a week, and don't worry about your wrestlers or regular patrons, we'll have our mages cast a spell to make them stay away for those nights."

"What about TV?" Paul E asked.

"We'll be operating on a special channel designed only for those who are in the know," Teeth replied, "We'll also have pay-per-views to coincide with your own. Anything else?"

"What demons are you bringing," Xander demanded.

"All kinds," Teeth replied, "Even vampires. Even humans if they want."

"Championships," Tommy said.

"The DCW World Heavyweight Championship, the Dimensional Title, and the Tag Team Titles," Teeth replied, "The Dimensional Title will be open for demons who come from another dimension. We've already drawn up papers that go along with tickets, and our first show is next week."

"Tonight, you're running a house show," Paul E said, "Have you paid for music or anything?"

"Yes, we have," Teeth said, standing up, "Now that we're through, I'd like a moment of your time to talk to Faith."

Paul E turned to Faith, who nodded after a moment's worth of hesitation. As all the wrestlers left, Xander grabbed Tommy.

"The Dudleys," Xander started.

"Apparently, Big Daddy Dudley wasn't entirely human," Tommy replied, "He was half incubus."

"Lucky bastard," Xander remarked, turning away to join Faith.

"He stays," Faith preempted them, "Or I walk."

Teeth stared at Xander for a moment before nodding, and motioning them to sit.

"Our world champion, Kang, wants to face you in a match," Teeth explained, "It'll be for his title, and after that, a rematch if you win. What do you say?"

"No," Faith answered automatically.

"He thought as much," Teeth replied, obviously trying to play her, "Still, it's all for the best. He's killed Slayers before."

"Don't," Xander interrupted Faith before she could speak, "He's trying to lure you into it."

"…Tell him no," Faith said, and with that, the two left them.

ҖECWҖ

"Hey, Xander, Faith," the two looked behind them as Joey Styles walked up to them.

"Hey, Joey," Xander greeted him, "What's up, man?"

"I need to know what species of demon I'll be commenting on tonight," Joey explained, "I'd ask them myself, but I'm scared I'll piss one of 'em off."

"You're commenting in DCW," Xander asked, perplexed.

"Just till they get their new commentator," Joey explained, shaking his head, "Demons and vampires, man…I never thought it was possible."

"Does everyone in ECW know now," Faith asked.

"Pretty much," Joey said, "Most were already in the know, anyway, thank God."

"Freaks and misfits," Xander said, laughing, "I don't know which ones they are, but I'll be more than happy to commentate with you."

"Oh, that'd be great," Joey said, "Someone with experience. You want in to, Faith?"

"Nah, I just declined a title match," Faith said, "Um, Xander, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure," Xander said, "Be back, Joe."

"Meet me in the Nest," Joey said, walking away from the two.

"Xander, are you sure about commentating on matches with demons," Faith asked, "You've probably killed some of their relatives in there."

"I don't want Joey or anyone anywhere near demons or vamps without either you, me, or Jack nearby to help out," Xander replied.

"…Ok," Faith said, understanding why, "…Would you like to go out tomorrow?"

"…Sure," Xander said with a smile, "How 'bout tonight, after the show?"

"Sounds good," Faith said, getting over her butterflies, "Have a good time."

"Thanks," Xander said, walking away, "See ya!"

Faith stared after him for a long moment, primarily questioning her decision to commit to a relationship…though she was also staring at his ass.

"I saw that," she turned around as Sandman walked up behind her, smiling as he held his beer, "So, you and the puke are going out tonight?"

"He's not a puke," Faith said with a smile, "He's my…boytoy."

"In any case, good for you," Sandman said, smiling as he did so, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to get drunk."

"Aren't you already drunk," Faith called after him.

"-ER!"

ҖECWҖ

Joey Styles looked at the crowd of demons and vampires, and he had to resist the urge to piss himself.

"Good evening, everybody, my name is Joey Styles," a chorus of boos and growls surged out against him.

**MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!**

"Oh, God," Joey said, "Anyway, tonight is the first official event of DCW, Demonic Championship Wrestling. Here to help me tonight, and to quite frankly be my bodyguard, ECW's Hardcore King of Extreme, the X-Man, XANDER HARRIS!"

The demons picked up the 'meat' chant again as _Judgment Day_ by _Van Halen_ came on. The chant changed into a sound of pure hatred as Xander came out, giving them their first good look at him. The demons and vamps obviously wanted to go at him, but they were held back by the contract, so they pelted him with stones, drinks, and food.

"Well," Xander said, "This is gonna be fun."

ҖECWҖ

Francine woke up with a splitting headache. Still, that wasn't too abnormal, as she'd had a constant headache since the day after Heatwave. She sat up and grabbed her glass of water, walking down into her kitchen as she did so. Without really thinking about it, she sat down in front of her telephone and pulled out the phone book. She started to search around for a moment before stopping and pulling out a marker and circling a number. She quickly put it away and, without anything more, she walked back up to her bedroom and went to sleep, not even remembering what had happened.

ҖECWҖ

"Well, ladies and gentlemen," Joey was saying, "In our main event tonight, we have the DCW World Champion, Kang the Valore coming out to face Kodos the Margeen in a bout to determine the number one contender."

"Either those demons have weird ass names, or someone in their family watches _The Simpsons_ way too much," Xander said with a laugh.

_Metallica's Fade to Black_ played out as Kang came out. He was a large demon with dark red scales, and small horns covering his face and chin. He was dressed in leather pants and a leather vest with demonic writing and symbols all over it. He had his belt on his shoulder, a large black belt decorated in drops of blood and a demonic skull with horns. It was also encrusted with diamonds and a set of rubies in place of eyes.

**VALORE! VALORE! VALORE! KANG VALORE!**

"Some custom demonic chants for the champion," Joey said.

"Damn, Kang's a tough customer," Xander said, "I don't think I coulda handled him back when I hunted demons."

In truth, he still hunted vamps, but only on occasion.

_Black and Blue _by_ Van Halen_ came on as Kodos came out, to a chorus of snarls from the crowd. Kodos lived up to his name, as his body was an odd mesh of black and blue. Even his clothing was black and blue. He had tentacles growing from his shoulders and a snarl on his face.

For the most part, Xander just let Joey call the match (who was barely able to keep up) and he watched as Kang and Kodos went at it. For the most part, it was a simple brawl, with Kang getting the better of it with a couple of painful head-buts to Kodos's face. That changed once Kodos got a hold of a chair and began slamming it into Kang's head, denting it on the first blow.

**MAR-QOO! MAR-QOO! MAR-QOO-RAAA!**

"Ah, now that one, I got," Xander said, "Mar-Qoo is the ceremonial call to defend one's honor, usually for a mate or a prize. When 'Ra' is added to it, it means that dire consequences will be brought onto the loser."

"Well, hopefully no one will get killed," Joey commented.

Kang powerbombed Kodos through a table, and Kodos was up quicker than could be, only to meet three steel chairs as Kang bashed them all across Kodos's forehead.

**VALORE! VALORE! KANG VALORE!**

"Wow, the crowd really loves Kang," Joey said.

"I guess he's a ceremonial warrior, with longstanding traditions," Xander guessed, "I wouldn't know, I've never encountered one of his kind."

The match continued on, mostly with Kang royally kicking Kodos's ass, much to the amusement of the crowd. A point of interest came when Kang and Kodos took the fighting up to the Eagle's Nest, which led to a confrontation.

"Hey," Xander shouted as Kang and Kodos began to brawl on the level below them, "Take it downstairs, you bastards."

Kang and Kodos both turned to him and shouted, "Go fuck off, human!" The crowd really began to cheer at that, happy that their competitors had stood up to the demon hunter.

Xander, at that point, was pissed off so, rather than do the smart thing and walk away, he grabbed a baseball bat and jumped off the Nest, crossbodying Kang and bashing Kodos across the head and bringing all three of them down to the floor below.

"OH, MY GOD," Joey shouted at the top of his lungs, "XANDER JUST COMMITTED SUICIDE!"

**MU-TI-LATE HIM! MU-TI-LATE HIM!**

"Well, if that isn't a signature demon chant, I don't know what is," Joey shouted.

Kang was up first, pulling Xander up with him.

"You have courage, human," Kang snarled at Xander, "It is for that reason alone that I will not kill you."

"Thanks," Xander commented, not really thinking about it.

"I still must punish you," Kang suddenly grinned, then threw Xander high above the crowds and into the center of the ring, putting him straight through the middle of it.

"OH, MY GOD," Joey shouted at the top of his lungs, standing up and ripping his microphone off.

**VALORE! VALORE! KANG VALORE!**

Kang dragged Kodos back to the concrete and set him up for a powerbomb, slamming him into the post and knocking Kodos unconscious with that blow. Kang quickly lifted Kodos onto his back and pulled him into the ring, where the ref made the count.

**ONE…TWO…THREE!**

Kang stood up and, without much preamble, called out for a microphone.

"I," he started out, "AM KANG THE VALORE!"

**VALORE! VALORE! KANG VALORE!**

"I challenged the Vampire Slayer to a match, but she was too weak and cowardly to accept," Kang continued.

**MAR-QOO-SEA! MAR-QOO-SEA!**

"Mar-Qoo-Sea, indeed," Kang said, "She refuses to defend her honor, and so, I shall force her hand."

He reached down and pulled out Xander, who was conscious but not mobile, and held him by his neck.

"Slayer," he shouted out, "If you do not accept my challenge, I shall break your boyfriend's neck!"

**VALORE!**

For a moment, nothing happened, then _You Shook Me All Night Long_ by _AC/DC_ came on. Faith literally sprinted from the back and jumped up from the floor, over the ropes, and into Kang, sending him down to the floor and separating him from Xander. The demons booed her mercilessly as she checked on Xander, then even moreso when she roundhoused Kang before he could get back into the ring, sending him chin-first into the guardrail.

"You wanted my attention," Faith shouted into the microphone, "You got it, Kang. Next week, you and me are gonna go for the DCW Title!"

**VALORE! VALORE! VALORE! KANG VALORE!**

ҖECWҖ

"Dumbass," Faith said as she and Sandman tended to Xander's wounds, "You go and face off against two demonic warriors. What the Fuck were you thinking?"

"He was thinkin' with his dick," Sandman said, "And, Hell, he took down two warrior demons. That's something to brag about!"

"I didn't take them down," Xander said, "I took them to the floor, where one of them threw me through the center of the ring. I should be dead."

"Yeah, you should," Paul E came up to them, "For that act of stupidity, Xander, I'm putting you in a match against Justin Credible for later this week."

"Alright, Paul," Xander said.

"Also, I need you and Faith here early tomorrow," Paul E said, "We need to shoot a promo with the two of you. We'll discuss your back story and what you want presented later."

"Sounds good," Faith agreed, "So, I guess we won't be goin' out tonight?"

"Oh, fuck yeah," Xander said, standing up, wincing as he did so, "I need some enjoyment in my immediate life. Besides, Guido gave me a few tips on Italian restaurants."

"Oh, God," Faith said with a grin, "Maybe we should join the FBI, they probably know of every great place to get pizza in New York."


	15. Chapter 13

Going to Extremes

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

ҖECWҖ

ECW went on the air and a promo came up. It featured footage of Xander and Faith, separately and together, all to the beat of _Born to Raise Hell_ by _Motorhead_.

"Xander Harris and Faith," Paul E's voice came over the TV, "One is a mystery man who dresses in _Army of Darkness_ and _Flash Gordon_ shirts, and the other is a brunette bombshell that took on Buh Buh Ray Dudley, _blow…for…blow!!_

"Who are they? And where do they come from? Xander knocked out Rob Van Dam with a single blow to the throat, a move that could easily kill a man. This leads inquiring minds to conclude that, in spite of his age, he has been highly trained in martial arts. Members of our roster even theorize that he might be former military. Unfortunately for us, he isn't telling anyone anytime soon.

"Faith's story, on the other hand, is a matter of public record," Paul E continued, "Arrested at the tender age of twelve for a domestic situation, Faith was the classic example of a troubled child: drunk and abusive parents, living off the streets, till one day, she was taken in by an exclusive all-woman gang called 'The Slayers.' For almost six months, she traveled with them, taking on all rival gangs, till one month ago, when Faith's entire group was cut down by a rival gang who called themselves 'Feratu!'

"Faith, being the sole survivor of that horrible massacre, was rescued by our own Hardcore King of Extreme, Xander Harris. ECW happily welcomed Faith to our own edition, and the Dark Slayer, Faith, has some words of appreciation for us all."

The promo cut over to Faith, dressed in a pair of jeans and a ripped up black _Led Zeppelin_ T-shirt, that let you see a little bit of her black bra.

"ECW, the Epicenter of Hardcore," Faith said in her smoky Bostonian voice, "I'm from Boston, and I lived every day of my life on the streets. I first saw someone die when I was eleven. The streets raised me up to be tough as nails, and when I lost my sisters, I thought that I'd lost my world. But, Xander came and showed me the world known as E-C-Fuckin'-W, and I gotta say," the camera closed in on her face at an odd angle, "I'm lookin' forward to shakin' it up a little."

She smiled a sexy smile and blew a kiss at the camera before it went out.

ҖECWҖ

"Shane Douglas," Taz was doing a promo when ECW came back on, "You've run out of excuses, you punk. At November to Remember, you and I are going at it for the world championship. I am the real world champion," he held up the FTW belt, "This is the real world title, the Brooklyn World Championship. At November to Remember, you and I are going at it, and there's not one damn thing you can do about it.

"Remember this, Douglas…Beat me if you can…Survive IF I LET YOU!!"

ҖECWҖ

Xander sat back and watched as Tommy took on Masato Tanaka in a hellacious match. His attentions were drawn away from the match as Taz walked nearby, dressed in a pair of shorts and his black and orange Taz T-shirt.

"Hey, you," Taz called him, "I saw your match against Van Dam. You're pretty good, how come you don't train in the House of Hardcore?"

"Haven't gotten around to it," Xander said, not really understanding where Taz was coming from.

"You show up once a week, you and Faith," Taz _told_ him, "And, I want you in a match next week."

"…Why," Xander asked.

"Van Dam beat Sabu," Taz said with a glare, "And I've beaten Van Dam. You, by proxy, beat them both. I wanna beat you."

"…Alright," Xander said after a moment, "I guess I understand where you're comin' from. Still, wouldn't you rather wait till I beat Sabu?"

"That'll come soon," Taz said cryptically, "That'll come soon."

ҖECWҖ

"Yes," Francine said into the phone, "Yes, how long will that take? A month! I don't think I can wait that long! …Oh, alright, fine, one month, not a moment longer."

Francine hung up the phone in a huff, then seemed to stare off into space for a while.

"Francine, honey," Douglas called to her, "Are you alright!?"

"Huh," she seemed dazed for a moment, then blinked her eyes and said, "Oh, yeah…yeah, I'm fine."

"Good," Douglas said, staring at her, "You know, you've really been spacing out lately…you haven't been takin' drugs, have ya?"

"None other than the usual," Francine said, walking beside him.

"Good," Douglas said.

ҖECWҖ

_Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck_ by _Prong_ came on as the entourage of Justin Credible came out.

"Well, here we go, the match between the X-Man, Xander Harris, and the punk, Justin Credible," Joey Styles said, "And, here comes his entourage of the quote 'sexiest man on earth,' Jason (who can't have ever been laid in his life), Chastity, whose name is so freakin' dead-on it gives me chills, and that…whatever she is, Nicole Bass, they shoulda named her Russia cause she's so much bigger than Chyna."

Indeed, Justin's entourage came out, quickly surrounding the ring as they waited on him. Eventually, Justin came out, dressed in his usual jean shorts with black leggings and a _Got Blood?_ T-shirt.

**JUST AN ASSHOLE!! JUST AN ASSHOLE!!**

Then, _Born to Raise Hell_ came on as Xander and Faith made their entrance, with Xander dressed up in his usual jeans and black jacket, with a ripped up _Star Trek_ shirt that had a Klingon on it that said 'chicks dig Klingon warriors!' Faith was dressed similarly, in leather pants and a ripped up _Aerosmith_ shirt on, and it was ripped in a way that exposed the middle of her chest and a good amount of the left side of her bra.

"Oh, my," Joey said, audibly enjoying the show, "Faith sure is a…a well-built woman."

As they stepped into the ring, Justin visibly winked at Faith, who simply cocked an eyebrow, indicating her level of interest in him. Jason came forward.

"Hey, luscious," he said in a sleezy voice.

Xander just stood back, watching in amusement as Faith grabbed his hand and swiftly twisted his wrist, bringing him down to his knees.

OH, JASON, YOU'RE SO FINE, YOU'RE SO FINE, YOU SUCK DICK ALL THE TIME!! HEY, JASON, YEAH, YEAH, HEY, JASON!!

Joey laughed at that, saying, "Well, the fans are…vocalizing their approval of Faith's actions."

Nicole Bass quickly came forward, shoving Jason out of the way and stared down at Faith, daring her to try something. Faith turned back to Xander, her gaze asking him if she was for real.

"She's mostly drugs and plastic," Xander said, "Explains why Justin keeps her around."

Nicole went at him, but Faith caught her first, doubling her over with a vicious kick to the stomach. Nicole got up eventually and tackled Faith to the ground. Justin went to interfere, but Xander caught him with a punch to the shoulder, sending him back to the ropes. Chastity joined the brawl in Nicole's favor, and before long, Faith was engaged in a furious battle with both Nicole and Chastity on the outside of the ring.

"Ordinarily, I would scream 'catfight,' but, as far as I'm concerned, neither Nicole or Chastity are completely women," Joey said, "Still, give it up to the Slayer for facing the two of them alone!"

**FUCK 'EM UP, SLAY-ER, FUCK 'EM UP!!**

**FUCK 'EM UP, X-MAN, FUCK 'EM UP!!**

The fans, quite obviously, were fully behind Xander and Faith.

Xander had worked Justin into the corner and was systematically taking him out with kicks and punches. Eventually, though, Justin was able to pull Xander into the corner and begin working him over with chops.

**WOOOO!!**

Xander caught the second chop with his hands and twisted his arm around, applying eight pounds of pressure at the right angle to keep a hold on him. He forced him over to the ropes, then used his arm to flip him onto his back. Xander used the ropes and did a springboard legdrop, but Justin managed to grab his leg and twist him around into an ankle lock, which caused the fans to applaud at the show of real wrestling.

Xander was on his stomach, but he managed to get on his back and kick Justin in the shoulder, forcing him off of him. Xander quickly got to his feet, but Justin clotheslined him to the mat again. He went to the other rope, so Xander stayed down and let him go over him. He quickly got up and ducked the clothesline and, as Justin turned around, Xander launched a bladed hand into his chest, sending him down to the floor, shaking.

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

Meanwhile, Faith was on the outside, beating the crap outta Nicole Bass as Chastity climbed back up to the ring to check on Justin. Faith and Nicole eventually brawled till they were outside, though it was obvious to anyone that Faith was in charge of the battle.

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Xander climbed to the top rope and was going to go for a splash, but Chastity ran over at him and hit him with a pan. Xander absorbed the blow for a second, then simply shoved her off the apron and down to the floor. Unfortunately, that gave Justin enough time to get back up and hit him with a few rights and lefts. Slowly, Justin also climbed the ropes and superplexed him down to the mat!!

"Justin Credible gets one off the interference," Joey said, "Chastity needs to mind her own damn business when it comes to this."

Justin went for the cover, but Xander caught him as he was coming down, slapping on a side-headlock on the mat. Chastity quickly tried to distract the ref, but Xander just popped Justin once in the forehead, dazing him, and got up to deal with her. She quickly leapt down off the apron and made a run for it, but Xander quickly caught up with her and put her over the guardrail. He smiled and looked underneath the ring and, lo and behold, someone had left a ping-pong paddle beneath there. Chastity was still bent over the apron and, after decking Justin again for trying to interfere, Xander lifted Chastity's skirt up, exposing her butt. He lifted up the paddle to thunderous applause from the audience.

"You've been a bad little girl," Xander said for all the audience to hear, "And, now, I just gotta punish you."

Xander quickly let loose with a few spankings, making Chastity moan in pain.

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Justin suddenly came up and bashed him in the head with a steel chair, sending Xander down to the ground. Justin followed up by repeatedly hitting him in the back with that chair, till Xander turned around and kicked the chair into Justin's stomach, then did a legsweep to Justin, sending him down to the ground. He quickly followed up with a legdrop. He picked Justin up and sent him into the ring, then went for the cover.

ONE…TWO…THR-

Justin barely got his shoulder up.

Outside, the crowd had gathered around to watch as Faith and Nicole Bass continued to go at it, with Faith still retaining the upper hand. Nicole managed to catch her with a blow to the throat, which stunned Faith momentarily, long enough for Nicole to spear her to the ground. She swiftly got up and grabbed a nearby trashcan, but Faith dropkicked the can into Nicole's head before she could make a move.

E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!

Xander kicked Justin in the back as he started to come up, then drove his elbow into the small of his back. Before he could do anything more, however, Shane Douglas, Candido, and Bam Bam ran out. Xander saw them before they came in, so he ran to the ropes and did a dive over the ropes into all of the Triple Threat.

HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!

Unfortunately for him, Justin chose to join in on the attack. It wasn't long before all four guys had him in the ring, with Justin and Candido holding him back. Chastity gingerly came forward and snarled at him before low-blowing him, sending him to his knees. Candido and Justin forced him to the ground, where Bam Bam did a splash onto his back.

"You see, Harris," Douglas was shouting, "You see…this is what you get when you fuck with the Triple Threat!!"

_Walk_ by _Pantera_ came on, and Rob Van Dam and Sabu ran out, chairs in hand. Both leapt over the ropes and into Bigelow and Douglas, sending them down to the ground. Van Dam then did a Van-Daminator to Candido, sending him down to the mat. Sabu grabbed Douglas and put him into his camel clutch, holding a chair in front of his face. RVD did his thumbs pose, then did a springboard dropkick into Douglas.

Suddenly, the Dudleys came in and caught a surprised RVD, giving him the Dudley Death Drop. Sabu threw a chair at them in retaliation, but Big Dick Dudley caught it and slammed it into Sabu, sending him down to the mat.

_Enter Sandman_ came on as Sandman and Tommy Dreamer ran in, with Sandman automatically caning Big Dick. Tommy tried to slam a chair into D-Von, but Buh Buh caught him and the two gave him a 3-D. Spike then ran in, but Justin caught him up and did his That's Incredible tombstone piledriver to him.

_Survive If I Let You!_

Then, Taz's theme came on as Taz calmly made his way to the ring, his FTW Championship in hand and black towel covering his face. RVD held Sabu back and the Triple Threat, Dudleys, and Justin Credible scurried away as Taz entered the ring. He stared down at Douglas and motioned for the belt. He then turned to Sabu, who was still just barely being held back by RVD.

"Hey, Sabu," he shouted, "Your ass is showing!!"

Sabu finally got loose, but only for Fonzie to come up suddenly and grab him.

"Gimme that mic," Taz shouted, "Douglas!! You and your Triple Threat are going down, you rat bastard!! Credible, I got nothing to do with you, so get your punk-ass outta here before I choke you out!"

Justin lunged for the ring, only to be held back by Jason and Nicole as she came up. Faith jumped up and joined those in the ring, checking up on Xander as she did so.

"Oh, so that's the way you want it, huh, you little puke," Taz shouted, "Fine. At November to Remember, you and me, Shane, for the ECW World Heavyweight Championship!!"

WE WANT IT NOW!! WE WANT IT NOW!! 


	16. Chapter 14

Going to Extremes

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

ҖECWҖ

"Okay, gentlemen and ladies," Xander said, "Aces are wild, I am the high blind and you, Little Guido, are the low blind."

"Hey, I saw that," Tony Mamaluke said, "You were lookin' at my cards!!"

"No, I was not," Tommy said, "Faith, why in the Hell are we playing cards with these assholes?"

"Hey, cool it down, Dreamboat," Faith said, "Give these guys a break, they're pretty cool."

"Eh, listen to the lady, yeah," JT Smith said, more with his hands than his mouth.

"I swear to God, you guys are fuckin' annoying," Sandman said.

"Well, your music is," Faith agreed, turning to Big Guido who was hovering above them, "Why can't you guys upgrade or something? You come out to _That's Amore_ in ECW, that's just wrong."

"Well, what you have us come out to," Little Guido said, "We're the Full Blooded Italians, for God's sake! What Italian song could we come out to?"

"You know, Italians listen to more music than just _That's Amore_," Faith said, "Upgrade your tastes, guys! Like, uh, Guido, you're from Brooklyn, right? So, go with that! Pick something like…like _No Sleep Till Brooklyn_!"

"Oh, god, if New Jack were here right now, he'd raise Hell over a white-boy rap band," Sandman said, causing all to laugh.

"You know," JT said, "The little _bambina_ does have a point. Just because we're Italian doesn't mean we gotta limit our tastes."

Guido and Mamaluke shared a look.

ҖECWҖ

Francine walked out of the store with a blank look on her face, carrying a plain brown paper bag in her hands. She quickly climbed back into her car, and drove away without any more thought.

ҖECWҖ

Xander leaned back into the wall, enjoying a moment's worth of rest. One disadvantage to living in the arena was that there was always a wall that needed to be fixed, always some shipment that needed to be brought in, always new tables to be brought in place of old ones. There was hardly ever a dull moment.

Him and Sandman had mostly worked on fixing the walls, as it was practically a given that the walls would be broken at least six times a week, if not more. They would occasionally be charged with restocking the candy machines, and, in the worst duty ever, cleaning up the pools of blood. Still, at least it was mostly human blood. Demon blood was horrible to clean up.

"Think fast," he looked up just in time to catch the errant beer that'd been thrown at him.

"Thank God I didn't miss that," Xander muttered, opening his arms to let Faith sit down in his lap, which she did.

"You have better coordination than that," Faith said, leaning into him and drinking her own beer, "You know Paul E's called a meeting for later today?"

"About what," Xander asked.

"What're you two doing sitting around," Sandman asked, pulling up a chair and sitting his feet upon the wall, "You should be working."

"And you are," Xander left the statement hanging.

"Doing whatever I damn well please," Sandman said with a laugh, enjoying a smoke.

"Sounds like fun," Faith said, "So, you heard about the meeting?"

"Oh, yeah," Sandman said with a grin, "Apparently, a bunch of people've gotten offers from WCW to join up with them."

"WCW," Faith asked, "Isn't that where Hogan and Nash are, like, suckin' management's cocks to get ahead?"

Sandman and Xander spat out their beers at that, laughing up a storm. If either of them had been paying attention, they would've noticed that the smile on Sandman's face wasn't quite reaching his eyes.

ҖECWҖ

"Alright, everyone," Paul E said, "Let's get this straight…anyone who's gotten an offer from WCW, if you accept it…you are dead to me!"

Faith jumped back a little at that, then leaned over to Tommy.

"What's up his ass?" Tommy stared at her for a moment before sighing.

"Paul used to work for WCW," Tommy said, "They mistreated him and most of those who worked there…to him, if you join WCW, you're joining the Nazis."

"If you choose," Paul E continued, "To abandon all of us who have worked so hard to get to where we are, to leave us behind in the pursuit of more money, when we are on the cusp of a breakthrough to national syndication, then stand up and say so now! If you're going to stab us, don't stab us in the back!!"

No one did anything for a long time. Finally, Paul got tired of it and pulled out an envelope.

"WCW sent this one to the arena," Paul said, "It's addressed to Xander Harris. Without doubt, inside is an offer to join WCW!"

Paul walked through the crowd to Xander's location, putting him on the spot.

"Xander," Paul said, a harsh tone in his voice, "Are you going to leave us? Are you going to abandon ECW and join that heartless, crappy, pathetic promotion of redneck hicks and talentless hacks!!"

Xander stared down at Paul, a snarl on his features, before snatching the letter away from him and ripping it to shreds.

"I want to make this quite clear to you, Paul E," Xander said with a growl, "When ECW gets to nationals, I plan on leaving, because I never wanna be on that kinda TV…but, if I were in the business to stay, I would not join WCW!"

"E-C-DUB," someone started up quietly, before it slowly began to grow. Eventually, it grew to the point where nearly everybody was screaming it.

"ENOUGH," Bam Bam Bigelow bellowed out, bringing the attention to him, "YOU ALL ARE A BUNCH OF IDIOTS!!"

Bam Bam was stared at as though he had grown two heads.

"I have been in this business for a long time," Bam Bam shouted, "And, I have never worked in a place like this! Shoddy, run-down, bingo hall! I have kids to feed, and bad checks have been written to me! This place isn't worth it, and you, Paul E, are not worth it! No matter how many people you brainwash into working for you, you will never be worth it, and this place will crumble with you in charge!!"

Paul E stared up at Bam Bam, no fear whatsoever in his eyes. Bam Bam stared down at him for a long moment, before Shane Douglas interfered, getting between Bam Bam and Paul E.

"Damn it, Bigelow," Douglas shouted, "What the Hell do you think you're doing!? WCW will spit you up, and Flair will make damn sure that you never ever get anywhere in that company!!"

"So," Bigelow said, "At least they'll pay me more and I'll be in a more secure environment than this! My contract comes to an end after the next pay-per-view, and believe me, the second it ends, I'm on a flight to a WCW event!"

With that, Bam Bam turned around and walked away. Everyone started to look around at each other, shocked by the display. Slowly, however, someone came to the front, his eyes cast down in something like sadness.

"…Mikey," Paul said in disappointment, "Mikey, why?"

"They offered me more money, Paul," Mikey said, "And, I need to get my name out there. I love ECW, and I appreciate everything you've ever done for me…everything all of you have ever done for me…but, I need to move on."

"…When," Paul asked.

"After the next pay-per-view," Mikey Whipwreck said.

"…Mikey," Paul said, grasping his shoulders, "I wish you the best of luck in WCW…I hope it was worth it."

Paul backed away, then turned around and walked out. Tommy was right behind him, an angry look on his face.

"Come on," Xander said to Faith and Sandman, "We need to make sure Paul doesn't do anything stupid."

Xander and Faith went after him quickly, catching up to Tommy and Paul.

"What do you think you're doing, Paul," Tommy said, "That's not the way we've ever done things! Look at Austin, we let him go with best wishes, and we did the same with the Public Enemy! That wasn't right!"

"You don't get it, do you, Tommy," Paul said, "We are under attack here! WCW and WWF want us dead, and they're both trying to kill us!! Sure, things're better since DCW came in, but that can't last forever! Every single person that leaves us is abandoning us and stabbing us in the back! We can't have that!!"

"Paul," Tommy shouted, only for Heyman to turn and walk away. Tommy sagged down at that, upset by Paul's attitude.

"You ok, big guy," Xander asked, clapping his shoulder.

"…Paul's a paranoid son of a bitch," Tommy growled, "But, he has to be…he's fighting for ECW."

"E's insane," Faith said, "I mean, putting boytoy on the spot like that…it's just wrong."

"It's his business," Xander said.

"…You really don't care about ECW," Tommy said.

"No, I really don't," Xander said with a shrug, "I'm sorry, Tommy, but ECW, while I'm grateful for everything it's done for me, it's like a pit stop for me…pretty soon, I plan on moving on. Probably after Guilty as Charged, when I'll have enough to buy a used car. And, if I win the TV Championship, I plan on vacating it afterwards."

"…What about me," Faith asked, "Where do I fit in?"

"If you wanna go with me, there's always a seat open," Xander said, grinning at her, "If you wanna stay here, that's fine, I'll call the arena at every city I stop in."

"…Thank you," Faith said, giving him a giant hug.

"…Well, I hope you change your mind," Tommy said, "But, if you don't, I understand."

"You don't hate me for leaving," Xander asked.

"Nope," Tommy said, "Hell, one day, I wanna have more than this. I wanna have a family, a life outside of this. But, that's later. Right now, I want this and I want to keep this…I want ECW to succeed. It's…it's my child."

"…Wow," Faith said, "That's…weird, but, in a good way."

Xander and Tommy both started laughing at that.

"Oh, man," Tommy said, "I may hate Bam Bam and Mikey for doing it, but they're doing what's right. They need to look out for themselves."

"Really," Xander asked, "What about WCW? You don't sound like Paul when it comes to them." 

"Paul hates WCW," Tommy said with a smile, "Me? I love those bastards. They took Raven from my life."


	17. Chapter 15

Going to Extremes

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

ҖECWҖ

"Alright, ladies and gentlemen, and monsters of all kinds, shapes, and materials," Willy was shouting, "Allow me to welcome you to an experience the likes of which you have never seen before…this, my friends, is D-C-W, DEMONIC CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING!!"

Every demon in the bar roared out in approval. Willy couldn't have been happier, even if he had been drugged. ECW had quickly become a permanent part of his bar, thanks to a special subscription after the Heatwave pay-per-view, and now, DCW was in, giving his patrons yet another reason to come and party.

The program came on, with the intro set to _Welcome to the Jungle_ by _Guns N Roses._

ҖECWҖ

_Judgment Day_ by _Van Halen_ came on, and Xander and Joey Styles walked out from the ramp, to a large amount of boos.

**MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!!**

ҖECWҖ

"Holy shit," one of the vamps shouted, "It's Xander Harris! He used to work with the Slayer!!"

Suddenly, every demon in the bar was paying attention to the two humans. Willy really didn't know how to take this, as the Slayer had been on a manhunt for Harris since he'd left. Angel, too, after returning from Hell, had been looking for him, though not nearly as hard as he could have.

Things just got very interesting.

ҖECWҖ

"Hello, everybody, and welcome to the first broadcast of DCW, Demonic Championship Wrestling! I'm Joey Styles, the play-by-play commentator for ECW, Extreme Championship Wrestling, and with me is former demon hunter, the Hardcore King of Extreme-"

"Still don't know how I got that nickname," Xander interrupted.

"….Xander Harris, everybody," Joey said with a laugh, "And, we are very proud to help in this program tonight. I just wish they'd quit calling us meat!"

"Never will, Joey," Xander said, "We are the insects here, my friend, and they won't ever be hesitant to remind us of that fact."

ҖECWҖ

For most of the night, Joey would describe the moves the demons were doing and Xander would talk about what kind of demons they were and describe some of their culture. While the DCW fans were far from appreciative, they had slowly begun to accept the two humans, as inferiors, but, they still accepted them.

Then, an announcer from ECW came out, with a microphone in his hand, about to announce the main event.

"Good Evening," the announcer said, "The following contest is set for one-fall with a twenty minute time limit!" 

_Metallica's Fade to Black_ came on, and after a few moments, Kang the Valore walked out, with the DCW Championship in hand.

**VALORE!! VALORE!! VALORE!! KANG VALORE!!**

"Introducing first, weighing in tonight at four hundred and eight-six pounds, from the Meggedan Region of Sera-Toth in West Africa, he is the current Demonic Championship Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion, this is…KANG THE VALORE!!"

**VALORE!! VALORE!! KANG VALORE!!**

Kang took off his belt, holding it up for the audience to see. He wasn't smiling or anything, intently focused on the match.

_AC/DC's You Shook Me All Night Long_ came on, and Faith walked out to a chorus of thunderous boos, dressed in her usual jeans and ripped up _Van Halen_ T-shirt.

**MEAT!! MEAT!! MEAT!!**

**MU-TI-LATE HER!! MU-TI-LATE HER!!**

"Some signature demonic chants from the crowd this evening," Joey commented, sounding sick to his stomach.

"It's a damn good thing no one's allowed to kill in here," Xander said, "If they could, I would honestly have drugged Faith to keep her from competing."

"Well, it is your fault that she agreed to this," Joey reminded him, "OW!!"

"Don't say stupid things, Joey," Xander chastised him.

"And, from the streets of Boston, Massachusetts, and Extreme Championship Wrestling, she is the Vampire Slayer, this…is…FAITH!!"

**MEAT!! MEAT!! MEAT!!**

The match started off quickly, with Kang launched out at Faith, who just barely avoided his clothesline. He turned around and kicked her in the stomach, launching her into the ropes and back to him. He quickly caught her and slammed her back into the mat with a spinebuster!

**VALORE!!**

**MAR-QOO!! MAR-QOO!! MAR-QOO-RAA!!**

"Oh, my God," Joey Styles said with a gasp, "Is she dead?"

"Nope," Xander said calmly, though he was panicking on the inside.

Faith slowly got to her feet and, as she did so, she quickly dodged the right hook that Kang had launched at her. She launched a devastating kick to Kang's shin, causing him to back up slight. She followed through with a series of lefts and rights to his body, causing him to back up even further, before finally letting loose with a backhand that sent her flying into the turnbuckle. He followed through with a crushing clothesline that made her into a rag doll.

**VALORE!! VALORE!! KANG VALORE!!**

Kang pulled her up and set her up for a powerbomb, but, as he lifted her up to his head, she wiggled free of his grip and grabbed his neck, bringing him down in a hellacious DDT.

"Great counter there, by Faith," Styles said, "Kang looked like he coulda put her away with that powerbomb, but Faith managed to take him down."

"It's not over yet, Joey," Xander said, "Faith needs to press this advantage, find a steel chair or a rebar so that she can really bring the pain!"

Faith quickly got up and dropped her elbow onto Kang's throat, making him cough up a storm.

**MAR-QOO!! MAR-QOO!! MAR-QOO-RAA!!**

"The fans are chanting for Kang to get up and defend himself," Joey said, "It seems as though they're starting to doubt their champion!"

Faith left the ring quickly and started searching underneath the ring. She pulled out a set of tables and quickly double-stacked them. She then searched beneath the ring again and pulled out a container of liter fluid.

"Oh, shit," Xander said, standing up, "She's planning on putting this to an end real quick."

She doused the entire top table in the fluid, and pulled out a set of matches, lighting it on fire as quickly as possible. Then, she went back into the ring and picked up Kang, clotheslining him into the turnbuckle. She lifted him up onto the top rope, but he pulled her up and looked like he was about to Superplex her into the table…

Instead, she got loose and dropkicked him into the fire and through both tables, causing him to roll onto his neck and into the guardrail!!

"HOLY SHIT," both Xander and Joey Styles shouted.

The demons went quiet for a moment, so shocked by seeing Faith dropkick him into the tables that they didn't know how to react. Slowly, however, a chant sprang up.

**MAR-QUI SLAY-ER!! MAR-QUI SLAY-ER!!**

"Well, it seems as though Faith just won the respect of all the demons here," Joey said.

"That makes sense," Xander said, "Mar-Qui is the traditional phrase for someone who has proven their worth. Faith, cudos!! I'm just glad you didn't go through the tables!!"

Faith came to her feet quickly, largely ignoring the chants from the demons. She quickly went down to the floor and dragged Kang back into the ring, where she covered him.

ONE…TWO…THR-

Kang just barely got his shoulder up.

VALORE!! VALORE!! KANG VALORE!!

"Well, Kang just proved to us that demons are stronger than most humans," Xander said, "I don't think I could've survived something like that!!" 

Faith sat up in disbelief, trying to think of another way that she could end this when Kang suddenly leapt up and grabbed her in a chokehold. He lifted her up over his head and slammed her back down to the mat below.

"Chokeslam," Joey shouted, "Kang damn near put her through the ring!!"

Kang then did something that shocked the hell out of both Joey and Xander…he put her in a figure-four leglock!!

VALORE!!

Faith struggled to break free, but quickly realized that Kang was far too strong. She tried to drag herself over to the ropes, but Kang wasn't budging an inch. Slowly, as she struggled to hold on, she realized that this was it. She would not win unless she got out of the hold, and she knew that she couldn't. Gathering herself up against the pain, she tapped out.

"Faith is tapping," Joey shouted out as the ref called for the bell, "After kicking him through two tables, one of which was on FIRE, Faith taps out." 

"A smart thing, too," Xander said, "With the way Kang had her positioned, there was no chance in hell she was getting out of it."

Kang let her up as the demons cheered for him, then helped her to her feet.

"Slayer," Kang said, "You have demonstrated great skills in combat…I don't know what to say, other than…well fought!!"

"…Thanks," Faith said, "You, too."

MAR-QUI SLAY-ER!! MAR-QUI SLAY-ER!!

ҖECWҖ

"Faith," Xander said as he ran up, "Are you ok?"

"Yeah," Faith said, running some ice over her legs, "Just in a lot of pain…nothing big."

"Come on," Xander said, offering her his shoulder to hang onto, "We're going out tonight!"

ҖECWҖ

Angel stared up at the television screen with a mixture of shock and doubt. He swore to God that that was Xander's voice that he heard, but, he hadn't seen him. Sighing, he turned around and headed out, deciding then and there that he needed to speak to someone.


	18. Chapter 16

Going to Extremes

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

ҖECWҖ

ECW came on the air from Baltimore, Maryland, and a promo from Taz was on.

"Douglas, you son of a bitch," Taz said with a snarl, "I'm gonna choke you out! Sabu, I'm gonna fuck you up!! But, tonight…the 'Hardcore' King of Extreme, the 'X-man,' Xander Harris…you snot, you punk, you are going to tap out or choke till you're blue in the face!

"Beat me if you can…SURVIVE!!"

ҖECWҖ

"Tonight, Tommy Dreamer goes one-on-one with me," Chris Candido said, "Things've been getting weird here in ECW…the Triple Threat is teaming up with the Dudleys, Bam Bam is leaving, and Shane's thinking of adding Justin Credible! So many big things are happening at once, and it's changing the scope of ECW…possibly forever. I wonder where my place will be when this is over."

ҖECWҖ

Xander leaned back in the stairwell, with a blinking light over him, shrouding him in darkness at times.

"I am a mystery," he said, "I am the conquistador of our extreme world…I am the comfortador of the lost and the weary…I'm also quite insane."

He leaned forward, shrouding his face even moreso in blinking darkness.

"Taz, you get off on pain…it makes you happy. You are a vicious, sadistic, low-life that deserves nothing more to be found in a ditch with a hole in his head…"

He smiled a horrifying smile.

"You and I are going to get along just fine."

ҖECWҖ

"Nicole Bass," Faith said, leaning back in her chair and putting her feet up against the brick wall, "You are a steroid abusing freak that has no business in ECW…you belong in WWF or WCW, where people like Chyna are getting fucked all the time. Trust me, bitch, you got nothing on me."

She pushed herself off the wall and flipped over the chair, coming onto her feet.

"Bass," Faith said, pulling out a set of matches, "You, you freaky bitch, are going to suffer."

She bent over and pulled out a bottle of whiskey.

"You," she said, putting a rag into the whiskey, "Are going to feel pain the likes of which you've never imagined."

She lit the rag.

"You are going to burn, bitch!"

She started walking off and casually threw the bottle behind her, exploding on the chair that she had been sitting on.

ҖECWҖ

Tommy landed on the ground as he slammed Candido down in a _Tommyhawk_, and quickly rolled him over for the cover.

**ONE…TWO…THREE!!**

Tommy rolled off Candido as _Man in the Box_ came on, only to receive a chair to the head as Douglas and D-von entered the ring, with Big Dick and Buh Buh standing near the front in case anyone came to interfere. Douglas lifted him up and D-von clotheslined him to the floor.

Candido looked on, pissed off that no one had come to check on him.

_Judgment Day_ came on and Xander and Spike Dudley ran in, Xander armed with his trusty boomstick. Spike dropkicked Buh Buh in the gonads, and Xander decapitated Big Dick with a sick shot from his pool stick, literally breaking it in half.

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Spike and Xander quickly leapt into the ring, dodging Candido and D-von, and both dropkicked them outside the ring. The four of them tried to run into the ring, but RVD and Sabu both came through the audience and slammed chairs into their faces.

Douglas tried to slip out the ring, but Tommy caught him, holding him in a headlock. The fans cheered wildly for him to put him down, and Tommy was more than happy to oblige. RVD and Sabu laid down chairs for him, and all four of them did his crucifix pose.

"E-C-FUCKIN'-W," Tommy shouted as he DDT-ed him onto the chairs and quickly stood up.

_Man in the Box_ came on again and Tommy did his crucifix pose along with the rest of them.

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

ҖECWҖ

_Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck_ came on as Nicole Bass made her entrance, with Chastity and Jason at her side. She quickly entered the ring, all business as she waited for Faith's arrival.

_You Shook Me All Night Long_ came on as Faith made her entrance, to thunderous applause from the crowd. She was dressed in her leather pants and a ripped up _Black Sabbath_ shirt.

**FAITH!! FAITH!! FAITH!! GOTTA HAVE…FAITH!!**

"Well, that's probably the most unoriginal chant our ECW fans've ever given us," Joey Styles said, "Though, I tend to agree with them…Xander, don't kick my ass if you're watching this!"

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is schedule for one-fall," the announcer said, "In the corner to my right, from New York City, this is NICOLE BASS!!"

**SUCKS ASS!!**

"We might wanna edit that one later on," Joey said with a laugh.

"And, in the corner to my left, from the streets of Boston, Massachusetts, she is the Dark Slayer, this…is…FAITH!!"

**FUCK 'ER UP, SLAY-ER, FUCK 'ER UP!!**

"Well, the fans are quite obviously behind Faith as we begin this match," Joey said.

Faith wasted no time and landed a devastating punch to Nicole's chest, sending her down to the floor. As Faith went for a cover, Nicole caught her in an armbar. Faith rolled through with it and countered with an armbar of her own. Nicole scampered over to the ropes and, as Faith was letting go, tackled her to the ground. She began to pummel her, but Faith quickly pushed her off and kicked her in the stomach, pushing her back to the ropes. Faith moved quicker than anyone thought possible and bounced off the ropes to do a clothesline, but Nicole saw her coming and ducked down, bringing the top rope down with her. Faith managed to grab onto the rope and stay on the apron, and punched Nicole down to the ground. Before she could press her advantage, however, Jason came up behind her and hit her in the back with a steel chair.

**FUCK 'ER UP, SLAY-ER, FUCK 'ER UP!!**

"Interesting that they still call Jason a girl," Joey noted.

Faith glared down at Jason, and he backed up a few steps. Faith used the ropes and did a slingshot lariat, sending Nicole back down to the ground. She quickly went for the pin.

**ONE…TW-**

Nicole shot up very fast, so fast that Faith lost her balance and was sent back to the ropes. Nicole was up quickly and started to stomp her down, but Faith did a legsweep, sending her back down to the ground. She quickly moved in and flipped her onto her stomach, then got on her back and pulled at her neck.

"Modified camel clutch from Faith," Joey noted with some surprise, "Nicole could tap at that."

She looked like she was about to, till Chastity came in and hit Faith in the back. Faith let go of Nicole and grabbed Chastity by the neck, lifting her up into the air.

"Oh, NOO," Joey shouted.

Faith let her hang there for a moment, then slammed her down with a thunderous chokeslam that actually shook the ring!!

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Nicole tried for a clothesline, but Faith ducked it and kicked her in the stomach, then sent her down to the ground in a DDT. Pissed off now, Faith went back underneath the ring and pulled out a ladder and a table. She quickly set up the table, then went into the ring with the ladder. She quickly set it up, then went back to Nicole, punching her in the head, dazing her. Jason made to run in and help, but Faith superkicked him to the mat.

Faith lifted Nicole up in a fireman's carry, then began to climb the ladder.

"Oh, shit," Joey said, "Faith, I know they pissed you off, but for God's sake, don't kill her!!"

**FAITH!! FAITH!! FAITH!! GOTTA HAVE…FAITH!!**

Faith reached the top of the ladder and stood there, staring out into the audience. She smiled and rolled off the ladder, sending Nicole first through the table.

"OH, MY GOD," Joey shouted.

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Faith quickly got up, thankful to God that she was a Slayer, and tossed Nicole into the ring, quickly covering her.

**ONE…TWO…THREE!!**

"Ladies and gentlemen, your winner…the Dark Slayer, FAITH!!"

_You Shook Me All Night Long_ came on as Xander ran out, lifting Faith into the air in a hug. Faith laughed at waved to the fans, blowing kisses at them as they sang along to the song.

ҖECWҖ

The lights went out in the arena as Taz's music came on. A white FTW light was shining on the ring, and orange lights were coming from all over.

_Survive If I Let You!!_

Taz came out, dressed in his usual singlet with the towel over his head and his FTW World Heavyweight Championship in hand. He calmly walked over to the ring and gotten inside, taking the towel off and extending his arms to the crowd. He moved over to one of the corners and set down his belt, then folded his arms and stared dispassionately at the entranceway.

"Well, Taz appears to be in his usual mood," Joey said, "The bastard just does not smile!!"

_Judgment Day_ came on and Xander came out, dressed in his usual jeans and a ripped up _A-Team_ shirt.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the following is a non-title match scheduled for one-fall," the announcer said, "Introducing first, from the Red Hook section of Brooklyn, New York, he is the unrecognized FTW World Heavyweight Champion, the Human Suplex Machine…THIS IS TAZ!!"

"And, introducing next, from la Boca del Inferno, California, he is the Hardcore King of Extreme, the X-Man…THIS IS XANDER HARRIS!!"

The bell rang, and Xander and Taz began to circle up. They slowly began to lock up, and Taz got in an armbar. Xander rolled through with it and countered into one of his own, twisting around to Taz's back and holding him there. Taz pushed himself into the ropes, forcing Xander to let go and Taz clotheslined him to the ground. Xander quickly got up and avoided Taz's Brooklyn Boot, grabbed it as he did so, and whipped his leg around, forcing Taz down to the ground. Xander held onto the leg and sat back on Taz, and the fans applauded the show of real wrestling.

"Nice combination of counters and offensive maneuvers from both Taz and Xander," Joey said, "Xander is a natural at this, but I didn't know that he could do wrestling like that. He managed to counter Taz's Brooklyn Boot into a single-leg Californian crab, a very difficult thing to do."

Taz managed to get to the ropes, causing Xander to let go. He quickly came to his feet and stayed in place, examining Xander. Slowly, the two circled up again and Xander got a side-headlock in, then snapmared him to the mat. Taz countered out of it, grabbing Xander's head with his calves and bringing him back. Xander pushed out of it and quickly got to his feet, but Taz caught him and gave him a belly-to-belly Tazplex!

ҖECWҖ

He watched from inside the audience in a mixture of surprise and disbelief. He had thought that it would be a different Xander when he'd came here, but to actually see him…HERE! In ECW!! It was nothing short of amazing.

He watched on as Xander and Taz fought, even as he fought to make his way to the front. He had to see this for himself, and he had to insure that Xander saw him. This was just too good to pass up.

ҖECWҖ

Xander Irish whipped Taz into the steel guardrail, then picked up a chair and pelted him with it, sending Taz across the railing and into the concrete.

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Xander set up the chair and went back and grabbed his stick. He held it up.

"THIS IS MY BOOMSTICK," he screamed

**BOOMSTICK!! BOOMSTICK!! BOOMSTICK!!**

He waited till just the right moment, then, when Taz had finally gotten up, he sprinted over to the chair and leapt onto it, then used that chair to propel himself at least six feet into the air and he slammed his pool stick into Taz's back and head, shattering it into a thousand pieces.

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!**

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

"Xander," someone shouted, "Hey, Xander!!"

Xander leaned against the guardrail, looking around for whoever it was that had shouted out to him, till his eyes caught sight of someone that he hadn't seen in months.

"Jonathan," Xander asked as the small kid came up to him, "What the Hell are you doing here?"

"Well, I," Jonathan started, only to look up and say, "GET DOWN!!"

Xander wisely followed his advice, causing the chair that had been aimed at him to hit the guardrail. He hit the floor and saw Douglas, Credible, and Candido leap over the guardrail. Credible and Candido began to double-team him and, no matter how hard he tried to get up, he couldn't get them off him. Douglas, meanwhile, went after Taz, hitting him repeatedly with a chair.

Jonathan stood back and, against his better judgment, decided to help Xander out. He pushed someone out of their chair and swung it with all his strength at Justin Credible…who merely looked at him and pushed him away.

"Dumbass," Justin said.

Before he could continue on with the beat down, Sabu's music came on, causing all three members of the Triple Threat to look up. Sabu came out of nowhere and did his triple-jump splash from the ring, slamming into both Credible and Candido. Douglas made to come at him, but Taz caught him and applied the Tazmission to him. Xander quickly got up and tossed Credible across the guardrail, with Sabu doing the same to Candido. Xander turned back to Jonathan.

"Thanks for trying," Xander said, "Meet me outside after the event!"

"Right," Jonathan agreed, backing away.

Xander and Sabu moved quickly, working together to set up a table. Xander and Sabu tossed them both onto the table, then Sabu set up a chair. Xander, feeling a bit daring, grabbed a chair of his own and set it up. Sabu stared at him, his eyes asking what he was doing.

"Just to try it," Xander said with a grin, "Whenever you're ready!"

Sabu nodded once, then took off, using the ropes to help his speed. Xander sped up to catch up, and both jumped from their chairs, to the ropes, and leapt back, both performing perfect triple-jump moonsaults onto the table, sending both Candido and Credible to the mat.

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!**

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

**SA-FUCKIN'-BU!! SA-FUCKIN'-BU!!**

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

"Oh, my God," Joey said, "Sabu and Xander just did perfect triple-jump moonsaults…that's nothing short of amazing."

Suddenly, Taz leapt in and, just as Xander was getting up, Taz locked in the Tazmission. Immediately, Xander began to lose consciousness as Taz closed off his trachea, insuring that no oxygen would come in. Slowly, Xander began to sag, and Taz forced him down to the floor, where he wrapped his legs around his waist, forcing any leftover air out of his lungs. The ref came in and lifted his arm, the dropped it.

**ONE!!**

He did it again.

**TWO!!**

He did it once more.

**THR-**

Xander held it up, signifying that he was still alive. Taz got pissed off and applied more pressure and, as Xander saw spots form, he felt a burst of adrenalin come through him. He forced Taz onto his back and pushed on the mat with his feet to keep him down.

**ONE…TWO…THR-**

Taz quickly got up, but that was all that Xander needed. With his last bit of strength, Xander twisted around and kicked Taz directly in the back of his neck, sending him down to the ground. Xander tried to gather up the strength to cover him, but he simply couldn't do it. Turns out, he didn't have to, as Sabu dragged him over to Taz and covered him.

**ONE…TWO…THREE!!**

"Oh, boy," Joey said, "Sabu dragged Xander and laid him across Taz, covering him. That is going to send Taz over the deep end."

Taz seemed to gain new life as rage entered him. RVD and Faith came down, and Faith immediately went to check on Xander. RVD held back Sabu, making sure that he didn't attack him.

"SABU," Taz shouted into the microphone, "YOU STEPPED OVER THE LINE, YOU BASTARD!! NEXT WEEK, YOU AND ME ARE GOING ONE ON ONE!! AND, YOU ROBBED THE KID OF A FAIR MATCH, EVEN IF HE HAD LOST!! THE WEEK AFTER NEXT, WE'RE HAVING A THREE WAY DANCE FOR MY FTW CHAMPIONSHIP!!

"AND, REMEMBER, SABU, HARRIS…BEAT ME IF YOU CAN…SURVIVE!!"

**IF I LET YOU!!**


	19. Chapter 17

Going to Extremes

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

ҖECWҖ

"What the Hell are you doing in Philly, Jonathan," Xander asked.

After meeting him outside the arena, he, Faith, and Tommy had driven to an all-night burger joint. Jonathan looked like he had been roughed up a few times, and as though he'd only eaten a few times that month.

"I graduated high school a year early," Jonathan said, munching on his burger, "So, I decided to take a year off and tour the world. Dad wanted me to go to college right away, but…I dunno, I wasn't ready for that. Besides, I was in a bad place last year, I needed to get away from it all."

Xander nodded his head, understanding that whole state of mind.

"How did you get here," Xander asked.

"Bus," Jonathan said, "I met a few guys in a bar who told me about ECW, and I just had to come and check it out. Especially after hearing there was a guy called 'Xander Harris' working there. Everyone thinks you're dead."

"Good," Xander said cryptically.

"Willow's doing alright," Jonathan said, assuming he'd want to know, "She and Oz are still together…she just seems…sad, most of the time. Buffy, though…she just seems like she's defensive all the time. I've heard her and Cordelia got at it a few times, and from the way they fight, Buffy kicked you out or something."

"Yeah, that sounds like her," Xander said with a cynical laugh, "She hasn't mentioned me at all, has she?"

"No, not really," Jonathan said, "Least, not that I've seen. Far as I know, they all act like you were never even there."

ҖECWҖ

Cordelia got home early that night, too tired to deal with anything at the moment. She sat down on her bed and started to undress…till she heard something start strumming on the door. Startled, she reached over to her dresser and pulled out a stake, then headed over to her window.

"Angel," she screamed, "Stay back, or I swear to God, I will stake your ass!!"

"You do know that I'm better now, right," Angel asked.

"Yeah, because_ Buffy _says so," Cordelia said sarcastically.

"…Look, can I just talk to you," Angel asked, "I'll stay on the outside, I swear."

"…Fine," Cordelia said, pulling up a chair and sitting down, stake still in hand, "Speak."

"…Ok," Angel said, leaning against the barrier, "You know what happened to Xander, don't you?"

"Of course I do," Cordelia said right away, "But, you're never going to find out from me. What, you wanna know so you and your psycho girlfriend can go and kill him for sending you to Hell when you were planning to send us all to hell to satisfy your alter-ego's perverted pleasures," she rolled her eyes, "As if."

Angel stared at her, genuinely shocked, then said, "Is he working for a professional wrestling group in Philadelphia?"

Cordelia deflated, shocked that he knew.

"How did you find out," she asked.

"Willy," he said, "He has ECW playing every week, and Xander does commentary for their other promotion, DCW."

"…So, what now," she asked, ignoring the rest of it.

"…If you mean, am I going to tell 'my psycho girlfriend' about him," Angel paused, then said, "No."

"…Why," Cordelia asked.

"Because, he saved the world," Angel said, "…I know that you cared about him, a lot…if you want, maybe you and I could…"

"Are you asking me out," Cordelia asked, her tone clearly conveying what her answer would be.

"No," Angel said, "I just know that you care about him, and that you might want to see him…I'd be happy to escort you."

"…You're saying that just to make yourself feel better, aren't you," Cordelia asked.

"…Yeah," Angel admitted, "It's my fault that Xander had to leave…"

"…When does ECW come on?"

ҖECWҖ

Jonathan walked through the arena with a giddy smile on his face. It had been about a week since meeting up with Xander, and he'd been spending a lot of time with him and Faith. The two made a good item. Tommy had also taken him under his wing, letting him stay in his house so long as he helped out with cleaning and taking care of Beulah. He had asked Tommy why he hadn't told the police about it, but Tommy had just laughed.

"Kid, this is one of the truths of this business," Tommy had said, "We don't go to cops to solve our problems…we solve them ourselves."

Jonathan turned a corner, looking for Xander, only to run into someone.

"Oh, sorry," Jonathan said, looking up into the person's face…then gasping as he realized just who he had run into.

"Well, well, well," Justin Credible said as he stalked closer, "If it isn't the piece of shit that tried to take me out. You just signed your death warrant, bitch!"

"Try it," Jonathan turned around as Xander and Faith walked up, "Come on, Justin, just try it!!"

Justin looked as though he wanted to, but he took a glance around him and, not seeing any of his entourage or the Triple Threat around, he backed down.

"What is the midget to you, anyway," Justin asked, feeling the need to validate himself.

"Jonathan," Xander said, "Is my friend."

"And, he's our manager," Faith put in.

"I am," Jonathan asked, looking up at her. After seeing her wink, he turned to Justin with a smile and said, "I am!"

"…Good luck with that," Justin said, laughing as he turned around.

"I'm your manager," Jonathan asked again as he turned back to Xander and Faith.

"He is," Xander asked, "I mean, no offense Jono, but I don't know if you can handle this world."

"None taken," Jonathan said, "I personally agree. I'm not cut out for this!!"

"I disagree," Faith said immediately, "Jono, you did defend Xander by attacking Justin, and you are smart as Hell! You're not a fighter, we get that, but you have other skills. You said your specialty is business, you can help Paul E, have a permanent job here!"

"…She does have a point," Xander said, "Besides, we can train you up to defend yourself. Hell, I'm sure that Taz wouldn't mind. Hell, Taz is only an inch taller than you, and he nearly won in our match last week!"

"…You're right, aren't you," Jonathan said with a smile, "Taz could train me…you could, too. I'd stop being the shrimp, I'd be the badass…I'm in!!"

"Cool," Xander said with a smile, "Now, c'mon, tonight we face Candido and his girlfriend, Tammy Lynn Sytch."

ҖECWҖ

_Back in Black_ came on as Chris Candido and Tammy Lynn Sytch walked out, both with oddly serious looks on their faces. They quickly entered the ring, without much fanfare, and waited for their opponents.

_Born to Raise Hell_ came on and the crowd waited for a moment till the three came out. Faith came out first, dressed in her leather pants with a ripped up Alice Cooper shirt on. Next came Xander, dressed in his usual jeans and a ripped up _Halloween_ shirt on, with Michael Myers' mask on it with the phrase 'purely and simply evil' below it.

Jono came out next, dressed very similarly to Xander and Faith, in jeans and a black shirt with Captain America's shield on it.

"A very uniquely dressed crowd Xander runs with," Joey said, "Well, from what I'm to understand, the new guy is Jonathan 'Jono' Levinson, and he has taken on the duties of being their manager…poor bastard."

All three got into the ring and, when Xander signaled, all three did the 'X' pose.

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

**FAITH!! FAITH!! FAITH!! GOTTA HAVE…FAITH!!**

"Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing first, from New Jersey, they are members of the Triple Threat, this is TAMMY LYNN SYTCH AND CHRIS CANDIDO!!"

The fans booed and cheered for them.

"And, introducing next, being accompanied to the ring by Jono, from the streets of Boston, Massachusetts, she is the Dark Slayer, this…is…FAITH!!"

The fans went nuts for her.

"And, from la Boca del Inferno, California, he is the Number One Contender for the ECW World Television Title, the Hardcore King of Extreme, the X-Man, this…is…XANDER HARRIS!!"

**X-F-J!! X-F-J!! X-F-J!!**

"X-F-J," Xander asked, leaning over to Faith.

"Our initials," Jonathan supplied, "Xander, Faith, Jono…X-F-J."

"I think we have a stable on our hands, boytoy," Faith said with a grin, "Still, why do you come first?!"

"Ask them," Xander said, pointing to the fans and the bell rang.

Jono and Faith got behind the ropes as Xander and Candido circled up.

**FUCK HIM UP, X-MAN, FUCK HIM UP!!**

Xander went for a snapmare, but Candido pushed him away and bulldogged him to the ground. He quickly went for a legdrop, but Xander caught his leg and countered it into a single-leg Californian crab. Candido quickly got loose, however, and did an enzuigiri, sending Xander down to the mat. Candido went for another legdrop, but Xander got out of the way and, when Candido got up, Xander dropkicked him, sending him to the ropes. Candido used the momentum to launch another attack at Xander, which he avoided, and Xander clotheslined Candido to the ground as he came back around. Xander went for a cover, but Candido pushed him off before the ref could even begin. Candido locked in a headlock, then snapmared Xander to the floor. Xander struggled with it for a moment before getting to the ropes, causing Candido to let go.

Before he could make a move, however, Xander kicked Candido in the shins, falling him to one knee. Xander, while still on the ground, forced himself up and kicked Candido in the chest with both his feet, sending him down. Xander quickly got up and practically flew to the top rope, where he did a moonsault, staying on Candido for the cover.

**ONE…TW-**

Candido got his shoulder up.

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Xander quickly got up and tagged in Faith, much to the enjoyment of the crowd.

**FUCK HIM UP, SLAY-ER, FUCK HIM UP!!**

Faith immediately started working on Candido, throwing rights and lefts to the already softened chest. Candido went down quickly, and Faith went for a cover.

**ONE…TWO-**

Sytch got in and broke up the count. Faith glared at her before simply grabbing her and tossing her outside the ring. Candido caught her with a clothesline before she turned around and, in her daze, managed to lift her up and powerbomb her to the ground. Candido went for the cover, but Faith got up before he could even start. She locked in a triangle hold, cutting off the circulation of air to his brain. Candido struggled with her, but Faith refused to loosen up, though she made sure not to apply too much pressure and break his neck.

Eventually, Sytch got back in and hit her in the head with a chair, forcing her to loosen up enough to let Candido out. Candido quickly got on top of her, and Sytch pressed down on him to help out.

**ONE…TW-**

Xander quickly got in and broke up the count, and he and Candido began to brawl. Sytch continued to pound on Faith with the chair, till Jono got in and stole the chair from her. Sytch tried to attack him, but Faith caught her and speared her to the ground.

"CAAATFIIIGHT," Joey yelled, "CAAAAAAAAATTTTTFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHTTTTT!!"

Xander set Candido up for a DDT, but slowed down as he noticed the rest of the Triple Threat coming down the ramp. He went ahead and finished Candido off, then got up, ready to fight, when he noticed Jono get up on the guardrail, lifting a rope with him.

As they were running, Douglas and Credible tripped over the rope, and fell through the ramp to the floor!!

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

"Jonathan," Xander shouted.

"I had to do something," Jono said with a smile, "So, I set up a trap!!"

Xander laughed at that, then pointed at Jonathan, signaling his thanks.

**JON-A-THAN!! JON-A-THAN!! JON-A-THAN!!**

"Well, Jono just scored one for the home team," Joey said, "And the fans are loving it!!"

Xander quickly pulled Candido up and set him up in a DDT, then twisted around as he continued to hold him, and leapt back, slamming Candido's head into the mat, then quickly rolled him over for the win.

**ONE…TWO…THREE!!**

"And Xander Harris wins via the X-Factor," Joey Styles said, coming up with the name on the spot.

Faith got back into the ring and helped Xander up as _Born to Raise Hell_ came on, with Jono quickly climbing in. The three held their arms up, celebrating their victory.

**X-F-J!! X-F-J!! X-F-J!! X-F-J!! X-F-J!!**

ҖECWҖ

**ONE…TWO…THREE!!**

_Huka Blues_ came on as Sabu sat up. After a sick triple-jump legdrop to Taz, which had put him through two tables, Sabu had covered him for the pin.

"Good night, ladies and gentlemen," Joey Styles said, "We hope you enjoyed Extreme Championship Wrestling, be sure to tune in next week, same time, same place!!"


	20. Chapter 18

Going to Extremes

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

ҖECWҖ

Xander walked through the arena with a bit of anticipation as he prepared for the three-way dance against Sabu and Taz. The FTW Championship was on the line, and while he genuinely didn't care about titles, he would get a pay raise for every title he got.

As he walked on, he heard the sounds of someone fighting and began to move quicker, hoping that it wasn't someone he cared about…unless they were winning. Instead of which, he was greeted to a sight that he wanted to never see.

Bam Bam Bigelow was being held back by both Shane Douglas and Justin Credible as he tried to attack Kang the Valore, who was merely standing back and laughing at him.

"What the Hell is going on here," Xander demanded, running up to the DCW Champion, "No member of DCW is allowed in the arena, except on fight night! You know that!!"

"Oh, so I can't stake out the human competition," he said mockingly, "It has been agreed that some of yours might make the jump. Then, lo and behold, I ran into an old…friend."

"SON OF A BITCH," Bam Bam yelled suddenly, barely being held back, "I'LL KILL YOU!!"

"Calm the fuck down," Xander shouted, "What the Hell is going on here!?"

"Oh, myself and Bam Bam have met before," Kang said casually.

"He destroyed my car," Bam Bam shouted, "He left me stranded in the middle of the fucking desert!!"

"…I don't wanna know," Xander decided, "Listen, if you two wanna hash it out, do it later this week, make it the main event on DCW."

"Fine by me," Kang said with a smile.

"Get the fuck outta here, Kang," Xander said with a sigh, "If Paul E or W&H find out you were here, they'll raise some Hell."

"Whatever," Kang said with a sigh, "Have fun, human. I've faced Sabu before…he nearly killed me."

ҖECWҖ

_Huka Blues _came on as Sabu made his entrance, literally flying into the ring with a steel chair in hand. He ran back and forth for a moment to get himself limber as Fonzie blew his whistle. After a moment, he got down on the ground and pointed to the heavens.

_Judgment Day_ came on and Xander made his entrance, dressed in his usual jeans and a ripped up _Carrie_ t-shirt. Jono was right behind him, dressed in his jeans and a _Wolverine_ t-shirt, and he would act as his insurance to make sure that Fonzie didn't interfere.

_Survive If I Let You!!_

The lights went out and a white FTW light shined on the ground, and slowly, orange lights came on all over the arena. Finally, Taz came out, dressed in his usual singlet with his towel covering his face, holding the FTW Championship in his hand. Completely ignoring Sabu and Xander, he climbed into the ring and set the FTW Championship down, then took his towel off and glared dispassionately at the two before him.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," the announcer said, "The following contest is a three-way dance for the unrecognized FTW World Heavyweight Championship. Introducing first, from Bombay, Michigan, weighing in tonight at two-hundred twenty pounds, he is the ECW World Tag Team Champion, the Suicidal, Homicidal, Genocidal, Death-Defying Maniac of ECW, ladies and gentlemen…THIS IS SABU!!"

Sabu took off his hood and pointed at the sky as Fonzie blew his whistle.

**SA-FUCKIN'-BU!! SA-FUCKIN'-BU!! SA-FUCKIN'-BU!!**

"Introducing next, from la Boca del Inferno, California, weighing in tonight at two-hundred thirty-seven pounds, he is the Hardcore King of Extreme, the X-Man, ladies and gentlemen…THIS IS XANDER HARRIS!!"

Xander did his 'X' symbol.

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

"And, from the Red Hook section of Brooklyn, New York, weighing in tonight at two-hundred forty pounds, he is the unrecognized FTW World Heavyweight Champion, the Human Suplex Machine, ladies and gentlemen…THIS IS TAZ!!"

**TAZ!! TAZ!! TAZ!! TAZ!!**

"Alright, let's begin," Joey said as he watched the official check them down, "Now, the most important thing about this match is that it is an elimination style match. The first person pinned is eliminated from the match, and the match continues on with the other two going at it. If Taz gets eliminated first, then we will definitely have a new champion!"

The bell rang and Taz and Sabu immediately began to go at it. Xander wisely decided to let them tire themselves out and got out of the ring, looking around for a weapon. Taz suplexed Sabu to the mat and went for a cover, but Sabu kicked out before he could even begin. Taz then went for the Tazmission, but Sabu got to the ropes, effectively putting a stop to it. Taz, however, pulled Sabu away from the ropes and straddled his back, then began to lay into him with crossface punches, threatening to knock Sabu's teeth down his throat.

Sabu managed to get out from under him and dropkicked him in the knee, sending him down to the mat. Sabu then got on the ropes and did a springboard dropkick, sending Taz to the mat. Sabu did a springboard legdrop onto him, then went for the cover, but Taz got up before he could even begin. Before Sabu could continue, however, he received a chair to the head, courtesy of Xander. Xander laid the chair on Taz then did his own springboard legdrop off the ropes, followed by a simple elbow drop, grinding Taz's face into the chair. Sabu tried to catch Xander by surprise with a dropkick, but Xander simply ducked it and, when Sabu turned around, Xander nailed him with a superkick to the chin!

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Before Xander could move to Sabu, however, Taz caught him and gave him a German Tazplex, launching Xander over the ropes and to the ramp. Taz tossed the chair aside and went after him, but unbeknownst to him, Sabu had gotten the chair and was setting him up. As soon as Taz had gotten Xander to his feet, Sabu ran for the chair and jumped off of it onto the top rope, then crossbodied both Taz and Xander to the ramp.

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

**SA-FUCKIN'-BU!! SA-FUCKIN'-BU!! SA-FUCKIN'-BU!!**

"A beautiful triple-jump crossbody from Sabu," Joey commented, "So far, there is no real favorite here, but the match just began."

ҖECWҖ

"Wow," Cordelia said as she watched the match continue, "I didn't think Xander could ever hold his own against those guys."

"Sabu is a nutjob," Angel said as he drank his blood, "He's fought demons, vampires, anything you can name, and he's beaten damn near every one of them. Taz is the only pure-human that I know of that can beat him, aside from Rob Van Dam."

"Rob Van Dam," Cordelia asked, "Is he the stoner that can do legsplits?"

"Yeah," Angel said, "No relation to Jean-Claude, though."

"They do look kinda the same," Cordelia muttered, "Still, Xander's doing pretty good…and what's this 'Hail to the King' nonsense?"

"Xander acts a bit like Ash from _Evil Dead_," Angel explained.

"Oh," Cordelia accepted it, before shouting out with everyone else as something happened on TV.

ҖECWҖ

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!**

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Xander blinked away the pain as he looked up at the arena. After Taz had suplexed him onto a table, that hadn't broken, Sabu had taken it upon himself to jump onto him and break the table with him on it!

Xander struggled to his feet, using the guardrail to help him and, as he ignored the fans patting him on the back, he looked up into the ring. Taz had caught Sabu in his Tazmission and was trying to choke the life outta him. Xander leaned back on the guardrail and tried to catch his breath, thankful for the break.

**ONE!!**

Sabu's arm came down.

**TWO!!**

Sabu's arm came down again.

**THR-**

Fonzie jumped into the ring and broke up the count, giving Sabu another chance. Jono chose to get involved at that moment and speared the Hell outta Fonzie, rolling him out to the floor.

**JON-A-THAN!! JON-A-THAN!! JON-A-THAN!!**

"Nice, Jono," Xander muttered as he climbed back into the ring, and as Taz turned around, Xander nailed him with a bladed hand to the throat, sending him down to the mat.

"Oh, my God," Joey shouted, "That's the same move that put RVD away. With Sabu choked out, I think Xander might just win his first singles title, even if it is unofficial!!"

Xander dragged Taz closer to Sabu, then covered both of them.

**ONE…TWO…THREE!!**

ҖECWҖ

Angel nodded slightly as Sabu got his arm up, but Taz didn't.

"Wow," Cordelia said, smiling for her former boyfriend, "That was impressive!!"

"Ladies and Gentlemen," the announcer shouted, "Taz has been eliminated, and there will be a NEW FTW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION CROWNED HERE TONIGHT!!"

"Holy Crap," Joey said in disbelief, "Taz has been eliminated!! He's lost the FTW World Championship and…wait, what the Hell!!"

ҖECWҖ

Xander stared in disbelief as Taz casually got up, brushing himself off as he moved towards the ropes. Xander moved forward and grabbed his arm, stopping him from going on. Taz turned back to him.

"Good luck, kid," Taz said, "I got no need for that belt anymore. In two weeks, I'm getting the real thing! Oh, and you might wanna duck."

"What," Xander said, turning back to the audience, only to receive a chair to the face for his troubles!

"So, Taz let himself be pinned to lose the title," Joey said in disgust, "Damn it, not only will one of these men win the title unfairly, he's basically telling the world that it's worthless!! That miserable son of a bitch!!"

Sabu quickly locked in a camel clutch, causing Xander a lot of pain. He tried to reach for the ropes, but they were just too far. Xander continued to struggle with it for a moment before he managed to roll Sabu off of him. Xander quickly launched a kick at Sabu, which he dodged, and launched himself off the nearby ropes in a springboard clothesline, bringing Xander down to the ground. Fonzie quickly picked up a chair and tossed it to Sabu, even as Jonathan tried catch it. Sabu set it up and performed a perfect triple-jump moonsault, staying on Xander for the cover.

**ONE…TWO…THR-**

Xander managed to get his shoulder up. Jonathan speared Fonzie to the floor as he tried to make sure that he couldn't help his man out, but Sabu noticed and did a baseball slide kick to Jonathan, launching him into the audience. With Fonzie's help, Sabu set up a table and put Xander on it. Fonzie held his head there and Sabu ascended the top rope, chair in hand. He set the chair up behind his legs and then rolled off the top rope, launching himself chair-first into Xander, putting him through the table!!

"OH, MY GOD," Joey shouted.

**SA-FUCKIN'-BU!! SA-FUCKIN'-BU!! SA-FUCKIN'-BU!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

"Atomic Arabian Facebuster through the table," Joey said with a note of finality, "That's gotta be it for Xander."

Sabu climbed on top of him for the cover.

**ONE…TWO…THRE-**

"Holy crap," Joey shouted, "Xander got it up at two and seventeen-eighteenths!!"

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

"The fans, chanting out in respect to Xander, are on their feet for this match," Joey said, "If an Atomic Arabian Facebuster through a table can't put Xander away, I don't know what will!"

Fonzie and Sabu set up another table on the floor, and this time, Fonzie brought out liter fluid. Fonzie began to douse the table in it as Sabu set up another table, this time on top of the first one.

"Oh, no," Joey said as he saw what was coming.

With a few chair shots and a little maneuvering, Sabu and Fonzie set Xander up on the top of the second table. Sabu went back into the ring and set up another chair, then waited for Fonzie to light it. Before Fonzie could, however, he was smacked in the back of the head by a pool stick.

"It's Jono," Joey shouted, "Jono is here to protect his friend! Thank God!!"

**JON-A-THAN!! JON-A-THAN!! JON-A-THAN!!**

Sabu did his triple jump splash to the floor, sending Jonathan back down before he could pull Xander off. Sabu got up quickly, kicking Jonathan in the head as he did so, and took the matches from the winded Fonzie. He got back in the ring and lit a match, then tossed the match into the matchbox. He quickly tossed the matchbox back onto the table, and backed away as he waited for the explosion.

As the box burst out flame, Sabu ran from the ropes, jumped from the chair onto the top rope, then found his balance to wait. As the table really began to go up, he pointed to the heavens and completed the move, legdropping himself and Xander through the tables and flames!

"OH, MY FUCKING GOD!!" Joey shouted.

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Slowly, very slowly, Sabu and the now-aware Fonzie dragged Xander back into the ring, where Sabu covered him.

**ONE…TWO…THREE!!**

"Your winner," the announcer shouted out, "And the NEW FTW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…SABUUU!!

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

_Huka Blues_ came on as Fonzie brought the title to Sabu, who held it up high. RVD came out and lifted Sabu's hand, then went to check on Xander. Faith ran out quickly, with a team of paramedics right behind her.

"Dear God," Joey said, "That was the most dangerous thing I have ever seen in my life! Ladies and Gentlemen, Sabu is now the FTW Champion, meaning that RVD and Sabu hold the TV, Tag Team, and FTW championships!! All that's left is for one of them to get the ECW World Championship and they've got the complete set. I'm being told here now that Xander appears to be in good condition, just in a bit of shock. Can't blame the poor bastard."

ҖECWҖ

"…I'm going up there," Cordelia said as she came to her feet, "Don't tell Buffy!!"

Angel stared up at the TV in shock, completely ignoring Cordelia.


	21. Chapter 19

Going to Extremes

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

ҖECWҖ

Francine walked into the back quietly, her eyes alit with a sense of purpose, though nothing else. Stalking around the dressing room, she smiled when she came to RVD's locker. She pulled open his locker and was pleased to find that his Television Championship was inside, as RVD was busy in the showers.

She pulled out a bag from her jacket and made to open it, but a noise behind her gave her pause.

"Francine," Rob said with a grin as he walked up behind her, dressed only in a towel, "What the Fuck are you doing in here?"

"I'm," she struggled for a moment before her eyes became clear, "I'm looking for Shane's room."

"Well, this ain't it," Rob said with a grin, "Three doors down, sweetheart. And, hey, I know you got a little thing for Xander, but, just to let you know, he's got Faith…and there ain't nothing that can change that."

"…You don't sound too happy about that," Francine said with a intrigued look.

"Hey, Faith is hot, and yeah, if I coulda, I woulda, but she chose Xander," Rob said with a grin, "Her life, her choice."

"What if I told you that there was a way you could get her," Francine said with a grin.

"I'd say," Rob smiled at her, and she smiled back, "'Get the fuck out, bitch.'"

Francine frowned at him, then angrily stormed out of the room, with RVD watching her backside as she did so.

"Whew," Rob said as he opened up his locker and put the belt away, "Xand, you got a gift, man. That's two fucking hot women you got after you!"

ҖECWҖ

"Hey, Joey," Xander greeted the voice of ECW as he came into the room, "How'd it go last night?"

Paul had given Xander the night off after his match with Sabu, leaving Joey Styles alone to cover the DCW broadcast.

"That was one of the most horrific matches ever," Joey said, "Bam Bam damn near won, but Kang just ended up beating the shit outta him!"

"Well, too bad for Bam Bam," Xander said with a sigh, grasping his side.

"You ok, there, champ," Joey asked, a concerned look in his eyes.

"Oh, fine," Xander said, "Just nursing the burns on my side!"

"That was a damn stupid thing that happened," the two men looked over at Faith as she joined them, "It's a damn good thing that you aren't in a match tonight!"

"Amen to that," Xander agreed, "Who are you facing tonight, Faith?"

"Dunno," Faith said, "Paul said it would be a man, as the other women on the roster don't wanna face me…except Jazz, but she's in Japan right now."

"Hope it's no one I like," Faith finished with a grin.

ҖECWҖ

_You Shook Me All Night Long_ came on as Faith and Jono came out, with Faith dressed in leather pants and a ripped up _Rob Zombie_ shirt, with Jono dressed in jeans and a _Spider-man_ shirt.

"Don't worry, Faith," Jono said to her as they walked on, "You'll do fine."

"Of course I will," Faith said with a frown, "I just don't like being in a match unless I know who I'm facing."

Faith and Jonathan entered the ring, and Jonathan immediately got on top of the ropes, enjoying the crowd as they cheered for him. Faith, meanwhile, leaned back on the ropes, waiting for her music to die down.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduling for one fall," the referee shouted out, "Introducing first, from the streets of Boston, Massachusetts, she is the Dark Slayer, this is…FAITH!!"

**FAITH! FAITH! FAITH! GOTTA HAVE…FAITH!!**

"God, that's unoriginal," Faith said with a smile, "C'mon, get out here, I wanna know who I'm fighting!"

She strained her ears to listen as a song came on, then her smile turned into a frown when she realized who it was she was facing.

**SANDMAN!! SANDMAN!! SANDMAN!!**

"Well, this is quite interesting," Joey said as _Enter Sandman_ played out, "Sandman and Faith are going at it…this should be one Hell of a match."

Sandman stood on the bleachers, with the ravenous fans crowding around him, holding his cane and beer with a cigarette in his mouth. At the right point, Sandman popped his beer open, then took a big gulp from it, then shared the rest with a guy in the audience.

**SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN!**

**GRIPPING YOUR PILLOW TIGHT!!**

**EX-IT LIGHT!!**

**EN-TER NIGHT!!**

**TAKE MY HAND!!**

**WE'RE OFF TO NEVER-NEVER LAND!!**

Sandman continued to descend to the ring and, once he got inside, he pulled out two beers and offered both Faith and Jonathan one. The two accepted and Faith and Sandman got on the ropes, with Jonathan still in the ring.

**GRAY DESCEND!!**

**EX-IT LIGHT!!**

**EN-TER NIGHT!!**

**TAKE MY HAND!!**

Faith and Sandman took gigantic gulps from their beers, then began to bash their heads with the cans, spraying beer all over the place as they busted themselves open!

**WE'RE OFF TO NEVER-NEVER LAND!!**

ҖECWҖ

"Paul," Xander asked his boss as he came in, "Why did you put Sandman in a match against Faith?"

"You'll see, Xander," Paul said cryptically, "You'll see."

ҖECWҖ

"Introducing next, from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, weighing in tonight at two-hundred sixty pounds, he is the Hardcore Icon, this…is the SANDMAN!!"

Faith and Sandman shook hands as the match began, and Sandman put his cane aside. Slowly, the two circled up, and Faith got him in a headlock. Sandman managed to push her out of it, then cracked her in the mouth with a punch. Faith grabbed her jaw for a moment, then smiled, nodding at him. Sandman smiled and nodded back, then the two started to trade punches, till Faith finally landed a solid punch to Sandman's jaw, sending him down to the floor, staring up at her in shock.

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!**

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

"Faith, literally planting Sandman with that devastating punch," Joey said.

Sandman slowly got up and he and Faith came together, with Sandman catching her by surprise with a kick to the stomach. He caught her head and quickly brought it down in a DDT. Faith literally sprang up from the move, caught him up, and slammed him back down to the floor. Sandman got up as well, then clotheslined her to the ground. When she got up, however, Sandman cracked her across the head with his newly retrieved cane.

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Faith got up and returned the cane shot with a dropkick to the head, sending Sandman outside the ring. Faith swiftly came after him, leaping over the ropes and dropping into him as he came to his feet.

**FAITH!! FAITH!! FAITH!! GOTTA HAVE…FAITH!!**

Sandman returned her volley with another cane shot, then Irish whipped her into the guardrail. Sandman quickly got up on her and did his Heineken-rana, sending Faith headfirst onto the floor. Sandman followed it up by getting on the guardrail, again, and doing the Bitching Legdrop!

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Faith countered his next assault by wrapping her legs around his head, while still on the ground, and pulling him down to the ground. Faith flipped herself onto her feet, then jumped up onto the guardrail and jumped back off, twisting around in mid-air to land a legdrop on him. Faith stood up and reached into the crowd for a chair, which a fan willingly gave her, and went to bash Sandman's head in…

…when he caught her with a surprise cane shot to the stomach, then followed through with a powerbomb to the ground. He got up the chair and slammed it onto her, eliciting a selection of boos from the audience.

"The ECW fans didn't like that one," Joey commented, "Faith is so over here, it's unbelievable!"

Faith brought herself up and kicked the chair into Sandman's head, sending him into the guardrail. She quickly got up to her feet and landed a devastating punch, sending him over the guardrail and into the crowd. Faith raised her hands in the rock symbol, then ran into the ring and used the ropes to propel herself over the ropes, over the guardrail, and into the Sandman!!

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!**

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Sandman was the first one up and he climbed over the guardrail, and quickly got into the ring. He waited until Faith was up and over the guardrail, then sprinted to the ropes and jumped clean over them, smacking her with the cane as he came down.

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Sandman lifted her up again, then tossed her in the ring, where he covered her.

ONE…

Faith got her shoulder up, then used her other hand to grab Sandman's throat. In a tremendous show of strength, she lifted Sandman up over her head and, while he was still dazed, threw him back down to the mat in a horrendous choke-slam! She covered him.

ONE…TWO…

Sandman got his shoulder up, and smacked her in the back with the cane. Faith backed away from him and went to spear him, but Sandman dodged her and caught her in a hold with his cane, then did his White Russian Legsweep!

Before he could even go for a cover, though, Faith was on her feet and she ran at the ropes, jumped off the second rope, and kicked him in the chest, sending him down to the mat. She covered him.

ONE…TWO…THREE!!

Faith got up off him as the ref declared her the winner. Slowly, Sandman got back to his feet, and he smiled at her.

"Good going, kid," Sandman said.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," the announcer said, "Your winner, the Dark Slayer, FAITH!!"

Sandman and Jono raised her hands up, celebrating her victory. Before anything else could happen, though, Paul E came into the ring, mic in hand.

"Congratulations, Faith," Paul said with a grin, "I knew you'd beat him…and I think it's fitting that WCW's latest requisition loses to ECW's newest wrestler."

Faith and Jono shared a curious look, while Sandman just looked pissed off.

"E," Faith said, "What the Hell are you talking about?!"

"Oh, ain't it obvious," Paul said, "Sandman here is now employed by World Championship Wrestling!!"

A collective pause echoed out as the fans and the wrestlers took a moment to absorb that.

"I want you to understand this, Sandman," Paul said, "You going to WCW is a devastating blow to ECW, but I know you didn't do it lightly or out of spite. So, I wish you the best of luck in WCW."

With that, Paul E turned around and left the ring.

"Faith," Sandman started, turning to her.

"Don't," Faith said, a lost look in her eyes, "Just…just don't."

With that, Faith left the ring, with Jono left behind in confusion, though he did follow her. Sandman stared after her, a sad look on his face.


	22. Chapter 20

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

ҖECWҖ

"You ok," Xander asked Faith later on.

"…He's leaving," Faith said, leaning into her boyfriend, "Everyone in my life leaves."

"He's not leaving you, just ECW," Xander said, "You can still call him up, talk to him."

"No, he'll be working practically every night," Faith said, "He's been that other ear to talk to, you know? And, I never had a dad, not really…Hell, he treated me differently."

"He was like a father to you," Xander said, nodding knowingly, "Go to him, Faith…talk to him."

"…Thanks, Xan," Faith said, kissing him on the cheek before getting up and heading out.

"…No problem," Xander said, smiling after her as he took a drink.

"Oh, there is a problem, Alexander Lavelle Harris!!"

"…oh, shit," he said as he saw an old friend walk up.

ҖECWҖ

Sandman packed up the last of his stuff in his vehicle, sighing as he did so.

"So long, ECW," he said, leaning back on his hood, "So long, Sandman…Hello, WCW."

"I still can't believe it, Jim," Sandman turned to his left as he heard Tommy come up to him, a sad smile on his face, "WCW, man. You gotta beat the crap outta Raven for me."

"Will do, brother," Sandman said, embracing Tommy in a show of support, "I'll make him bleed for ya."

"…Damn, it sucks to see you go," Tommy said, leaning on Sandman's van as they shared a beer, "Still, you'll be getting better money."

"True," Sandman said with a laugh, "Still…lot of memories I'm leaving behind here. Remember the time I gave you thirteen lashes with my cane?"

Tommy chuckled at that.

"And the time you tricked me into thinking you were blind," Tommy asked.

"Yeah," Sandman said with a laugh, "God, I got you good that time!"

"Yes, you did," Tommy said, "Well, look at the bright side, you and Nancy'll be seeing a lot of each other."

"Point," Sandman said.

Tommy looked behind him, then turned back to Sandman.

"I think I'm gonna get outta here for the moment," Tommy said, "Call me when you get home, we'll have a night out before you drive to Atlanta."

Sandman stared after him, then fell down to the ground as he was tackled from behind. Braced for an attack, Sandman tried to throw a punch, when his mind told him that whatever had tackled him wasn't attacking him…they were hugging him.

"Huh," he said, looking down, "…Faith?"

"I'm sorry," she was saying, "Don't go!"

"Faith," Sandman tried to consol her as he lifted her up and got to his feet, "I gotta go, honey. I made a deal."

"…I know," she said, sobbing into him, "Write me?"

"Sure thing, kiddo," Sandman said, smiling down at her, "Sure thing."

ҖECWҖ

"STOP TOUCHING ME!!"

Cordelia backed off as Xander screamed out. She had, after slapping him, hugged him and he had reacted quite vocally.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she began apologizing…that is, until she noticed his smile, 'I wasn't hurting you at all, was I?"

"No," he smirked, earning himself another slap upside the head, "So, what're you doing in this bingo hall?"

"Bingo hall," Cordelia wondered, looking around it, "This is a bingo hall? It looks like a sweat shop!"

"Well, that it is," Xander chuckled, rising to his feet, "It's good to see you, Cordy."

"Same, here, dumbass," Cordelia said, and the two embraced for real.

"So, what're you doing here," he asked.

"I saw your match against Sabu," she scowled at him, "What the Hell were you thinking?! You could have died!!"

"Hey, it was a match, anything can happen," he defended himself.

"It's WRESTLING," she screamed, "You're not supposed to put people THROUGH FLAMING TABLES!!"

"Well, there is a reason why it's called 'Extreme Championship Wrestling,'" Xander said with a laugh.

"How can you laugh about this," Cordelia wondered, "There's nothing funny about this! You could have died!"

"But, I didn't," he said, "Sabu did what he had to do to put me down."

"…You really aren't that concerned about it," she asked, "But, you could've-"

"But, I didn't," he said calmly, "This is what we do."

"…So, who was that," Cordelia asked, switching subjects.

"Faith," he said nervously, "She's my…girlfriend."

"…Oh," Cordelia said after a moment, "She's a wrestler?"

"Yeah," Xander said, choosing to leave out her Slayer status.

"…That's good," Cordelia said after a moment, "You could use someone in your life."

"How're they," Xander asked.

"Buffy and Willow," Cordelia asked, "They're burying their heads in the sand. Buffy still hates you, but Willow's just depressed. I think she knows what she did was wrong, but she doesn't have the will to do anything about it."

"Yeah, that's pretty much how Jonathan described them," Xander said.

"I still can't believe he's here," Cordelia said with a small smile, "He's really grown a backbone since the last time I saw him."

"No doubt," Xander said with a proud smile, "He's come a long way."

An awkward silence fell upon the two as both searched for something to say.

"So…when's your next match," Cordy asked.

"Next one's this Sunday," Xander said, a small smile coming to his face, "Me and Rob are going at it for the ECW TV Title."

"Rob, as in Rob Van Dam," Cordy asked, "Xander, how did you ever get to face him in the first place? That guy can do leg splits and…all sorts of other things."

"Me and him have gone at it twice now," Xander said, "I've beaten him twice. Last time's Sunday, unless I win, then there'll most likely be a rematch."

"Wow," Cordy said, "I'll try and get the pay-per-view, that way I can see you win."

"Thanks, Cordy," Xander said with a grin.

"Ahem," a voice called out behind them, "And you are?"

Xander and Cordelia turned around just in time to see Faith walk up, her arms folded in a pensive look.

"Faith," Xander said, moving towards his girlfriend and hugging her, kissing her cheek as he did so, "Allow me to introduce you to Cordelia Chase. Cordy, this is Faith."

"The Vampire Slayer," Faith supplied, "Cordelia…as in, your 'ex-girlfriend,' Cordelia?"

"That's right," Cordelia said, a hint of sadness in her voice, "Me and him dated…before the bitch made him leave."

"You mean Buffy, right," Cordy nodded, "God, that little necrophiliatic slut!"

"You've…told her a lot about that, haven't you," Cordy said with a grin, her opinion about Faith growing by the minute.

"Well, I have a lot of anger," Xander said with a grin.

"…I'm happy for you, Xander," Cordelia said, stopping that awkward silence in its tracks, "Well, um, I…I think I'll head off now. I gotta find a place to sleep for tonight, my flight leaves Monday."

"Wait, Monday," Xander asked, "Well, I have an idea. Why don't you get your flight changed to the airport out at Orlando. November to Remember is taking place there, and we're all leaving in the morning for it. I can talk Tommy or Rob into driving you down."

"…Are you sure," Faith asked, "It's also a DCW event."

"The contract should keep her safe," Xander argued, "Besides, I think she'd enjoy it."

"I dunno, Xander," Cordelia objected, "The thought of you getting hurt…not one I like."

"Oh, c'mon, Cordy, please," Xander begged, "Don't make me do it!"

"Do what," both Faith and Cordelia asked.

"You know," Xander said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Alexander Harris, you had better not be planning what I think you are," Cordelia raged, making it clear that there were dire consequences if he did so.

"Boytoy," Faith interjected, "What're you gonna do?"

"Just…watch!"

Before Cordy could move, Xander snuck up on her and lifted her shirt, exposing her belly, and proceeded to tickle her.

"OH, GOD, XANDER!," Cordelia shouted, "XANDER, YOU STOP RIGHT NOW!"

"Not till you give," Xander laughed as he chased after her.

Faith stared at them in disbelief for a moment, before giving in and cackling at the two as Xander chased her down, repeatedly tickling her stomach.

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, I GIVE, I'LL STAY," Cordelia shouted as she finally tired out.

"AH-HA," Xander said with a grin, "The Tickle Monster triumphs!"

"Not unlike the black knight," Faith said, bringing her laughter down a peg.

"C'mon, Queen C," Xander said, taking both Cordy and Faith by the shoulder and leading them towards the arena, "Let's get you set up."

As they walked further into the arena, they passed an exhausted New Jack as he came out of the showers. He stopped dead in his tracks as he saw Xander walk up with two drop-dead-gorgeous looking women.

"White boy's got game," New Jack said with the shake of his head, "Maybe Michael Jackson was onto something."

Even as he said it, he could feel every molecule of his body shiver in revulsion. He shook himself to get rid of it.

"Not worth all the booty in the world," New Jack muttered, walking off to his car.


	23. November to Remember

Going to Extremes

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

ҖECWҖ

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we are live tonight, in Orlando, Florida for ECW November To Remember!! I am your host, Joey Styles," Joey shouted into the microphone.

**JO-EY!! JO-EY!! JO-EY!! JO-EY!! JO-EY!! JO-EY!!**

"Thank you, I love you guys, too," Joey said with a grin, "Tonight, for your viewing pleasure, ECW proudly presents the title match that we've all been waiting for! Tonight, ECW World Heavyweight Champion The Franchise, Shane Douglas, will defend his title against the Path of Rage, the Human Suplex Machine, TAZ!!"

**TAZ!! TAZ!! TAZ!! TAZ!!**

"And, in what could possibly steal the show tonight, the long-awaited match-up for the gold!! Tonight, the Whole Fuckin' Show, Rob Van Dam," he had to pause as the chants began to grow.

**WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW!! WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW!! WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW!!**

"-takes on his rival, Xander Harris, for the ECW World Television Championship!!"

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

**WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW!! WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW!!**

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

ҖECWҖ

"You ready for this, X," Faith asked.

Xander was currently getting the royal treatment. He was soaking his feet in a foot-massager filled with warm water, and both Faith and Cordelia were rubbing his shoulders, chest, back, and front in preparation for this horrendous match that was coming up. The best part…he could feel their nipples!

"X," Faith shouted.

"Huh," Xander said, coming out of his daze, "What?"

"I asked if you were ready for this match," Faith said, "Obviously, you aren't!"

"Oh, Faith, I don't care," Xander said, "It's not like this title means anything to me. It's just a match to make the fans happy and to make me more money. Besides, ECW's getting picked up by a cable company called 'TNN' in the next few months, courtesy of Wolfram and Hart. I don't wanna be on national television."

"I understand that, Xander, but Rob's not playing around this time," Faith said, "His TV Title's on the line, and he's gonna be upping his game more than ever. You could seriously get hurt this time."

"She's right, Xander," Cordy said, "You need to focus, or else you could die!"

"Rob doesn't take anything serious," Xander argued, "Besides, he knows that I don't really care. He won't go too far to keep the title."

Faith and Cordy shared a look and rolled their eyes. Sighing, the two moved in front of him and squatted down till they were both eye-level with him. Of course, Xander's eyes were directed to their cleavage, which was what they wanted.

"Xander," Faith said, "Either you take this match seriously, or you'll never see these," she cupped her boobs, "Again."

"And, you'll never have another chance to see these," Cordy cupped her own boobs, "Again."

A pained and wanting look came over his face. Sighing, he nodded, giving in.

"You two fight dirty," Xander said, "Cordy, you've been spending too much time around Faith."

"Well, she's like a sister to me," Cordy said, wrapping an arm around Faith, "Even though she could dress better."

"Slut," Faith said good-naturedly.

"Tramp."

"Shut up," Xander muttered, grabbing his boots as he did so, "I can never tell if you guys are serious or are just shitting each other."

"Xander," all three turned their attention to Jonathan as he came up, "You're up next."

"…Alright," Xander said, taking on a serious attitude as he prepared for the match, "Cordy, will you go out with Jonathan?"

"Sure," Cordelia said, somewhat hurt but, understanding that he wanted to be with Faith, "Come on, Jono."

"Yes, Ma'am," Jonathan said with a grin as he led her out towards the curtain.

"My little boy's growing up," Xander said, wiping a fake tear from his eye as he extended his arm to Faith, "Shall we?"

"Let's," Faith said, taking his arm, "And remember," she squeezed his arm with her Slayer grip, "Serious."

"Alright, alright," Xander said as she loosened up, "I promise to be professional."

"Good boytoy," Faith said as they headed for the curtain.

ҖECWҖ

_Aerosmith's Walk This Way_ came on as Jonathan and Cordelia came through the curtain.

"Whoa," Joey said into his mic, "Whoever the Hell that girl is, she is a fucking bombshell!! WOO!"

**JON-A-THAN!! JON-A-THAN!! JON-A-THAN!!**

"Holy crap, they like you," Cordelia said as Jonathan lowered the rope for her to step through.

"Ah, they just don't know your name," he said with a grin as he entered the ring after her.

Cordelia and Jonathan were both dressed alike, in black t-shirts with Ash from _Army of Darkness_ on, holding up his shotgun and chainsaw going 'This is my Boomstick!'

_Judgment Day_ came on, and the fans went nuts as they waited for Xander to come out.

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

Finally, Xander and Faith walked out, arm-in-arm, both dressed in the same shirts as the others, but theirs were ripped, exposing Xander's hard body and a decent amount of Faith's voluptuous one, including her lacy black bra which, when combined with her leather pants, made for a sinful pair.

"I think the fans are behind you," Cordelia said as they came into the ring.

**X-F-J!! X-F-J!! X-F-J!!**

"Just wait," Xander muttered.

_Walk_ came on, and the fans went equally nuts as Rob Van Dam came out, his TV and Tag Team Championship belts on hand with Fonzie carrying Sabu's Tag Team belt.

**RE…SPECT!! WALK!!**

**WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW!! WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW!!**

Rob Van Dam got in the ring and went around in a circle for a moment, stopping to face Xander and point at him with a smile, which Xander returned full-heartedly.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," the announcer called out, "The following contest is scheduled for one-fall, and it is for the ECW World Television Championship!

"In the corner to my right, the challenger! He weighs in tonight at two hundred thirty-eight pounds!! He is the Hardcore King of Extreme, the X-Man…ladies and gentlemen, I give to you…XANDER HARRIS!!"

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

"And, in the corner to my left, he is the current ECW World Television Champion! He weighs in tonight at two hundred thirty-five pounds!! He is Mr. Pay-Per-View," Fonzie took off Rob's belts, blowing his damned whistle as he did so, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I give to you…"

"**ROB…VAN…DAM!!"**

Rob completed his spinkick and landed gently, then turned around and extended his hand to Xander, which he shook with a smile.

"Just remember something, X-Man," Rob said, loud enough for the audience to hear, "Tonight, you aren't just facing Mr. Pay-Per-View…tonight, you're facing the…"

"**WHOLE…FUCKIN'…SHOW!!"**

"Good thing, too, Rob," Xander said with a smile, "Cause, tonight, you are gonna…"

"**HAIL TO THE KING!!"**

"Oh, and Rob," Xander took him by the shoulder, "Remember…SHOP SMART!!"

**SHOP S-MART!!**

The two shook hands again and backed away as Fonzie and the rest got out of the ring. The bell rang, and Xander and Rob began to circle up, each feeling each other out as they waited for the right time to move. They each extended their hands and grasped the other's hands as their fingers intertwined, each vying for victory in the small test of strength. Before long, Rob went for a kick, but Xander backed away, causing Rob to land on the floor. Xander went for a dropkick, still holding Rob's hands, but Rob ducked down. As Xander landed, he flipped onto his back, allowing Rob to do a moonsault, still holding onto Xander's hands.

Xander, however, put up his knees, intending to block him. Rob, however, saw it coming and redirected his turn, causing him to land on his feet beside Xander. Before Rob could move, however, Xander pulled him and brought him down to the floor. Xander pulled Rob's arms out and applied a triangle choke on him, but Rob quickly got out of it and pulled Xander, and himself, to his feet. Once there, Rob went for a monkey flip, but Xander landed on his feet and pushed all of his bodyweight onto Rob, trying to pin him in a bridge.

Rob, however, saw this coming and forced his back up, using Xander's own force to keep himself balanced. The crowd applauded at the amazing show of athleticism as Xander and Rob struggled to remain balanced, still holding each other's hands. As the two pressed on each other, barely keeping themselves from hitting the ground, both Xander and Rob tried to figure out a way out of it. Rob saw that he was close to the ropes and put both his feet up on them, causing Xander to fall to the ground with Rob's head on top of him. Rob pushed off the ropes and rolled on top of Xander, pushing his arms down in a cover.

**ONE…**

Xander pulled Rob's arms down and headbutted him, causing Rob to back up and finally let go. Xander rolled back to his feet and stretched out, shaking his hands loose as Rob did the same for his hands and head. The two shared a grin and a simple nod, eliciting a positive response from the crowd.

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

"I dare anyone to let two athletes of that caliber go out there and do what they do," Joey said, "You just won't find it anywhere."

ҖECWҖ

Francine walked through the arena in a daze, her mind telling her that she needed to find something. She couldn't be sure of what, though. Everything was in a fog to her. She climbed the stairs that led to the service exit, barely keeping her balance as she used both hands to keep her steady on the railing. Finally, she reached the top and pushed open the door. She stumbled outside into the night and fell to the ground, exhausted and dizzy.

"Oh, poor cheerleader," suddenly, the fog cleared up as she heard the voice, "Did you get lost on your way to the pantry?"

Francine looked up with a smile and whispered, "Mistress."

ҖECWҖ

Rob kicked out of Xander's pin attempt and quickly got to his feet, launching out a kick at Xander's face. Xander caught it and quickly reversed it, stepping over his leg and putting it in between his own, then headbutting Rob with the back of his own head, sending them both down to the ground. Once there, Xander flipped Rob over and pulled back on his leg, causing Rob to reach out in pain.

"Single-leg Californian crab by Xander," Joey said, "This match has proven to be everything that we thought of it, and more, and only five minutes have passed by!"

Rob managed to kick out of it, forcing Xander away from him. Xander used that to his advantage and attempted a springboard dropkick on him, but Rob ducked it, causing Xander to land on his stomach. Rob followed up with a corkscrew legdrop onto Xander's back, then put him into a camel clutch.

Xander struggled with it, but slowly managed to reach the ropes, causing Rob to break out of it. Rob backed away and Xander quickly got back to his feet, just in time to duck a flying clothesline, causing Rob to hit the ropes with his throat! Xander followed through with a bladed chop to Rob's chest, decking him!

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Xander quickly motioned for a chair, which Jonathan faithfully gave him. Xander turned around and slammed it into Rob's face, then left it there. He used the ropes and did a springboard legdrop onto the chair, sending it into Rob's face! Xander then quickly got on the top rope and went for an elbow drop…

Rob, however, flipped himself onto his feet, still holding the chair, and popped Xander in the face with it as he was coming down!!

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW!! WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW!!**

Xander got himself somehow tangled up in the ropes, with one of his dangling on the top rope and the other tied up by the second and bottom rope. He hung onto the top rope with his arms, barely keeping himself in the ring. Rob tossed the chair to Fonzie, who held it in front of Xander's face.

"We gotta do something," Cordy said, moving to help, only to be stopped by Faith.

"This is the fairness bit of it," Faith explained as Jonathan went forward, armed with a pool stick, "Rob gets to use Fonzie, X gets Jono!"

"How is that fair?!"

"One person extra," Faith explained, "Now, shut up and watch!"

Jonathan smashed the pool stick into Fonzie's backside, causing him to fall onto the chair. Rob, however, was still doing the kick and missed Xander's head completely, getting himself caught painfully on the top rope. Xander stared at him for a second, then simply punched him with a mean right, sending Rob rolling to the other side of the ring!

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

Xander worked quickly and got himself untangled, entering the ring as Rob was getting his bearings back. Xander picked up the chair then waited. The second Rob got to his feet and turned to him, Xander launched it into his face, sending Rob reeling into the ropes. Rob, however, bounced back on the ropes floored Xander with a mean clothesline!

Rob followed up with a corkscrew legdrop, then moved quickly and grabbed the chair himself. He slammed it into Xander's head, then quickly got up on the top rope.

"Is Van Dam feeling froggy," Joey wondered as the crowd stood up.

Rob jumped off the ropes in his Five-Star Frog Splash, but just as he was about to land, Xander rolled away, keeping the chair elevated with his arms, causing Rob to fall face-first into it.

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!**

Xander set the chair up and, as soon as Rob was up, caught him up and did a German Suplex, forcing Rob's neck and shoulders into the chair. Xander quickly let go and ran for the ropes, jumping onto the top one and doing a corkscrew moonsault onto Rob!!

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

ҖECWҖ

"Why is the pretty kitty not yours yet, dear cheerleader," Drusilla asked, swaying to and fro in the wind.

"Mistress, I could not get to the belt," the hypnotized Francine explained, her voice monotonous in pitch, "I could not curse the belt before the match. Now, Xander shall never be mine!"

"Hush, little dove," Drusilla muttered, biting her finger and extending the bleeding appendage to her, which she happily took and suckled from, "Now, mummy has a plan. First, we need the mean scarred Arab man and his bit of silver. Then, kitten shall be yours."

"Oh, thank you, Mistress," Francine whimpered as she continued to drink.

"Hush, now," Drusilla ordered, "Enjoy your meal."

ҖECWҖ

**ONE…TWO…THRE-**

Rob got his foot on the bottom rope at the last second. Xander backed away, allowing Rob the opportunity to breathe as he went down beneath the ring. Fonzie began to blow his whistle feverishly, trying to wake his man up. Giving up, Fonzie got down and pulled out a table himself and pushed it into the ring for Rob to use.

"Why didn't you stop him," Cordelia asked.

"Fonzie can do that," Jono explained, "The agreement is equal footing, and, till Rob gets back up, Fonzie's the man in charge. Course, that don't mean he has to play fair, either."

"Then why are you playing fair," Cordelia demanded.

"Who says I am," Jono asked with a devious smile.

Xander finished setting up his table, suspending it with the ring and the guardrail. He quickly got back in the ring and made for the chair, but Rob managed to push himself out and kick Xander in the chest, sending him to his back and into the corner. Rob then flipped himself up and grabbed the chair, running once around the ring with it as he did.

**TER-MIN-AT-OR!! TER-MIN-AT-OR!!**

Rob ran straight at Xander and skateboarded the chair right into his face with his Van-Terminator! Rob then rolled back to his feet and did a spin kick for the crowd. He pointed his thumbs at himself.

**"ROB…VAN…DAM!!"**

_Trust Rob to pander_, Xander thought through the fog, slowly coming to his feet.

Rob turned around and kicked him in the stomach, then lifted him up in an attempt to do his brainbuster maneuver. Xander, however, rotated forward and dragged Rob's head down to the mat in a DDT. Xander then got up and ran for the ropes, doing a springboard moonsault onto Rob's stomach. He stayed on top of him.

**ONE…TWO…**

Rob kicked out of it. Xander got to his feet and tried to pull him up, but Rob punched him in the stomach then Irish whipped him into the corner. He charged into him and rammed him twice before coming out and doing a flip, using his hands on the mat to bring himself upright, then followed through with a mean kick to Xander's head!

**RVD!! RVD!! RVD!!**

Rob then went for the table. As he set it up, he didn't notice that the table had wheels, along with a box underneath it with a number on it. Jono, however, noticed all these things and pulled out a formerly concealed remote control.

"Jonathan," Faith asked, "What're you doing?"

"Leveling the playing field," Jonathan said with a grin.

Rob finished setting up the table, and pulled Xander up and laid him down on it. As Rob climbed onto the top rope, Jono turned the controller on and waited.

"This could be it," Joey said, "If it is, well, we all know that Xander fought hard, no one can even consider questioning that."

Just as Rob jumped out to do his Five-Star Frog Splash, Jono used his remote control to move the table out of the way, causing Rob to land painfully on his stomach.

"WHAT THE HELL," Joey shouted.

**WHAT THE FUCK!! WHAT THE FUCK!! WHAT THE FUCK!!**

Jonathan smiled and pulled out a chair, lifting his arms up and showing the world the remote.

"That little," Joey wasn't sure whether he wanted to laugh or curse, "The son of a bitch turned the tables into remote control cars!"

The fans were dumbfounded for a moment before cheering out.

**JON-A-THAN!! JON-A-THAN!! JON-A-THAN!!**

Fonzie chose that moment to attack him, causing Jonathan to fall out of the chair and onto the floor. The remote, however, went flying into the crowd. Fonzie jumped the guardrail and tried to get at it, but the fan who'd caught it tossed it to another group of fans. Jonathan got up and headed for them, but they threw it away as soon as he got nearby. Eventually, it became a game of keep-away between Fonzie, Jono, and the fans!

"…Only in ECW," Faith laughed.

"The Hell," Joey said as he watched Fonzie lunge for the remote, "Well, I guess the two managers won't be aiding their boys for a little bit. Only in ECW, and with ECW fans, will you find this kind of action, folks!"

Xander, meanwhile, got himself off the table and broke it down. He honestly had no idea what had just happened, but it didn't matter to him. He quickly maneuvered the table onto the top rope, balancing it in the corner. He grabbed the chair and ducked Rob's spinkick, then bashed his brains out with a brutal chair shot!

Xander grabbed Rob's limp arm and dragged him over to the table. He set the chair up, then pulled Rob into a fireman's carry, setting him gently upon the table. His mind raced as he came up with an idea of what he wanted to do, and he climbed the chair onto the table, balancing himself as he did so.

"The Hell is he doing," Joey wondered.

Xander careened for a moment, damn near sliding the table off, with himself and Rob on it. He managed to catch his balance, however, and flashed the 'X' symbol.

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

He slowly lifted Rob to his feet, then paused, making sure the table was steady. Once he was sure, he took another moment to look at Rob. He was there, but not totally there, and really had no idea of what was gonna happen next. That was a good thing.

Xander jumped up as hard as he could and wrapped his legs around Rob's neck. The motion causing the table to tip, forcing it over towards the concrete floor. Xander completed the maneuver, bringing Rob's head down with his legs. Xander made sure to grab onto the top rope, even as he let go of Rob, causing him to land painfully through the table he had set up earlier and onto the ground below.

"OH, MY FUCKING GOD!!" Joey shouted at the top of his lungs.

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!**

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Xander hung onto the rope tightly, calming himself down. He honestly hoped that he hadn't killed Rob with that move, but, it was the only thing he could think of that'd end the match. Sighing, he turned around to watch as Fonzie tried to wake him up. Rob had landed either on his shoulder or…on his neck.

The arena had gone painfully silent as the fans and wrestlers waited for Fonzie to see if Rob was still alive.

"I got him," Fonzie shouted, "He's alive!"

Xander sighed, thanking God above as the fans cheered out for him. He motioned for the ref to follow him and quickly climbed down and covered Rob, thankful that he had rolled onto his back.

**ONE…TWO…THREE!**

The fans cheered, not quite as loudly as they ordinarily would have. That changed, however, when Rob moaned and began to lift himself up. The fans exploded.

**WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW!! WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW!! WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW!!**

Rob grasped his shoulder as the paramedics came in, quickly examining him. Rob pushed them away from him and moved to Xander.

"…Did you pin me," Rob asked.

"Yeah," Xander said, "Not in the ring, though. I didn't wanna risk causing you more injury."

"…Thanks, man," Rob said, letting go of his shoulder to extend his hand, "For pinning me to end this the right way, and for not wanting me to get hurt anymore than I already am."

"Well, what're friends for, Rob," Xander said with a smile as he took his hand.

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

"A hurricanranna from a table on the top rope, into another table," Rob surmised, "That was nothing short…of extreme!"

"Well, what can I say," Xander said, "This is E-C-Fuckin'-W!"

"…Yeah," Rob said as the ref came up with the TV Title, "Hey…lemme do it."

The ref looked at him for a second before handing off the title to him. Rob held it to his chest for a moment before sighing and looking at Xander.

"Mic," Rob said, and the ref placed the mic to his face, "Ladies and gentlemen…the winner, and NEW ECW WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPION…THE X-MAN, XANDER HARRIS!!"

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

"…Thank you, Rob," Xander said, putting aside his feelings over the win as he took the belt, staring at it.

"Don't thank me," Rob said, "You earned it. Enjoy it, Xander."

The paramedics came up behind him with a stretcher. Sighing, Rob sat down on it.

"You hold onto it, now," Rob said with a smile as they began to strap him in, "I want my rematch!"

"You got it, Rob," Xander said, coming up to his head, "Hey, wait just a moment, guys."

"This man is in shock, Sir," one paramedic said, "He needs to be-"

"Shut up," Rob said, knowing what Xander was about to do, "Go ahead, man. I appreciate it."

Xander nodded and put the belt around his waist, then raised his hands and pointed his thumbs down at Rob. Faith, Jonathan, Cordy, and Fonzie did the same, as did all the people in the arena.

"THE WHOLE FUCKING SHOW," Xander shouted at the top of his lungs, "…

**"ROB…VAN…DAM!!"**

Xander smiled and nodded for the paramedics to go ahead. They led him up the ramp and towards the back, where almost every member of the ECW roster, including Shane Douglas and his Triple Threat, Taz, the Dudleys, Spike Dudley, Tommy Dreamer, Mikey Whipwreck, and Sabu stood, all lined up on either side of the ramp. The atmosphere ran a shiver up everyone's spine as the wrestlers of ECW acted as an honor guard for their fallen comrade as he was wheeled out. Suddenly, everyone began to clap as Rob went through them all.

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**


	24. Chapter 21

Going to Extremes

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

ҖECWҖ

"Have a safe flight, Cordy," Xander said, wrapping his arms around her.

"Call me the minute you get back to Philly," Cordelia said, hugging him for all she was worth, "Oh, hold on."

She quickly set down her stuff and pulled out a digital camera. She grabbed some random person and asked him to take a picture of them.

"Come on, C," Faith said, "You're flight's getting ready to leave!"

"Hang on, F," Cordelia said mockingly, "I want pictures with my friends."

The man took a few pictures, two with Cordelia and Xander, one with Cordy and Faith, and another with Cordy and Jonathan. The last picture was of Jonathan, Cordelia, Xander, and Faith.

"OOH," Cordy said, "Lemme get one of you with the belt!"

"…Alright," Xander agreed, pulling out his TV Title from his bag as he did so.

"Holy cow," the dude holding the camera said, "That's the ECW World TV Title! Is that the real one or a replica?"

"The real deal," Xander said as he buckled the belt around his waist.

"Oh, man," the guy said, "Hey, would you mind letting me interviewing you?"

"Who are you," Faith asked.

"My name's Matt Brock," he introduced himself, "I'm a columnist for _Pro Wrestling Illustrated_."

"Ugh, sure, why not," Xander said, "What time's your flight leaving?"

"Not for another half hour," Matt said, "I can hang around."

"Cool," Cordelia said, "Now, picture!"

"Yes, Ma'am," Matt said, taken aback by her attitude.

"Sorry," Xander said as he took the picture.

ҖECWҖ

"Matt Brock reporting, sitting here in an airport terminal in Orlando, Florida," Matt said into his recorder, "With me is the new ECW World Television Champion, Xander 'X-Man' Harris, his girlfriend, Faith, and their manager, Jonathan 'Jono' Levinson. Thank you so much for joining me, Xander."

"My pleasure," Xander said as he held his belt across his shoulder.

"First question, how do you feel now that you've won the Television Title?"

"A mixture of emotions," Xander admitted, "I mean, I planned on leaving ECW in a few months, and, now I win this championship, meaning that I'd have to stay till I lose it or vacate it."

"You mean to leave ECW," Matt asked, "Why?"

"To pursue other careers," Xander said.

"With WWF or WCW," Matt surmised.

"No, just other careers," Xander said, "I've received offers from WCW, but I won't take any. If I were to remain in wrestling, I'd stay with ECW."

"Do you plan on leaving anytime soon," Matt asked.

"I plan on staying at least till after Rob gets out of the hospital and back in the ring," Xander said, "I promised Rob a rematch."

"You and Rob Van Dam seem to be pretty good friends," Matt said, "Why do you continue to face each other at pay-per-views, but on ECW, you and he frequently team up?" 

"Our rivalry isn't based on ill-will or anger, it's just competitiveness for us," Xander said, "The first time we met, I thought he was being disrespectful, so I knocked him out to teach him a lesson. That same night, him and me met in the ring and put on a hell of a match. At Heatwave, we did the same thing. We just enjoy putting on a show for the crowd."

"Now that you've won the ECW World Television Title, are there any plans for you to win the ECW World Heavyweight Championship," Matt asked.

"At the moment, it's a 'we'll see what happens' deal," Xander said, "If Taz, congrats to him for beating Shane Douglas last night, challenges me, then I'll do what I do best."

"But, you won't be actively pursuing the title?"

Xander shook his head.

"How do you feel about last night's match being nominated as a potential PWI Match of the Year," Matt asked.

"I…didn't even know it was," Xander admitted, "If it wins, well, that's a testament to the amount of in-ring skill that Rob and I both have."

"Well, your feud with Rob Van Dam has also been nominated for the PWI Feud of the Year award," Matt said, "Care to comment on that?"

"Pretty much, same as before," Xander said, "We're both very competitive, and we like to win."

"You've also been nominated for the Rookie of the Year award," Matt said. 

"Really," Xander said, surprised at that, "Who're the other nominees?"

"I can't say for sure, but I do know that Bill Goldberg is another nominee," Matt said, "Most people are trying to decide between you and Goldberg."

"I dunno who Goldberg is," Xander said, "But, if he wins, hey," he raised his thumb up, "More power to ya, Mister Fancy-Pants!"

"That's another thing that many fans are curious about," Matt said, "Why do you act so much like Ash from _Army of Darkness_?"

"Mostly because I naturally act like a goofball," Xander said with a grin, "Ash is the macho-man of horror films, the man period, and he kicks ass with a smile. That's what I do."

"It might surprise you to know that the actor, Bruce Campbell, is aware of you," Matt said, "He called _PWI_ headquarters and asked to get more information on both you and ECW. One of our reporters asked him if he had any intentions to sue you."

"Lord, I hope not," Xander muttered.

"Mr. Campbell actually said that he found you to be quite flattering to the character," Matt said, "He mentioned that he might decide to visit ECW one day."

Xander tried visibly to contain his inner geek at that, but managed to say, "If Mr. Bruce Campbell were to ever visit ECW, he'd be most welcome."

"Alright, if you don't mind, I'd like to ask you some questions, Ms. Faith," Matt said.

"Oh, just call me Faith," Faith said with a smile.

"According to the ECW website-" Matt started.

"We have a website," Jonathan asked.

"…Yeah," Matt said, confused, "You didn't know that?"

"First I've heard of it," Xander said, turning to Jonathan, "Jono, you'd be a great webmaster. You should talk to Paul E about that."

"I think I will," Jono said with a small smile.

"…As I was saying," Matt said, "Faith, according to the website, you were born in Boston and were subsequently brought up in a troubled family. Could you describe that for us?"

"…I'm sorry, but I'm just not willing to discuss that," Faith said.

"Of course," Matt said, "I apologize for overstepping my bounds. Faith, how do you feel competing in a primarily male orientated company such as ECW? Or in the male orientated business of professional wrestling?"

"Well, I guess the best way to put it is that I genuinely don't care whether it's a guy or a girl I'm fighting," Faith said, "To me, they're just an opponent. And, sure, in this business, it's very unlikely that I'll get anything other than a women's championship or a tag-team championship, but, I really don't care about the gold. I care about going out in that ring and kicking ass the only way I know how," she wrapped her arms around Xander, "And, you know, rooting for boytoy in the ring, too."

Xander smiled and kiss her hand, which led to a momentary make-out session.

"Does this happen a lot," Matt asked.

"You've no idea," Jonathan said.

They waited for a few moments as Xander and Faith calmed down.

"…I'm sorry, what was the question," Faith asked.

"New question," Matt said, "Your most recent match was against former ECW wrestler Jim Fullington," at their confused looks, he said, "The Sandman. This was his last match before leaving for WCW. How did you feel when he left?"

"A little betrayed and let down," Faith said, "I mean, me and him had a sorta father-daughter thing going, so, it was kinda like, y'know, I was losing my dad. But, he did what he did to help his family, to make sure everything stayed good for his family. I can't fault him for that. And, it's not all bad, me and him talk every other day. So, we're making the best of it."

"Do you have any plans of potentially moving to either WWF or WCW," Matt asked.

"No," Faith said immediately, "I'm like boytoy in that, if I wanna wrestle, I'll wrestle for ECW, and no where else."

"There have been rumors that fellow ECW wrestler Jazz wants to wrestle you when she gets back from Japan," Matt said, "Will you face her?"

"When she gets back from Japan, if she wants to go, we'll go," Faith said simply.

"Alright, moving on," Matt said, "Jonathan, you're the manager for both Faith and Xander. In the course of this, you've become known for setting traps for Xander's opponents, such as when you tripped the entire Triple Threat and rigged up that table to move. This has gotten you a mixed reaction with the wrestling community, with some thinking you're an excellent manager and others thinking that you're just a cheating jerk."

"Well, I mean, look at me," Jonathan said, "I'm not a fighter. The first time I was at an ECW event, I hit Justin Credible with a chair to try and stop him from messing Xander up. The chair did nothing to him, I did nothing to him. My skill isn't in the physical bit. As a manager, it's my job to look after Faith and Xander as much as I can, which usually involves me stopping the other guy's manager from cheating. That bit with the table, though, I gotta be honest. I saw that Rob uses tables in his matches more often than not, so, before the event got started, I rigged up all the tables with controls. I was only gonna use them if Rob and Fonzie worked together like they did with Xander's match against Sabu for the FTW Championship. The match was just brutal, though, so I knew I had to do something about it."

"OK, last question for all of you," Matt said, "How do you feel about ECW moving to TNN in the coming months?"

"Well, it'll be in the middle of '99 that that happens," Jono said, "I personally feel that it's a great move forward for ECW. I do have some misgivings, it might be too soon that we're doing this, but, I think that Paul E and all the guys in the back can handle it."

"I have some personal misgivings about being on national television, but, it'll be about that time that Rob should be coming back," Xander said, "So, who knows, I may or may not be around that long. We'll see."

"What he said," Faith said, bored with the interview.

"OK, well, thank you guys very much," Matt said as he put away his recorder, "I'll send you a copy of the article."

"Thanks," Xander said as he shook Matt's hand, "Have a safe flight."

"Thanks," Matt said as he waved by to Faith and Jono and headed for his terminal.

"That was boring," Faith muttered, "Let's never do an interview again."

"Agreed," Xander said, "I want a burger!"

"Oh, BK," Jono said, putting off to the side.

"Awesome," Xander said, grabbing Faith's hand, "Next stop: full stomach!"


	25. Chapter 22

Going to Extremes

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

ҖECWҖ

"Hey, Xander," Tommy said as he came up to him, "I read your interview in _PWI_. Good to hear that you're staying till after Rob gets his rematch."

"Yeah, well, I promised that I'd stay till after he gets back," Xander said, letting a hand go to the TV Title wrapped around his waist, "I owe him that much."

"You feel guilty about that, don't you," Tommy said, "You did what you had to do to win, man. Even Rob knows that."

"I didn't care about winning, though," Xander said with a sigh, "I just wanted it to end."

"…Maybe you weren't ready to end it," Tommy said, "Maybe you wanna stay in ECW."

"…I kinda do," Xander said, "But, not enough to damn near kill my friend."

"Look at it this way," Tommy said, "Rob's alive, and it's thanks to you that he is. If you hadn't performed that move the way you had, Rob probably would've died. You did it exactly right to keep him alive."

"…Thanks, Tommy," Xander said, "But, this is something I'm gonna have to get over. No amount of logic is going to help."

"Alright, man," Tommy said, "You let me know if you need someone to talk to."

"I appreciate that, Tommy," Xander said, shaking his hand, "I really do."

ҖECWҖ

"Sabu," Francine called out, a microphone in her hands and a camera crew behind her, "Sabu, can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Anything you gotta say to him," Fonzie said, coming in front of Sabu, "You can say to me."

"I was just wondering what you're gonna do now that Rob Van Dam can't compete," Francine said, "Without him, you can either get a new tag team partner or forfeit the titles."

"Oh, don't you worry about that, pretty lady," Fonzie said, giving her body a once-over, "My man, Sabu, he'll find someone! Maybe not someone who's as good as RVD, but someone!"

"What about Xander Harris," Francine suggested, "He did beat RVD for the TV Title Sunday. He'd be the best replacement. Or, are you going to honor his request for a rematch?"

"Rematch," Fonzie asked.

"Both Xander Harris and Taz have made mention about getting rematches for the FTW Championship," Francine said, only telling a half-truth.

"Lemme tell you something," Fonzie said, "If either the 'Hardcore King of Extreme-wussy,' or that son of a bitch Taz wants a rematch," Fonzie slapped Sabu's FTW Championship, "They got it."

Sabu began to walk away, with Fonzie running to catch up. Francine smiled a devious smile as they walked away.

ҖECWҖ

_Born to Raise Hell_ came on, and the fans lit up.

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

**X-F-J!! X-F-J!! X-F-J!!**

The fans continued the chants till Jonathan and Faith came out, standing to both sides of the curtain. Then, after a moment, right when the music paused and the speakers blasted out 'BORN TO RAISE HELL,' Xander walked out from the curtain, the ECW World Television Title securely around his waist. All three were dressed in black shirts, Faith and Xander's ripped, with Ash and a chainsaw and shotgun crossed on it.

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

Jonathan went first and held the ropes open for Faith and Xander, then went in himself. Faith got on the top rope of one corner while Jonathan got on the top rope of another corner. Xander stood in between them and let the music go on for a second before taking the belt off. He wrapped the belt around both hands and lifted it up, showing the world that he was the ECW Television Champion.

"Xander Harris won that title last Sunday at ECW November To Remember," Joey Styles said, "It is the first professional wrestling title that Xander Harris has ever won in his life, and many people are wondering if the ECW World Heavyweight Championship will be added to that."

"Ladies and Gentlemen," Faith shouted into the microphone, "Introducing your NEW ECW WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPION…THE X-MAN, MY BOYTOY, XANDER HARRIS!!"

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

"…Thanks, Faith," Xander said with a grin as she pecked him on the cheek, "Paul E asked me to come out here and give a speech, since it's my first title…ever! I'm not one for speeches, so, I'm just gonna say a few things. First off, give your love…for Rob Van Dam!"

**WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW!! WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW!!**

**RVD!! RVD!! RVD!! RVD!! RVD!! RVD!!**

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

"Last Sunday, Rob got his shoulder broken in three places," Xander informed the audience, "The doctors don't know how long it'll take him to recover, but, if I know Rob, he'll be back in this ring, demanding his rematch in a week's time!"

**WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW!! WHOLE FUCKIN' SHOW!!**

"Rob told me to enjoy this, to enjoy being the champ, and, you know what," Xander said, pulling the championship closer to himself, "I plan on it! Me being the champion is just…GROOVY!!"

**GROOV-A!!**

"That's not all-" Xander was about to continue, till _Trust_ by _Megadeth_ came on.

**JERRY!! JERRY!! JERRY!! JERRY!!**

Jerry Lynn came out from behind the curtain, dressed in his usual leggings and boots with his blonde hair and goatee immaculately in place. He quickly got up into the ring, mic in hand.

"Can I help you, Jerry," Xander asked, a little miffed at his celebration being interrupted.

"Yeah, you can," Jerry said, "Me and Rob were going to have a match for the title sometime, but, since he's not here, I find myself in need of a match."

"Well, if Rob promised you a match, then I see no reason not to honor that," Xander said with a grin, "You and me for the TV Title. Guys, what do you think?"

Jono and Faith gave him a thumbs up. The fans added their two cents.

**WE WANT IT NOW!! WE WANT IT NOW!! WE WANT IT NOW!!**

"Sorry, guys, you don't get it just yet," Jerry said, eliciting boos from the crowd, "Next week, X, how does that sound?"

"Sounds like a plan," Xander said, shaking the man's hand.

"Awesome," Jerry said, "And, since Rob's gone, ECW's in need of a show. I'm here to say, right now, in front of the whole world…Rob was the Whole F'N Show…Jerry Lynn is the NEW F'N SHOW!!"

The fans were kind of divided on that, some giving him boos and others gave him cheers.

"Alright, you watch what you say, man," Xander said, a little stiffly, "That's my friend you're talking about there."

"Right," Jerry said, obviously not caring, "Next week, X. Next week!"

"…As I was saying," Xander started, till he was interrupted again, "Ah, for cryin' out loud!"

_Money, Power, & Respect_ by _The L.O.X._ came on, and Jazz walked out, a confident stride in her step as she approached the ring, dressed in her ring gear and a leather jacket.

"Cut the music," Jazz said as she came into the ring, "You and me, Faith. We got some business to discuss!"

Xander and Jonathan just shared a look, then headed off to a ring corner and sat down to wait.

"What's up, girl," Faith said, diverting back to her Bostonian accent.

"I ain't yo girl," Jazz said in to the mic, "And you know wat's up! I wanna match witchu!"

"Then why the Hell didn't you just ask," Faith said, "I'll fight anyone, anytime, and any-goddamn-where!"

"How 'bout right the fuck now and here, bitch," Jazz shouted.

"Oh, boy," Joey said.

Faith just stared at her for a moment, a shark-like smile on her face as she tossed her mic away.

"You want it," Faith asked, "Come get some!"

Jazz threw away her mic and made to attack Faith.

"Ladies, ladies, ladies," Paul E said as he came out, "Now, as much as I love hearing Joey shout 'CATFIGHT, CATFIGHT' like a little girl-"

"Thanks, boss," Joey said sarcastically.

"We got other things to do tonight," Paul continued, getting into the ring, "Faith, Jazz, next week, you two can fight all you want, but not tonight. Tonight, we got other things to do. Tonight, in our main event, ECW World Heavyweight Champion, Taz, will go one-on-one with Jerry Lynn! But, right now, we need you to get out so Justin Credible and Tommy Dreamer can have a match. So…scram!"

"You and me," Jazz said as she made to leave, "We gonna go all night, bitch!"

"Don't count on it," Faith said with a grin.

ҖECWҖ

Xander sat back in his ringside seat as he watched Jerry Lynn and Taz fight it out. Faith had been against it, but she knew that he had never seen Jerry fight before, so he had a right to get a look beforehand. Still, he had a feeling that something was gonna happen tonight…something big.

He watched with an impressed look as Jerry landed on his feet after Taz's T-bone tazplex, and he quickly dropkicked him in the back of his head, sending him down to the mat. Jerry ran to the ropes and made to clothesline him as he came up, but Taz caught him and gave him a Tazplex to the mat, then slapped on the tazmission.

Before the ref could even begin counting, though, _Huka Blues_ came on. Xander watched apathetically as Sabu jumped up into the ring and crossbodied Taz to the ground. He tossed Jerry Lynn outside the ring, even as Fonzie began to set up a table outside the ring. Jerry came to his feet as he watched Sabu toss Taz onto the table. Jerry seemed to come to a decision as he turned back around and headed for Xander.

"Mind if I borrow that chair," Jerry asked.

Xander thought for a second, then stood up and handed him the chair.

"Thanks," Jerry said as he folded it up and turned for the ring.

Just as he was about to get into the ring, though, Jerry turned around and slammed the chair into Xander's forehead, dropping Xander to the ground.

**JERRY SUCKS DICK!! JERRY SUCKS DICK!!**

"Apparently, Jerry Lynn wants to get in some hits before his match next week," Joey said as Jerry continued to hit Xander with the chair.

Jerry didn't get too many more hits in, though, as Sabu dropped outta the sky and landed squarely on Jerry's back, sending him down into the chair, knocking him out. Xander looked up at Sabu from the ground in shock.

"…Thanks," he said.

Sabu extended a hand to him, which Xander gratefully took. As Xander came to his feet, however, Sabu pulled him back and Irish whipped him into the guardrail, causing him to collapse to his knees as he hung onto the table that was supporting Taz. Fonzie came out of nowhere and hit him in the back of the head with a chair. To him, when combined with the multiple hits Jerry had landed to his head, it felt like Hell. Fonzie and Sabu got him up on the table, then Sabu jumped into the ring as Fonzie set up the chair. Sabu jumped onto the chair, then onto the ropes, balanced himself on them just long enough to turn around on them, then did a moonsault from the top rope onto both Taz and Xander, sending them through the table to the concrete below.

"OH, MY GOD," Joey shouted.

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!**

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

_You Shook Me All Night Long_ came on as Faith and Jono ran to check on Xander. Sabu and Fonzie quickly got up into the ring, with Fonzie holding a mic and Sabu holding the chair.

"Xander, Taz, if you want to get in the ring with my man, Sabu," Fonzie shouted, "You'd best make sure you got life insurance, cause neither one of you will walk out of that ring alive!"

Faith, in a fury, leapt up into the ring, and right into the chair that Sabu had thrown, sending her rolling on top of Xander and Taz.

"And, last but for damn sure not least, Sabu has chosen his brand new tag team partner…MIKE AWESOME!"

_Awesome Bomb_ by _The Slashtones_ came on and Mike Awesome came out a second later, with the other Tag Team belt on his shoulder. Mike's name fully conveyed just what kind of a force he was. He stood at 6 feet and 6 inches, was thickly muscled, and looked like he would fight you to the death…even though the mullet was somewhat comical.

"You and Jerry Lynn are going at it next week, but, the week after that, Taz, Xander, and my man, Sabu, are going to be in a three way dance for the FTW Championship!"

**WE WANT IT NOW!! WE WANT IT NOW!! WE WANT IT NOW!!**


	26. Chapter 23

Going to Extremes

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

ҖECWҖ

Xander walked around the back as he waited for the night to begin. It had already been a Hell of a week, as the demons over at DCW had gone on strike until they saw a pay increase. W&H had stepped in and come to a settlement, one that took money out of ECW, forcing them to push back a PPV for later next year. As a result, Paul was petitioning to TNN to allow ECW to start airing on their network sooner than expected. He couldn't blame Paul, as all things considered; ECW wouldn't survive the coming years if there wasn't some progress.

Sighing, he stopped at the water fountain and got himself a drink. He stiffened up, however, when he felt someone come up behind him.

"Good instincts, kid," he slowly turned around, glaring at Shane Douglas as he smiled down at him, "You could feel that I was there, couldn't you?"

"What do you want, Franchise," Xander asked, already tired of talking to the prick.

"You know, I first got into the wrestling business when I was eighteen years old. That was almost twenty years ago. When I started, I just wanted to wrestle. The money meant jack to me, I just wanted to enjoy being in the ring and doing what I was put on this Earth to do-"

"This going somewhere," Xander asked, bored already.

"Yeah, if you'd shut your goddamned mouth, you'd see exactly where it's heading," Shane said, glaring down at him, "The point is…I've seen a lot of kids like you in this business. People start out, they don't care about titles or money, they just wanna wrestle. But, the thing is, you've got a taste of that gold already. It'll start to grow on you, and you'll like having that belt on your shoulder," Shane patted Xander's TV Title, "And, pretty soon, you'll want more."

"I'm not in the business to stay," Xander said, brushing Shane's hand off.

"You may not be, but, sooner or later, you'll want to stay and win titles," Shane said with a laugh, "It's inevitable. Everyone falls for the gold. It eats at them…it drives them insane with lust."

Xander stared up at him, a disbelieving and, yet, oddly trancelike look on his face.

"Maybe you'll be different," Shane said, laughingly, "But I doubt that…see ya around, kid."

Shane turned around and walked away, laughing as he did so, leaving Xander behind with a pensive look on his face.

ҖECWҖ

Rupert Giles walked into Willy's bar with a pensive look on his face. It was oddly busy for a night, as most of the clientele were rambunctious and energetic. The place was 'alive' with energy, and he was very curious as to why.

"Hey," Willy shouted, "It's the Watcher! The Slayer's Watcher's here!"

Ordinarily, that would cause several vampires to leave, but, apparently they were not in the move to vacate the premises as they merely ignored him.

"What's up," Willy asked as he cleaned a glass.

"A Guinness, if you would," Giles said, pulling out a fifty, "And some information."

"Here ya go," Willy said as he handed him a bottle of Guinness, "And…"

"Deputy Mayor Finch came to my charge earlier tonight," Giles said, "He made some mention as to the Mayor of Sunnydale, and some dirty dealings of his. Do you know anything?"

"…Listen up, pal, ain't no way I'm gonna share that with you, not for forty-something bucks," Willy said, "I will tell you this much: the sooner the Slayer kills the Mayor, the better it will be for everyone."

"…I see," Giles said, "May I use your telephone?"

Willy pointed to the back and Giles nodded, walking up to the payphone as inserting his money.

"…Buffy, it's Giles," he said, "Willy refuses to give us clear indication, but, he's made it quite clear that it would be best to dispatch our beloved Mayor as soon as possible…Buffy, you can't simply go walking up the front door and expect…Buffy, you can't do this alone, at least take Angel with you…Buffy!"

He sighed as the line went dead. Ever since Xander's disappearance, his charge had been acting very hostile. Not just towards him, but to just about anyone. He believed it was due to pent up aggression towards Xander, along with feelings of guilt over sending Angel to Hell. Willow, on the other hand, had seemingly receded into herself. She was no longer the vibrant and quirky young lady that he had met just over two years ago. These days, she dressed in black and was little more than a vessel of what she once was. Oz had tried to pull her out of her shell, but she had simply pulled away from him till he couldn't take it anymore and left. He still helped with the slaying, but he was nowhere near as close to them as he once was.

Sighing, he turned around, only to receive a start as he walked directly into Angel.

"What are you doing here," Angel asked immediately.

"None of your bloody business," Giles retorted, disliking Angel's superior attitude, before sighing and saying, "Actually, I was here gathering information for Buffy."

Giles went on to explain the situation for him, which caused Angel's brow to crease in frustration.

"She's gonna get herself killed," Angel said, "…So, you have no idea what's going on tonight?"

"Here," Giles said, "Not a clue. Why?"

Angel sighed and asked, "If I were to tell you where Xander is, would you tell Buffy?"

"Xander, you know where he is," Giles started, fearing the worst.

"Answer the question," Angel said.

"…No," Giles responded after a moment of thought, "I do not agree with Buffy's actions towards him, even though I did nothing to prevent them myself."

"…Do me a favor," Angel said, "Stay here tonight. Watch the television."

"Why on Earth would I want to do that," Giles asked.

"…Please," Angel said, full sincerity in his voice, "Just trust me."

ҖECWҖ

_Money, Power, & Respect_ came on as Jazz made her entrance to the arena, with the fans mixed up in booing and cheering for her. She paced around the ring as she took off her leather jacket, tossing it down to a ring attendant as she stretched out her body.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another addition of Extreme Championship Wrestling," Joey said, "Later tonight, we have the ECW World Television Championship on the line as Xander Harris takes on Jerry Lynn in his first title defense. For right now, however, we have the Dark Slayer, Faith, taking on the Super Bitch, Jazz."

_You Shook Me All Night Long_ came on, and the fans went positively nuts. They sang along to the song until the moment when Faith came out, at which point they just descended into rampant cheers.

"Wow," Joey said, "I cannot believe how over Faith is with the ECW fans…then again, there's a reason why she's so over."

Faith walked down to the ring, dressed in her usual leather pants and a ripped up _Nirvana_ t-shirt, exposing her black lace bra in certain places. She quickly leapt into the ring and got on the top rope, flashing the rock sign to the fans.

**FAITH!! FAITH!! FAITH!! GOTTA HAVE…FAITH!!**

"Most unoriginal chant ever," Joey said, ala the Comic Book Guy.

The bell rang, and both Faith and Jazz began to circle up. Jazz went for Faith's leg, but Faith simply dodged to the side and went for a kick to the side of Jazz's head. Jazz, however, saw it coming and rolled out the way, coming to her feet as she did so. Faith ran at her and went for a clothesline, but Jazz ducked it and grabbed Faith by her arms and pressed her hands into her upper back, then lifted her up in a chickenwing maneuver, causing the fans to applaud the show of real wrestling.

"Jazz applies the Bitch Clamp," Joey said, 'So far, these two women have been evenly matched up, so let's see how this goes."

Faith could feel the pressure on her back and neck, but thanks to her Slayer endurance, it felt more like a tickle than anything else. She saw that she was near the ropes, so she pushed herself up and pushed back on the ropes, causing Jazz to lose her balance and fall onto her back. Faith rolled through with it and used her feet against the mat to push Jazz's shoulders down.

**ONE…TWO-**

Jazz let go of the hold and kicked out. Faith quickly pulled her up and tucked her head between her legs, eliciting a series of cheers and catcalls from the audience. She smiled at them and proceeded to grind her groin into Jazz's face, eliciting even more cheers from the audience.

"Oh, my," Joey said, flustered, "Well, Faith is…certainly putting on a show…for the fans. Can I get some water, please?"

Faith completed the move as she lifted Jazz up, intending to powerbomb her into the mat…Jazz, however, got out of the hold and grabbed Faith's head, bringing her down in a thunderous DDT!

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Faith quickly came to her feet, just in time to receive a kick to the stomach. Jazz grabbed her head and hair, then jumped up and slammed Faith's head into the mat between her legs, eliciting cheers and boos from the crowd. Jazz quickly rolled her over and went for the pin.

**ONE…TW-**

Faith quickly kicked out, then grabbed Jazz's head with her legs, locking in a triangle choke. Jazz managed to force her way out of it, and quickly came to her feet. Faith launched herself up and went for a kick to Jazz's upper body, but Jazz did a cartwheel to the side, catching Faith's leg with her own legs and pulling her down to the side as she completed the move, causing Faith to flip into the air and land face-first on the mat.

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Jazz ran for the ropes and did a dropkick to Faith's forehead, sending her reeling to the mat. Jazz then ran for the ropes and jumped up, landing on Faith in a splash for the cover.

**ONE…TWO…-**

Faith kicked out of it. Jazz got off of her and, in frustration, went ringside and grabbed a chair. She quickly got back inside the ring and aimed to hit Faith in the head, but Faith kicked her in the stomach then swatted the chair to the ground. Faith then grabbed Jazz's head and pulled her down, DDT-ing her onto the chair. She flipped her onto her back and went for the pin.

**ONE…TWO…THR-**

Jazz kicked out, causing the fans to applaud her.

**THIS MATCH RULES!! THIS MATCH RULES!! THIS MATCH RULES!!**

Faith went outside the ring and tossed a second chair into the ring before pulling out a garbage can. She got back into the ring with the can, only to use it to block the chairshot Jazz had gone for. The chair caught Faith's fingers, however, causing her to let go off the can in pain. Jazz went for another shot, but Faith quickly ducked down and rolled out of the way. She grabbed the other chair and went for a shot of her own, which Jazz blocked. The two traded chairshots for a moment, before Faith landed a devastating blow to Jazz's chair, causing her to drop the chair and sit back in the corner, trying to shake her arms loose.

"Damn, bitch," Jazz said, "You pack a mean punch for your size."

"Right back at you," Faith said.

She threw the chair at Jazz, who caught it, and jumped down at her, dropkicking the chair into Jazz's face.

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! FAITH!! FAITH!! GOTTA HAVE…FAITH!!**

Jazz instinctively rolled out of the ring, walking along ringside to get her head clear. Faith, seeing a window of opportunity, ran from the ropes on the other side and did a side-flip over the ropes, causing herself to spin in midair and land on Jazz with her head in the crook of Faith's arm. Faith leaned backward immediately upon grabbing Jazz's head, and pulled her back, completing the move as she drove Jazz's head into the concrete in a hellacious DDT!

"OH, MY GOD," Joey shouted

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

"Faith with some kinda diving…side-diving…Hell, I dunno what to call that, I just know it had to hurt," Joey shouted.

Faith quickly pulled Jazz up into the ring and covered her.

**ONE…TWO…THRE-**

"Jazz lifts her arm up at two and seventeen-eighteenths," Joey said, "Say what you will about Jazz, but she's one tough woman!"

Faith sat back in the corner as she thought about how she wanted to end this. She was seriously worried that Jazz was a Slayer or something, considering how much punishment she'd taken from Faith. But, she wasn't getting a bleep from Jazz on her Slaydar, so she figured that she was just an incredibly tough woman. Sighing, she sat up and grabbed the garbage can and the chair and waited for Jazz to straighten herself up.

The second Jazz was steady on her feet, Faith put the can over her and slammed the chair repeatedly into the can, causing Jazz to lose her balance. Faith kicked her over towards the ropes and slammed the chair into her again, then tossed the chair and went back underneath the ring. After a moment of searching, Faith pulled out a ladder and carried it around to the other side of the ring. She stuck it between the second and top rope, then got back into the ring.

She hit Jazz with the chair again, stopping her from resisting as she laid Jazz on the ladder, still in the can. She took the chair and unfolded it a little bit away, hoping she'd gotten the angle right, then climbed the top rope. The fans were on their feet as they saw what was about to happen. Faith took one more moment to make sure Jazz was still in position, then leapt from the top rope onto the ladder, pulling it down to the floor with her own weight. Jazz, in the meantime, was thrown from the ladder in a seesaw and landed onto the top of the chair, driving the edge through the can into Jazz's upper body!

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!**

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

"Jesus," Joey shouted, "If that's not it, then we may need to simply stop this match before they kill each other!"

Faith took a little bit to climb into the ring, but, once she was inside, she quickly pulled the can off of Jazz and covered her.

**ONE…TWO…THREE!!**

Faith got off of her and checked her over, seeing that Jazz had been busted open, but was otherwise fine. Jazz slowly came around and looked up into Faith's face. Faith got to her feet and offered Jazz a hand up, which Jazz took.

"You know, you're probably the toughest bitch I've ever met in my life," Faith said with a smile.

Jazz stared at her for a moment before smiling and saying, "You, too."

Jazz raised Faith's hand and pointed at her as _You Shook Me All Night Long_ came on.

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**


	27. Chapter 24

Going to Extremes

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

ҖECWҖ

Giles stared up at the television in something akin to awe. That woman, Faith, had to have been either a very well trained person…or a Slayer. He resolved, then and there, to do some checking with the counsel…discretely, of course.

He turned his attention back to the television as the main event started.

ҖECWҖ

_Trust _by _Megadeth _came on and, after a few moments, Jerry Lynn walked out from behind the curtain to a mixture of boos and cheers, though more boos than last week. He got in the ring and made the rock sign with his hands and pointed his thumbs at himself, ala Rob Van Dam.

A few moments later, _Judgment Day_ came on and the fans went nuts.

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

Xander came out from behind the curtain, dressed in his usual jeans and a ripped up _Seinfeld_ t-shirt on; it had George's head and the phrase 'the jerk store called…they're runnin' outta you!' The TV Title was wrapped securely around his waist, drawing the envious gaze of Jerry Lynn.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the announcer said, "This is your main event! The following contest is scheduled for one-fall, with a fifteen-minute time limit, and it is for the ECW World Television Championship!

"In the corner to my left, the challenger! From Minneapolis, Minnesota, he weighs in tonight at two-hundred pounds, and is the self-proclaimed New F'N Show," he paused for a moment as the fans began to chant.

**RVD!! RVD!! RVD!! RVD!! RVD!!**

"Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you…JERRY LYNN!!"

**IS A HAS-BEEN!!**

"Obviously, the fans have taken special offense to Jerry Lynn's 'New F'N Show' deal," Joey said.

"And, in the corner to my right, he is the current ECW World Television Champion!! From la Boca del Inferno, California, weighing in at two-hundred thirty-nine pounds, ladies and gentlemen, I give to you, the Hardcore King of Extreme, the X-Man…XANDER HARRIS!!"

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

ҖECWҖ

Giles cleaned his glasses with renewed fervor as he felt a mixture of emotions rise up in him. Angel knew of this, he had to have…but, he hadn't told Buffy, he was sure of it. If he had, Buffy would be on a plane heading towards him to exact her revenge.

He sighed, seeing that his former 'son' had achieved a good bit of success in this 'Extreme Championship Wrestling.' A champion, already, after only a little over five months missing. He was surprised that he'd willingly risked being on television, however, especially considering that Buffy could see him by accident. Still, he decided, then and there, to do everything in his power to ensure that she never saw ECW on television.

ҖECWҖ

**ONE…-**

Jerry kicked out of the pin attempt by Xander, then quickly rolled up to his feet. Xander went for a stiff chop to his side, but Jerry dodged and grabbed the arm, then pulled him down and locked in an armbar. Xander struggled with it for a moment before using his back to force himself up, then he kicked Jerry in the forehead with both his boots, sending him reeling away from him.

Xander came to his feet and ran for the ropes, and came off of them just in time to duck a dropkick from Jerry. Xander stayed below him and, when Jerry came down, he landed on Xander's shoulder, with his arm keeping him from moving. Xander quickly maneuvered him over to the corner and tossed him down, trapping Jerry's leg on the top rope leaving him upside-down in the Tree of Woe. Xander walked outside the ring and brought in a chair, then slammed it into Jerry's head, keeping him from moving. After making sure it was secure against Jerry's head, Xander grabbed ahold of the top rope and jumped off the second rope, still holding onto the top rope, and pulled his legs down to hellaciously kick the chair into Jerry's head!!

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

Xander tossed the chair away and slowly got Jerry to his feet, then Irish whipped him into the ropes, intending on chopping him in the chest. Jerry, however, used his arm as momentum and jumped up, wrapped his legs around Xander's head, and pulled him down in a headscissors takedown. Xander rolled to the mat and quickly came to his feet, ducking the clothesline attempt by Jerry and countering it by grabbing him around the waist and doing a German Suplex on him, sending him back on the mat. Xander ran to the other side of the ropes and did a springboard corkscrew moonsault, landing on Jerry and staying on him. The ref didn't count, however, as Jerry's arm was under the ropes. Xander got up and went to the ropes again, doing a springboard legdrop to keep Jerry down before pulling him out and covering him.

**ONE…TW-**

Jerry kicked out swiftly, then pushed Xander away from him as he got to his feet. Xander rolled up to his feet and the two both ran for the ropes. Xander aimed for a low dropkick while Jerry went for a high one, causing the two to miss each other. Xander rolled out of the way and back to his feet before Jerry hit the ground, then went for a legdrop on him. Jerry dodged and got back to his feet, where he kicked Xander in the gut and attempted to DDT him. Xander pushed Jerry back into the ropes and, when Jerry ran back at him, chopped him in his side, sending Jerry down to the mat, shaking violently as he dealt with the pain caused by the chop.

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Xander climbed the top rope and walked along the top rope, amazingly keeping his balance as he did so. He waited till Jerry was up, then jumped a good four feet into the air of the rope, landed on the top rope with his legs in a sitting position. This caused him to rotate backwards, causing him to kick Jerry in the head as he completed the rotation!

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

"That was impressive," Joey said, "I dunno what the Hell you'd call that, but Xander is the king of coming up with moves on the fly!"

Xander followed through with it by executing a springboard legdrop. He flipped Jerry onto his stomach, then grabbed his leg and sat back on it, causing Jerry to writhe in pain.

"Single-leg Californian crab from Xander," Joey said, "He's really trying to up his game here tonight."

Jerry eventually managed to kick out of it, sending Xander to the other side of the ring. Jerry quickly got back to his feet and ran at Xander, dodging his clothesline attempt. He jumped onto the second rope and leapt off of it, executing a moonsault to Xander's side, where he caught his head in the crook of his arm and pulled him back down, performing a flawless springboard inverted DDT!

**JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!**

"The ECW fans may not like Jerry Lynn too much, but they know good wrestling when they see it," Joey commented.

Jerry quickly lifted him up and tucked his head into his groin. He lifted him up and rotated Xander onto his shoulders, then ran forward and slammed Xander to the ground as he sat down, simultaneously placing his legs over Xander's arms in a pin.

**ONE…TWO…THR-**

Xander managed to kick out of it and, before Jerry could move, he kicked him in the chest, sending him rolling away. Xander rolled himself onto his feet and ran for the ropes, only to walk right into Jerry's arms. Jerry caught him with a hand at his groin and another at his shoulder, doing a powerslam onto Xander. Jerry quickly went down to the concrete and pulled a chair out. He got back into the ring and set it up in a corner. He went back to Xander and pulled him up, keeping Xander's head caught in the crook of his arm as he pulled him towards the corner. Jerry sat up on the top rope, still holding Xander's head, then leapt off the top rope, rotating around and bringing Xander's head down to the chair in a Tornado DDT!

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!**

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Jerry quickly covered him for the pin.

**ONE…TWO…THRE-**

"Xander kicks out at two and seventeen-eighteenths," Joey shouted.

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

Jerry sighed in frustration and pulled Xander up. He lifted him up and wrapped one arm around his waist and looped the other through his groin till he connected it to his other arm. Then, he intended to bring him down onto his head as he went to his knees in a cradle tombstone piledriver…

Xander, however, rotated his body forward and came to his feet, with Jerry still holding on. Before he let go, however, Xander swiftly sat down, slamming Jerry's head and neck into the mat!

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Xander then pushed him off and grabbed the chair. He set it up, then lifted Jerry up, holding his head in the crook of his arm. He then rotated around, causing Jerry's head to go up to his shoulder, then leapt backwards, over Jerry's body, pulling his head down to the chair as he performed a thunderous X-Factor!

"OH, MY GOD," Joey shouted, "HE'S BUSTED WIDE OPEN!"

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!**

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

Xander quickly covered him.

**ONE…TWO…THREE!!**

"Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, and still the ECW World Television Champion…XANDER THE X-MAN HARRIS!!"

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

Xander got up off of Jerry and extended his hand to him. Jerry stared up at him for a moment before taking the hand. Xander helped him to his feet, but still held his hand.

"That was a Hell of a match," he said, "You're a Hell of a wrestler."

"…You, too," Jerry said, and the two shook hands.

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

As Jerry left, Xander grabbed a mic and his Title, placing the latter over his shoulder.

"Ladies and gentlemen," he said into the mic, "I've been wrestling here in ECW for a little under half a year now, and I am grateful to say that you have accepted me and welcomed me into this ring. I thank each and every one of you for that."

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

"I just wanted to get that off my chest before I say this," Xander said, "Next week, at the ECW Arena in Philadelphia, there will be a three-way dance involving the ECW World Heavyweight Champion, Taz, the FTW Heavyweight Champion, Sabu, and myself. This match is for the FTW Championship. Ordinarily, for this type of match, I'd have Jono in my corner. However, I am proud to announce that next week, ECW shall be the proud host of one of Hollywood's most unappreciated phenomenons…next week, in my corner, shall be the original King of Extreme, the man they call 'Ash,' the Chin…that's right, we got Bruce Campbell on the show!!"

The fans, all of whom were familiar with the actor, immediately began to cheer and applaud in an uproar. Eventually, a chant began to break out.

**HAIL TO THE CHIN!! HAIL TO THE CHIN!! HAIL TO THE CHIN!!**

"Hell Yeah," Xander shouted as he dropped the mic, letting _Judgment Day_ come on.

"Holy crap," Joey said, "We got Bruce Campbell on the show! I guess it's only fitting, seeing as he's the king of B-Movies and most people relate us as the B-Movie of pro wrestling!"

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

ҖECWҖ

Giles watched the screen as Xander walked backstage. From what he had just seen, he had obviously neglected to properly train Xander. If he was capable of doing what he'd just done, then he could simply imagine what Xander would do to a vampire. He'd never thought of Xander as much of a mobile fighter, though, but it was obvious that the boy had it in him.

He looked up as he prepared to leave, only to see Angel walk through the front door. He swiftly came over to him and sat down.

"How long have you known that Xander was there," Giles asked.

"A few months," Angel admitted, "Cordelia knows as well, and that's it. I haven't told Buffy."

"I don't suppose you'd care to share why," Giles said.

"…Cordelia visited him a few weeks ago," Angel said, "He's doing fine."

"That's good to hear," Giles said.

"Buffy and I found the Mayor in the middle of some kind of ritual," Angel said, "We managed to kill him before he got finished, thankfully."

"…That's good," Giles said, "…We must do all we can to keep this from Buffy."

"Keep what from Buffy," the two stiffened as they heard her voice.

They both slowly focused their attention over to the Slayer as she walked up to them. Even though she still looked the same, both could see it in her eyes…a kind of deranged anger that demanded aggression wherever she went.

"Keep what from me," she asked again, her tone displaying that she was in no mood for trifling.

"…It's alright, Giles," Angel said, giving him a look, "It's time she knew, anyway."

"What are you doing, you pillock," Giles hissed at him.

"Shut up, Giles," Buffy snarled, "What is it?"

"…I'm leaving soon," Angel confessed, "Probably before graduation."

"…What," Buffy seemed to be at a loss for words, "Why would you do such a thing?"

"…We can't be together, Buffy," Angel said, "I can see what's happening to you. You're not the same person I fell in love with…you're just…nothing now."

Buffy stared at him in disbelief for a moment before she took on an enraged look.

"Fine," she muttered, turning away from the two as she stomped out of the bar.

"…Angel," Giles started.

"Don't," the vampire softly interrupted him, "It's alright. Buffy and I need to be apart…maybe without me, she can have a normal life…or, at least, pull herself together."

"…One can hope," Giles said as he took a sip of his Guinness.

_I rather doubt it_, he thought.


	28. Chapter 25

Going to Extremes

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

A/N: I'm gonna go ahead and upload two chapters tonight. Mostly because this one serves a purpose and because I feel the need to hurry this along. After these two, there is one more, Chapter 27, the last chapter in Going to Extremes. Enjoy.

ҖECWҖ

Xander looked up at the television screen in a blur. He was pretty drunk at the moment, but, he was sure he'd remember this in the morning…eventually. At the moment, he was at Tommy's house with Tommy, Faith, Jono, New Jack, Spike, a few girls that New Jack had brought, and an old friend of Tommy's named…Kimona Wanalaya? Frankly, whenever he thought about her name, he had to resist the urge to giggle. It sounded too much like 'c'mon I wanna lay ya!'

"What is this we're watching," Jonathan asked, he was pretty blitzed.

"WCW," Spike answered, "Their…shitty program."

"Why the fuck is this shit on," New Jack said, taking his attention from his girls for a moment, "Turn it off, Tommy!"

"Shh, shh," Tommy said, leaning forward drunkenly, "Lemme see this."

"What're we watching," Faith asked, spilling some of her whiskey onto Xander's shirt, "Oh, I'm sorry, baby. Lemme lick that up."

Xander began to laugh as Faith literally began to lick his shirt.

"We're watching Sandman as he beats the living shit outta Raven," Tommy said, a very happy look on his face.

"Jesus, Tommy, are you still pissed off about Raven," Kimona asked drunkenly, "I mean, come on! You two met as kids and have been fighting for years! You got the girl…girls, including me, you finally beat him fair and square and, more importantly, you kicked his ass outta ECW! Get over it."

"Never," Tommy said, "He did too damn much to me to just let it go."

"…Where is Beulah, anyway," Kimona asked, "I haven't seen her since…that night."

"What night," Jono asked.

"The night me, Tommy, and Beulah had a threesome," Kimona said casually.

Jono spat out his beer in surprise and stared at Kimona in awe.

"You're gorgeous," he said, then he turned to Tommy and said, "You are a GOD!"

"Flattery will get you everywhere," Kimona said flirtatiously, leaning into Jono.

"Jono," Xander said as Faith crawled into his lap.

The two tapped beer bottles, and Faith joined in as she tapped his bottle with her glass.

"YES," Tommy damn near shouted, "Look at that."

Xander moved his head around Faith's to look at the screen. In the ring was Sandman, now going by the name Hak, and he was slamming a chair repeatedly into the head of a built man dressed in tattered jean shorts and a _Cradle of Filth_ t-shirt. The man had long hair and reminded him of the _Nirvana_ and _Alice in Chains_ band members. The man, he assumed he was a man, was bleeding from his head.

"Raven's bleeding," Tommy said, somewhat maniacally, "I never get tired of that."

"You got some issues with him, don't you, Dreamboat," Faith said.

"Oh, don't get him started," Kimona said as she took her attention from Jono, "Where is Beulah, anyway?"

"Hospital," Tommy said, "She's recovering from the neck surgery she had this week."

"Care to go somewhere…private, boytoy," Faith said sultrily.

"…'Scuse us, guys," Xander said as he and Faith stood up, "We're about to go have sex, if you know what I mean."

"Cheers, motherfucker," New Jack said.

"Not in my room," Tommy said, standing up and turning the television off as he did so, "Do whatever you will here, but you break it, you bought it. And, you clean everything up before you leave, got it?"

"Whatever, man," New Jack said, "Why don't we take this party elsewhere?"

ҖECWҖ

"…Ugh," Xander said as he opened his eyes, only to immediately close them again, "JESUS! Someone turn the light out!"

He moaned for a moment until he thought he could handle it again, then opened his eyes. He blinked through the hangover for a moment as he gathered his surroundings. He and Faith were underneath a blanket, and he could already tell that they were both naked. While it wasn't the first time they'd done it, it was the first time he'd been that drunk and done it.

He looked further into the room and saw one of the women New Jack had brought with him, but no sign of the man or the other woman. He looked even further into the main room and saw another blanket, with two people writhing underneath it. Sighing, Xander laid back down on the floor and wrapped his arm around Faith, preparing to get back to sleep.

That is, till a bucket of water was poured onto his face. He and Faith quickly woke up, though Faith stayed beneath the covers as Xander sat up. He looked up for a moment before his eyes rested on Tommy's face, which was staring at him.

"Up and away, sunshine," Tommy said, "I just got a call from the hospital. Beulah can come home today, and they say she should be able to move normally in the next few weeks."

"Excellent," Xander said, "G'night."

"Oh, no," Tommy said, grabbing Xander by his head and lifting him up, not giving a rat's ass about his nakedness, "All of you are going to help me get this place squared away before she gets here. Now, get your pants on and grab a broom, we got shit to do."

Tommy let go of him and moved on, gently kicking the other woman awake. He approached the blanket and lifted it open, then pulled…Jonathan out from under it?

"Dress up, Jono," Tommy said as he slapped him awake, "We got cleaning to do. You, too, Kimona."

Jono quickly brought his hands down to cover himself, then looked up at Xander, who simply stood there, too hung over to care that he was still in his birthday suit.

"…Nice," Xander said as Kimona poked her head out.

ҖECWҖ

Francine quietly approached Sabu's locker. He had come to the arena today to train, like he did every Tuesday, and he'd brought the FTW belt with him. He was in the shower at the moment, so now was the perfect time. She gently pulled the locker open and smiled as she saw the belt. She pulled it out gently and sat it on the bench, then pulled out a container. She quickly poured all it's contents onto the belt then muttered a few words in Latin. She speeded up, however, when she heard the shower turn off. As soon as she saw the belt glow, she put it back into the locker and left, barely avoiding Sabu as he walked out of the shower.


	29. Chapter 26

Going to Extremes

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

A/N: For those of you who nitpick and note that the policy on real people is that you can't include them in a story, the fact of the matter is, I'm not including our reality's Bruce Campbell. I am including the Bruce Campbell from the upcoming movie _My Name Is Bruce_, so HA to the people who may wish to report me! Thank you, Mr. Campbell, for providing us fanfiction writers with a means of including you in our fics!! On with the show!

ҖECWҖ

Giles walked into Willy's with a mixture of anticipation and anxiety. Tonight, he would be watching his 'son' as he faced two other men for a world championship…it was a very emotional event, even if one were to disregard the circumstances surrounding his joining ECW.

"Giles," he heard his name.

He nodded as he spotted Angel and Cordelia sitting at a table, and quickly rushed over to join them.

"Hello, all," Giles said as he sat down beside Angel.

"Bought you a Guinness," Cordelia said with a smile, hanging him his drink.

"You're not old enough to buy alcohol," Giles admonished.

"Like he cares," Cordelia said.

"I don't," Willy said from the bar.

"Thank you, William," Giles muttered, "Thank you, anyway."

"I wouldn't drink it," Angel said, ignoring Cordelia's look.

"Why," Giles asked.

"She poured her bottle of nail polish into it," Willy said from the bar, "Catch!"

Giles deftly caught the flying beer bottle, then glared at Cordelia.

"You owe me for both, by the way," Willy said.

"…Sue me, you did nothing as that bitch kicked him out," Cordelia said with a scowl, "I have a right to be mad at you."

"…Yes, you do," Giles admitted, "But, I'm not here in that regard. I'm here to watch the tele."

"Shh, it's starting," Angel said, "I put down five hundred that Xander would win."

"I put down two thousand," Cordy said with a smile.

"Willy," Giles called out, "A hundred and fifty on Xander winning," at their looks, he said, "I'm a librarian."

Angel and Cordelia shared a look, then a shrug.

ҖECWҖ

The ECW entrance ended, immediately moving to a camera on the street. Francine stood in front of it, dressed to kill in a little black dress.

"How do I look," she said, "Do my boobs look ok?"

"They look fine," the cameraman said.

Francine slapped him and said, "Pervert."

"Francine," Joey said from inside, "Forget about your boobs and focus. This is the first time a celebrity's ever visited ECW, aside from the Philadelphia Eagles."

"I remember that day," she said with a grin, "I couldn't walk for a week."

"…Good God," Joey said, "Anyway, just keep a lookout for Bruce Campbell."

"OK, poindexter," Francine said, before she looked up the street and started bouncing up and down, "HE'S HERE, HE'S HERE!!"

"FRANCINE, I SWEAR TO GOD," Joey shouted, "…Just…wave him down, and open the door for him."

Francine nodded as she straightened herself out, checked her boobs one more time, and waved for the limo. The camera showed the limo start to come in and park on the side of the road. Francine smiled as she walked towards the back and opened up the back door, only to look inside in confusion.

"Francine," Joey said, "What are you doing?"

"This isn't Bruce Campbell's limo," she said, opening the door fully, allowing the camera to see a group of teenagers dressed in tuxes and dresses.

"Ugh, no, lady, it's not," one of the teens said, "Listen, we're just on our way to the South Philadelphia High School prom…we're not interested in getting a hooker."

"You may not be, but I am," one of the teens tried to come forward, only for Francine to push him back into the limo and slam the door shut. As the limo sped away, she turned towards the camera.

"…Sorry," she said with a smile.

Behind her, a taxi pulled up.

"S'cuse me," the driver called to Francine, "Is this the ECW Arena?"

"Yes," she said, confused.

"Here you are, Mr. Campbell," the driver said.

"Mr. Campbell," Francine connected the dots, "BRUCE CAMPBELL!"

She moved to the back and opened the door for him. The Chin himself, Bruce Campbell, stepped out from the cab, dressed in a pair of khaki pants and a Hawaiian shirt.

"Bruce Campbell," Francine asked, expecting him to be more dressed up and in a limo.

"Right here, little lady," Bruce said as he walked up to the front of the cab and pulled out some money, "Thanks for the ride, Phil."

"My pleasure, Mr. Campbell," the driver said with a smile, "SHOP SMART, SHOP S-MART!"

"Right back atcha," Bruce shouted as the cab pulled away.

He turned back towards the camera and Francine and clapped his hands together and said, "Well, I'm here, and you are…"

"Francine," she introduced herself, a little perplexed by him, "Forgive me, Mr. Campbell, but I thought you'd be…in a suit…or a limo."

"Oh, I don't go in for that fancy Hollywood crap," Bruce said as he shook her hand, "So, this is the famous ECW, then. I'm really looking forward to tonight."

He walked towards the arena, where there was a large crowd gathered. As soon as they saw him, they started chanting:

**HAIL TO THE CHIN!! HAIL TO THE CHIN!! HAIL TO THE CHIN!!**

**A-O-D!! A-O-D!! A-O-D!! A-O-D!! A-O-D!! A-O-D!!**

"Thanks, guys," Bruce shouted as soon as they quieted down, "All I gotta say to that is, thanks, and…E-C-FUCKIN'-W!"

The fans lit up at that, then started chanting:

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

"Stop by after the show, and I'll be signing autographs and taking pictures in the ring."

With that, Bruce Campbell followed Francine into the arena.

"There he is, ladies and gentlemen, the Chin himself, Mr. Army of Darkness, Bruce Campbell," Joey said, "…God, I hope nobody kills him."

ҖECWҖ

In the back, Xander and Jonathan were both pacing back and forth as they awaited Bruce Campbell's arrival. Faith and Tommy were sitting off to the side, both drinking from their beers as they watched the two.

"It's like…watching one of those pong matches," Tommy said, "It's utterly boring, but you just can't stop watching."

"I never played pong," Faith said, feeling a little embarrassed for her boyfriend.

"Well, I'm a little older than you," Tommy said, "And, for God's sake, will you two please stop pacing!"

"Can't stop, too nervous," Xander said.

"It's Bruce-freakin'-Campbell for God's sake," Jono said, "How can we be calm?"

"Would you be calm if you met Ric Flair, Tommy," Xander said, "Or how 'bout you if you met Rob Zombie or James Hetfield, Faith?"

Faith and Tommy shared a look, then shrugged. Xander and Jonathan just continued their pacing, waiting for the man to arrive. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Paul E showed up, his eyes alit.

"Joey just told me, Bruce Campbell's in the building," Paul said, "Get yourselves ready, Francine's bringing him around the corner in this direction."

"Oh, God," Xander said, looking down at his shirt, "Does this look OK?"

They were all dressed in _Army of Darkness_ shirts, Xander's being from the original movie cover, Jono's was of Ash holding his shotgun up with the phrase 'this is my boomstick' on it, and Faith was dressed in the one with Ash's head and a crossed chainsaw and shotgun.

"Yeah, it looks good," Faith said.

"Ooh, pull that rip a little bit more," Jono said, "Mr. Campbell would like to see more of your bra."

"Jono," Xander slapped the back of his head, before turning to Faith and saying, "I really would, though."

"Too bad," Faith snarked, folding her arms beneath her breasts in a show of anger, "I'm not gonna be your eye candy for _Mr. Bruce Campbell_," she said the last bit in a sarcastic voice.

"Hey, hey, hey," Xander said, wrapping an arm around her, "You'll never be anyone's eye candy. You are a strong, fiercely independent woman who can kick my ass ten times over…with her pinky. Aside from that, I love you, and would never use you in such a way."

Faith blinked back a small tear before turning around and embracing him. She looked up at him and said, "You always know just what to say to turn a girl on, don't you?"

"Yes, always," he lied obviously, "Besides, you'll never be anyone's eye candy…you're too busy being my arm candy."

Faith whopped him on the chest, though lightly enough to only cause him a sufficient amount of pain, then said, "You're an ass."

"Yep," he said without apology.

"Well," a new voice said, "If I could sweet talk a woman like that, I'd still be married to my first wife."

Xander, Faith, Jonathan, and Tommy looked down the hallway as Bruce Campbell, followed by Francine and a camera, walked towards them.

"Oh, my God," Jono started squealing, "Oh, my God, it's him! It's Bruce Campbell!!"

"Jesus, Jono, calm down," Xander said, "At least try and be cool."

Xander took a breath to compose himself as he walked forward, before totally losing it and running up to Bruce and shaking his hand enthusiastically, saying, "Oh, my God, it's you! It's you!!"

"Ok, kid, settle down," Bruce said as he managed to extract his hand from Xander's, "So, you're the one that's been influenced so much by Ash? I've seen you on television, I like the way you've taken the character. If there's ever a remake or a sequel done of it, I'm gonna make damn sure you're in it."

"Holy…crap," Xander said, "Thank you, Mr. Campbell, thank you."

"Call me Bruce," the man said with a grin, "Your name's Xander, right? Or is that a ring name?"

"It's my real name," Xander said.

"Cool," Bruce said, "And, this is."

"I'm his girlfriend, Faith," she came up to him, extending her hand to him, "Nice to meet you."

"The pleasure," Bruce said, lifting him her hand to his mouth, "Is all mine," he laid a gossamer kiss on her hand.

"Thanks…I guess," Faith said, not sure how to respond as she looked to Xander, who was thinking, _Holy Crap, Bruce Campbell is hitting on my girlfriend…this is the greatest day ever!!_

"And, this is Jonathan, our manager," Xander said, introducing his friend, "We've known each other since high school."

"It is a pleasure, Mr. Campbell," Jono said with a grin, barely keeping himself together, "I loved you in all the _Evil Dead_ movies, and in those TV shows!"

"Thanks, kid, I appreciate it," Bruce said with a grin, "You all show me those shirts after the match, and I'll sign them."

"And my copy of _Army of Darkness_," Jono asked.

"Sure," Bruce said.

"Can we take pictures," Xander asked.

"Sure," Bruce said.

"Will you sign the pictures," Xander and Jono asked.

"Sure, I will," Bruce said with a smile.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," Xander said, "Oh, and before my geek joy overwhelms me, this is Tommy Dreamer, the man who got me into wrestling. Now, if you'll excuse us for just a moment."

Tommy walked forward, very perplexed by Xander's geek side as he and Jono quickly headed for their locker room, and shook the man's hand.

"You and Faith seem to be the only two not practically having an orgasm at my presence," Bruce said with a laugh.

"I did enjoy _Army of Darkness_," Tommy said, "But, I've never really been a horror movie fan."

"That's cool," Bruce said, "You look like a very serious guy."

"I have my days," Tommy said with a small grin.

"Alright, so, what's the plan in this match," Bruce asked, turning to Faith as he did so, "Do I just stand back and let you do your thing?"

"We don't really care," Faith said, "Just don't be a hero or anything, Taz and Sabu are tough mothers. You can beat the crap outta Fonzie all you want, though."

"What, am I expected to," Bruce asked, not really getting it.

"Like I said, it's up to you," Faith said.

"You think we're like WCW and WWF, don't you," Tommy said with a grin.

"Well, aren't you," Bruce asked, "From what I've known, pro wrestling is fake."

"In most places, yeah, it is," Tommy said, "But, in ECW, it's as real as it gets."

"Wow," Bruce said, "So, it's really ok if I do whatever I wish?"

"Like I said, try not to mess with Taz or Sabu," Faith said, "Fuck with Fonzie all you want. He's the guy blowing the annoying whistle and missing teeth."

"OK, we got the camera and tripod," Xander said as he and Jono set it up, "Francine, would you?"

"Sure, Xander," Francine said, a little too sweetly as Faith narrowed her eyes at her.

"Ok, group shot," Xander said, "Tommy, you get in here, too."

Tommy, Jono, Bruce, Xander, and Faith posed for the picture.

"Say, can I get one with the belt," Bruce asked.

"Sure," Xander said happily.

ҖECWҖ

_Huka Blues_ came on as Sabu walked out from behind the curtain to a series of boos and cheers, with Fonzie right behind him. Sabu climbed into the ring and paced around, keeping his hand on the FTW Championship as he waited.

**SA-FUCKIN'-BU!! SA-FUCKIN'-BU!!**

_Survive If I Let You!!_

Taz walked out to a lot of applause, but still some boos. He climbed into the ring and tossed his towel away, folding his arms as he stared with cold indifference at nothing. The camera focused on his newest prize, the ECW World Heavyweight Championship.

"Well, there's our champion, the miserable human being that he is," Joey said.

**TAZ!! TAZ!! TAZ!! TAZ!!**

Then, _Judgment Day_ came on, and the fans went fucking nuts!!

"Whoa," Joey said in shock, "I've never heard the crowd that loud before!"

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE CHIN!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE CHIN!!**

Xander walked out first, the ECW TV Title on his waist, and Faith walked out right behind him. Jonathan came out next, and all three waited at the entrance. Then, Bruce Campbell walked out, his arms extended to the crowd as they completely went ballistic!

**HAIL TO THE CHIN!! HAIL TO THE CHIN!! HAIL TO THE CHIN!!**

**A-O-D!! A-O-D!! A-O-D!! A-O-D!!**

"I think we're going to have to change our stable name, X," Faith whispered as they walked towards the ring, taking their time to shake hands with the fans as Bruce did so.

"Maybe," Xander said, giving it some thought.

Eventually, all four of them got into the ring. Bruce Campbell sat in the corner on the top rope, waving to the fans as they waited for the introductions.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a three-way dance," the announcer said, "And, it is for the unrecognized FTW World Heavy Championship!!

"Introducing first, from the Red Hook section of Brooklyn, New York, weighing in tonight at 240 pounds, he is the current ECW World Heavyweight Champion, the Human Suplex Machine, ladies and gentlemen, this…is…TAZ!!"

**TAZ!! TAZ!! TAZ!! TAZ!!**

"Introducing next, accompanied to the ring by their manager, Jono, and the Dark Slayer, Faith," he paused as the crowd lit up for them, "And, being accompanied tonight by special guest celebrity, star of the _Evil Dead_ trilogy, known in Hollywood as the Chin, Mr. Bruce Campbell," the crowd shouted so much that he couldn't finish and just stood back and let them chant.

**HAIL TO THE CHIN!! HAIL TO THE CHIN!! HAIL TO THE CHIN!!**

**A-O-D!! A-O-D!! A-O-D!! A-O-D!! A-O-D!! A-O-D!!**

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

"Man, these ECW fans sure know how to make someone feel welcome," Bruce said as he waved.

"Just imagine if they didn't like you," Jono muttered to him.

"As I was saying," the announcer picked up once they quieted, "From la Boca del Inferno, California, he weighs in tonight at 239 pounds, he is the current ECW World Television Champion, the Hardcore King of Extreme, the X-Man, ladies and gentlemen, this…is…XANDER HARRIS!!"

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

"And, from Bombay, Michigan, he weighs in tonight at 220 pounds, and is the current unrecognized FTW World Heavyweight Champion, he is Suicidal, Homicidal, Genocidal, the Death-Defying Maniac of ECW, ladies and gentlemen…this…is…SABU!!"

**SA-FUCKIN'-BU!! SA-FUCKIN'-BU!! SA-FUCKIN'-BU!!**

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

"Remember," Faith said as she, Jono, and Bruce climbed out the ring, "You can do this!"

"Thanks, Faith," Xander said, blowing a kiss at her.

"Knock 'em dead, kid," Bruce shouted at him.

Xander nodded at him, focusing on the task at hand…the bell rang.


	30. Chapter 27

Going to Extremes

Going to Extremes

Disclaimer: own nothing.

A/N: timeline is majorly screwed with.

Summary: After the lie is discovered, Xander is forced into extreme exile.

ҖECWҖ

"My word, what an ovation for a B-movie celebrity," Giles said as he watched the crowd.

"I saw _Army of Darkness_ in London," Angel said, "It's an excellent movie, even if it is a little on the short side."

"I've got to rent it sometime soon," Cordelia said.

"Alright, ladies and monsters," Willy shouted, "The bets are as follows: seventeen people have bet for Xander Harris winning, twelve for Sabu winning, and six for Taz winning, with a side bet of fourteen for someone dying, and two people bet that Bruce Campbell would deck someone."

"Good Lord," Giles said, "I say, Willy, put me down for another hundred on Mr. Campbell punching someone."

"Sure thing, Watcher," Willy said, marking it down.

"Are you sure it's a good idea to gamble so much," Cordelia wondered.

Angel and Giles just smiled and shared a look, then both said, "You ever been to the track?"

ҖECWҖ

The bell rang…

Xander stood back as Taz and Sabu began to move in for each other, obviously wanting to take each other out first. As he examined the two move, he decided that it would be best if he focused on simply helping Taz beat the crap out of Sabu while beating on Taz sporadically. He watched as Taz snapmared Sabu to the mat, then he ran for the ropes as Taz applied a choke and did a low dropkick in Sabu, sending him reeling as Taz let go.

Taz, just out to kick ass and never take names, ran at him in a clothesline attempt. Xander ducked it and grabbed his waist, giving him a German Suplex, sending Taz to the mat. He tried to do it again as his arms were still wrapped around him, but the second he got Taz up, Taz somehow whipped his arms out and grabbed his waist, giving him a belly-to-belly Tazplex. Xander rolled out of it and quickly got to his feet, only to get floored again as Sabu leapt from the corner onto Xander. Sabu quickly got on top of Xander's back and pulled back on his head, locking in a camel clutch.

Taz glared at the two, before running for the ropes, then he sprinted for the other side and turned, heading right for Xander and Sabu. Xander, seeing what he was about to do, bit Sabu's hands as hard as he could, forcing Sabu to let go of him. As soon as he was free, Xander ducked down, barely avoiding Taz's Brooklyn Boot, which hit Sabu squarely in the chest, sending him reeling backwards. Taz bet down and lifted Xander up, then grabbed him and powerslammed him to the mat. Xander got up faster than Taz thought he would and kicked him in the stomach, then grabbed his head and DDT-ed him to the mat.

He then ran for Sabu and gave him a legdrop, then got up and flipped Sabu on his stomach and grabbed his leg, applying his submission maneuver.

**THIS MATCH RULES!! THIS MATCH RULES!! THIS MATCH RULES!!**

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

"Single-leg California crab by the Hardcore King of Extreme," Joey shouted, "The fans are certainly getting more than their money's worth tonight."

Taz went for another attempt at his Brooklyn Boot, but Xander ducked it, losing his hold of Sabu as well. Sabu rolled onto his back and kicked Xander as hard as he could in his ass, sending him head-first into the ring post. Taz then grabbed him and went for the pin.

**ONE…TW-**

Xander grabbed hold of Taz at his groin and his head and rolled himself onto his stomach, rolling Taz onto his back. He roared out as he lifted Taz up and threw him over his head and into corner while he was still on his knees.

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

"Wow," Bruce said, "It's a lot better watching it in real life. You guys do this every week?"

"Yep," Faith said with some pride.

Taz instinctively got out of the ring, while Xander got to his feet. As soon as he was there, though, Sabu came out of nowhere and dropkicked him to the mat. He attempted to follow up with a springboard legdrop, but Xander rolled out of the way. He turned on his back and kicked Sabu in the side as he was still sitting, sending him reeling in pain. Xander quickly got up and practically flew onto the top rope, then jumped off, flipping in the air as he did so, and landed on Sabu in a hellacious Shooting Star Leg Drop!

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Xander quickly got up and ran for the ropes, intending on doing a splash for the pin, only to have Taz grab his leg, tripping him up as he ran. Taz then quickly got in and applied the Tazmission. Fortunately for Xander, though, his foot was still beneath the ropes, causing the ref to force him to let go. Taz quickly got back to his feet, but before he could attack, Xander forced his feet up, using his back as leverage, and kicked Taz as hard as he could in the ribs. Taz was forced backwards and into the ropes, and he grabbed hold of them to keep himself up. Unfortunately, he didn't see Sabu as he jumped off the top rope, holding a chair underneath his extended legs, and rammed the chair directly into Taz's neck, forcing him outside the ring.

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! SA-FUCKIN'-BU!! SA-FUCKIN'-BU!! SA-FUCKIN'-BU!!**

Sabu quickly set up the chair and pointed for the heavens, kicked Xander to keep him down, and ran for the ropes. He ran back towards the chair, jumped onto it, then jumped on the ropes and leapt off them, landing onto the now-standing Taz. Taz, however, saw him coming and managed to grab him when he landed on him, then threw Sabu over him in a hellacious belly-to-belly Tazplex, sending Sabu directly into the crowd!!

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!**

**TAZ!! TAZ!! TAZ!! TAZ!! TAZ!!**

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Xander sat back in the corner as he watched Taz immediately jump into the crowd. Rather than chase after them, he decided to simply sit back and let whatever happened happen. That is, until a rather large individual by the name of Mike Awesome climbed into the ring, with Fonzie right behind him.

"Get him, Mike, kick his ass," Fonzie shouted as he blew his whistle.

"Get up," Awesome said, towering over him.

Xander sighed and climbed to his feet, then ducked down as Awesome went for a clothesline, and kicked him in the back of his knees, bringing the big man down. Xander ran for the ropes and did a springboard dropkick, sending him down to the ground. Xander followed through with a springboard legdrop, keeping Awesome down. He snarled as he turned his attention to Fonzie, who, in spite of seeing him effortlessly take down his crony, did not seem worried at all.

"What the Hell are you smiling about," Xander demanded.

"Mostly the fact that I set up a table," Fonzie said, pointing at said table, "Oh, and the fact that Mike just got up and is right behind you."

Xander stiffened, and quickly turned around, and practically walked into the boot that Awesome had sent for his gut. Awesome then pulled him head-first into his groin, then lifted him up in a powerbomb, and effortlessly carried him over to the ropes and dropped him into the table with thunderous force!

"OH, MY GOD," Joey shouted.

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!**

**FUCK YOU, AWE-SOME!! FUCK YOU, AWE-SOME!!**

"Well, the fans sure as Hell did not like that," Joey said, "Still, give Fonzie credit, he does know how to keep Xander occupied."

"Why the Hell aren't you doing something," Bruce asked indignantly.

"Ain't no chance in Hell I'm going up against that guy," Jono said.

"I wanna," Faith muttered, "Oh, do I wanna. But, at the moment, it's just Xander and Awesome fighting. If Sabu and Taz weren't so busy beating the crap outta each other, I'm sure Awesome wouldn't be involved at all. If he tries that powerbomb again, though," Faith didn't finish, but her look indicated what she had planned.

Xander tried to blink the stars away, but that impact had simply taken too much out of him to move quickly. His ears were ringing, of course that could be because Fonzie was blowing that damned whistle of his. He couldn't hear anything else. That is, until he heard Jono shout to move. Xander followed his instincts and quickly got off the floor, ducking underneath the ring, just in time as the airborne Mike Awesome painfully connected chest-first with the broken table and concrete!

"Suicide dive by Mike Awesome leads to near suicide," Joey said, "He may be powerful and faster than most cruiserweights, but that don't matter when your head hits that concrete!"

"JONO," Xander shouted, "CHAIR!"

Jonathan nodded and took one of the fan's offered chairs and tossed it to Xander, who caught it and set it up in front of the already moving Awesome. He quickly leapt onto the top rope and waited for Awesome to get to his feet.

"HEY, DICKHEAD," Xander shouted.

As soon as Awesome turned, Xander jumped down, caught his head in the crook of his arm, and rotated around, slamming Awesome's skull into the steel chair in a hellacious DDT!

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!**

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

ҖECWҖ

"Good Lord," Giles said as he watched the match, "That was a horrendous blow! I hope Xander is alright."

"Oh, please," Cordelia said, "I once saw him get driven through one table into another one that was on fire! He'll be fine."

"Good Lord," Giles muttered, "He really does all this?"

"Yes, he does," Angel stated, "And he's pretty good at it, too."

ҖECWҖ

Taz and Sabu had taken their fight to the other side of the guardrails, still brawling amongst the fans. Fonzie was in the ring, blowing that damned whistle of his. Meanwhile, Xander was trying to keep Mike Awesome from getting the upper hand, which was proving more difficult than he thought.

Xander ducked the fist that Awesome had sent his way, then lashed out with a furious chop to the big man's abdomen. He bent over, clutching his side, and Xander followed up with a stiff kick to the man's temple. The big man wavered for a moment, but still didn't go down.

"God damn you," Xander shouted, "What does it take to put you down!?"

Xander slammed his fist directly into the same spot his steel-toed boot had hit, but only caused Awesome to waver some more. He drew his arm back and swung again, only to have his fist caught in Awesome's larger hands. Awesome grinned at him and applied pressure, causing Xander to groan in pain as he felt his hand breaking.

Then, like an angel, Faith fell from the sky and onto Awesome, landing a dropkick that finally sent the big man down to the ground.

"Jesus, are you alright," Faith said, she was scared to death after seeing what Awesome had done.

"Yeah," he said, flexing his fist only to feel an extraordinary amount of pain, "No. My hand feels like it's been shattered."

"Think you can continue," Faith asked, examining his hand.

"…I guess I'll have to," Xander said.

Faith looked up and saw that Xander was looking up behind her, and turned around to see Mike Awesome towering over them, a snarl on his face.

"You'll pay for that, bitch," Awesome growled.

"…Think we can take him," Xander asked as he stepped forward, shaking his hand loose.

"Fuck yeah," Faith grinned.

The two turned towards each other and smiled, then both lashed out, kicking Awesome in the stomach. They grabbed his head and both slammed it down into the concrete in a DDT. This time, they took no chances and grabbed some chairs, quickly as Awesome was already getting up.

"Damn, what's it gonna take to put him down," Faith wondered.

"Only one way to find out," Xander said.

ҖECWҖ

"How can you stand just standing here," Bruce demanded, feeling helpless as he watched the people he came here to support get creamed by someone larger than them.

"It ain't easy, I'll say that much," Jonathan reached underneath the ring and pulled out a length of rope, "Do me a favor and distract Fonzie while I set this up?"

"My pleasure," Bruce said with a grin, "His whistle's been bugging me all night."

Bruce quickly climbed into the ring, sneaking up behind Fonzie as he continued to blow his whistle and shake his fists in support of Awesome. The fans started to cheer even louder as they saw what was about to happen.

Bruce gently tapped Fonzie on the shoulder, causing him to whirl around. Bruce quickly caught up Fonzie's whistle and pulled it out of his mouth.

"Hey, give it back," Fonzie shouted.

"Sure," Bruce said, stretching his hand out to return the whistle. Soon as Fonzie reached for it, he lifted his hand up. As Bruce was a good six inches taller than Fonzie, he had little difficulty keeping the man from reaching the whistle; this elicited a large amount of laughs from the crowd.

"Now, isn't that something," Joey said, also laughing, "Bruce Campbell is taunting Fonzie! With his own whistle!! HAHA!!"

Finally, Bruce extended his hand again and smiled at him, saying, "For real."

Fonzie tentatively reached out for his whistle, and tried to snatch it away, but Bruce was much quicker and whipped his hand away, then pivoted and tossed the whistle into the audience, eliciting a very positive reaction from the crowd.

**HAIL TO THE CHIN!! HAIL TO THE CHIN!! HAIL TO THE CHIN!!**

Fonzie looked at him in rage and threw a punch, which caught Bruce squarely in the jaw, causing the fans to boo mercilessly. Bruce, however, merely chuckled. He took a moment to shake himself loose, then assumed a relaxed stance and slowly raised his arm up, then indicated for Fonzie to come at him.

"Come on, Overbite," Bruce said, "Let's dance!"

Fonzie stared at him in fear before sticking his chest out and throwing a punch. Bruce simply backed up, dodging it.

"Too slow," Bruce taunted.

Fonzie threw another punch.

"My grandmother hits harder than that!"

Fonzie threw another.

"Do you need to take a breather?"

Fonzie threw one more punch, and this time, Bruce moved forward and into Fonzie, avoiding the punch. He grabbed Fonzie's head and brought it down to his knee, then swiftly threw him backwards onto the mat. The fans were cheering wildly for him.

**HAIL TO THE CHIN!! HAIL TO THE CHIN!! HAIL TO THE CHIN!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Meanwhile, Jonathan had finished setting up his rope. He stood up from underneath the ring and used his hands to get an idea of how tall Awesome was, then turned to the fans.

"Chair, please," a fan tossed him a chair, and he quickly unfolded it and stood it a few feet away from the rope. He turned back around and reached underneath the ring and pooled out a two-by-four.

"Xander, Faith," he shouted out, "Over here!"

His two friends saw what he had done and nodded to him. Awesome got up from their latest attack and ran at them, but they both caught his arms and sent him as far as they could towards Jonathan. Awesome was going too fast and did not notice the rope, causing him to trip and fall…neck-first into the chair that Jono had set up.

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!**

**JON-A-THAN!! JON-A-THAN!! JON-A-THAN!!**

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Awesome tried to get up, but Jonathan slammed his two-by-four into his head, finally rendering the big man unconscious.

Bruce, meanwhile, had cornered Fonzie in the ring, and the little man was actually cowering before him. Eventually, Fonzie managed to slip out from beneath the ropes and quickly headed for the guardrail.

"THAT'S RIGHT," Bruce shouted after him, "GO HOME AND CRY TO MAMA!!"

Suddenly, the fans started chanting:

**BE-HIND YOU!! BE-HIND YOU!! BE-HIND YOU!!**

Bruce quickly turned around, coming face-to-face with Sabu. Bruce backed up slightly, frightened by the man's sudden appearance. However, after collecting himself, Bruce walked right up to Sabu and got in his face.

"Come on, Rin Tin Tin," Bruce taunted, "You want some?"

Sabu just stared at him, a mixture of surprise and anger in his eyes. Bruce caught something out the corner of his eye and just barely looked down, seeing Faith and Jonathan mouth the words 'push him away' to him. Bruce nodded, ever so slightly, and pushed Sabu as hard as he could with both arms.

Before Sabu could react, however, Xander leapt off the top rope and missile dropkicked him through the ropes to the floor below!

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

"Thanks, kid," Bruce said, shaking hands with Xander.

"My pleasure, Bruce," Xander said, and he began to walk towards the outside to continue dealing with Sabu.

Bruce turned and walked for the ropes, intending to get out the ring, only to have two thick arms wrap around him a tight vice.

"I don't give a shit who you are," Taz snarled at him, "No one interferes in my matches."

Taz prepared to give Bruce a major Tazplex, but stopped when he felt an extreme amount of pain come up in his side. He dropped Bruce and staggered away, clutching his side in pain. As he turned around, he barely had time to see Xander's face before he chopped him again, this time in the chest, sending him down to the mat.

"…Thanks, again," Bruce said, and he quickly left the ring.

Xander nodded and turned around, intending on dealing with Taz, only to walk right into a steel chair. He fell to the ground and Sabu pulled him away from the ropes and pinned him.

**ONE…TWO…TH-**

Xander kicked out and grabbed Sabu's neck in a vice grip, then pulled him down and headbutted him, causing him to fall backwards as he landed on the mat. Xander quickly got to his feet and, seeing a window of opportunity, he quickly dragged the still recovering Taz to the ropes behind Sabu. Xander then got onto the corner and onto the top rope.

"Faith, Jono," Xander shouted, "Set up a table on that corner, to the left of Taz!"

"You got it," Jono said, and the two immediately went underneath the ring and pulled out a table.

"What the Hell is he doing," Joey wondered.

Xander walked along the top rope, balancing himself impeccably, and waited. The second Sabu was on his feet, he leapt up into the air, landed on the ropes with his legs extended, causing him to rotate around and kick Sabu squarely in the chest, sending him backwards and into the waiting arms of Taz, who caught Sabu with the Tazmission as soon as he grabbed him.

As Taz began to choke Sabu out, Xander got out the ring and retrieved his pool stick. Taking a moment, he lifted it up to the fans and shouted, "This is my BOOMSTICK!"

**BOOM-STICK!! BOOM-STICK!! BOOM-STICK!!**

Xander got back in the ring and made sure the table was secure as the ref lifted Sabu's arm.

**ONE!!**

**TWO!!**

**THREE!!**

"Taz has choked Sabu out," Joey shouted, "Now, it's down to Taz and Xander!"

"Ladies and gentlemen," the announcer called, "Sabu has been eliminated. The match for the FTW Championship shall continue, and there shall be a NEW FTW CHAMPION!"

Xander climbed onto the top rope again and, as soon as Taz was up, he leapt off of it and slammed his stick into Taz's head and chest, shattering it.

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Taz was a blood mess by then, and barely there in the head. Xander quickly lifted him up and laid him against the inclined table, then ran over to the other side and climbed the top rope.

"Oh, crap," Joey said.

Xander took a moment to steady himself, then launched himself as hard as he could off the ropes, dropkicking Taz in the chest and into the table as he came down, forcing Taz through it and into the ring post!

"OH, MY GOD," Joey shouted.

**HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!**

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Xander quickly pulled him away and pinned him.

"**ONE,"** Faith, Bruce, and Jono shouted.

ҖECWҖ

"**TWO,"** Giles, Angel, Cordelia, and all the patrons of Willy's shouted.

ҖECWҖ

"**THREE!!" **The ECW fans all shouted out.

Xander got off of Taz as he heard the fans positively explode for him. He could barely move, but thankfully didn't have to, as Faith, Jonathan, and Bruce leapt into the ring and pulled him up. Soon, Tommy, Spike, and New Jack got into the ring and Tommy and Jack lifted him up on their shoulders in celebration.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," the announcer shouted, "Your winner, and NEW FTW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…THE HARDCORE KING OF EXTREME, THE X-MAN, XANDER HARRIS!!"

_Judgment Day_ came on as Xander was given both the FTW and ECW TV Titles. He stared at them both for a moment before raising them up for the fans to see.

**HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!! HAIL TO THE KING!!**

**E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!! E-C-DUB!!**

Xander quickly buckled the TV belt up, wrapping it around his shoulder. He stared at the FTW belt for a moment before doing the same on his other shoulder, leaving the FTW belt in front of his chest. He raised his hands in celebration.

No one noticed the FTW belt glow a golden light for only a moment before returning to normal…no one, that is, except for Francine.

"Soon," she promised herself with a smile.

ҖECWҖ

A/N: WOO!! That's it for 'Going to Extremes,' ladies and gentlemen. I'm going to start posting some of 'Extreme Measures' in the next month or so. I need a bit of a break from wrestling stories. Still, I am very pleased with how this fic series is going. Hopefully everyone enjoyed my Bruce Campbell interpretation. Again, for those of you nitpickers who might want to report me, all I gotta say is this Bruce Campbell is the same one from the upcoming _My Name Is Bruce_ movie, which I will watch! Later, my friends.

AS


End file.
